how do i get my 9 year old daughter from lying to me?

Question

should i have crushed her gameboy cartridge under my shoe when she lied this morning when i found it in her lunchbag??

Answer 1

No, you're insane.

Answer 2

That sounds like something I would have done. In fact I have done things like that. In our home, lying is the worst thing a person can do so it needs serious consequences. Don't listen to all of these bleeding hearts that say you should be her best friend or that violence breeds violence. That's bullsh!t. We are parents, not friends and as parents we are responsible for teaching our children. Sometimes harsher measures are needed and if destroying their things is what it takes then by all means DO IT! Our kids don't lie to us anymore because they have finally learned that lying doesn't work. It took a long time and a lot of different approaches but it worked and yes it included destroying or taking away their toys. They got tired of having nothing to play with.

Answer 3

that was a little harsh. You should have taken the game away for a week or if this keeps happening a month. No matter how much she begs you DONT GIVE IT BACK TO HER. Since she is 9 i am guessing that you bought the gameboy cartridge...do you really want to break something that you spent your money on?? If you keep having problems sell the game on ebay.

Answer 4

i recognize that you were kidding about crushing the gameboy cartridge. you have a right to be upset with her. i don't know if you can keep her from lying to you. if she has lied to you in the past she may be strong willed and determined to get her own way. so she is lying to prevent you from stopping her from getting what she wants. i would say that you have to punish her in a way that shows she will loose access to something she wants every time she lies. if she lies about the gameboy then she should lose it for 3 days. you get the picture. i wish you lots of luck with your little girl.

Answer 5

I get really upset by lies from my child too. She used to always be honest til she was 9, and then I guess she figured it's easier to lie to me than to listen to me. I wouldn't crush the cartridge, but I would take it away for a week or 2 to teach her to think twice before lying again.

Answer 6

kids lie all the time so be vigilant and watch for lies. However when you find out the truth take a nicer approach and try not to use scare tatics. Crushing the game won't help since it will set a bad example to your daughter by giving her the message violenc and destruction will solve the problem. Instead you should sternly talk to her and explain to her why not to lie.

Answer 7

This needs to be addressed at a very early age with children. I always let my children know that there would be consequences for lying far worse than for telling the truth . Often there were no consequences for telling the truth. I would just thank them and tell them that I know it was hard to do . Be consistent.

Answer 8

The policy regarding lying at our house is you get punished twice. Once for the offense and once for the lying. This may mean no allowance for the week or extra chores or it may add additional time to the original offense' punishment.

Answer 9

Perhaps you should consider yourself in this situation. If parents demonstrate lack of control in front of their children it causes their children to feel insecure and untrusting toward them, therefore they will be even MORE likely to lie to you. It seems as though you have a temper you're quite likely to pass that down; not only will you have a child that lies, but one that lies AND has anger control problems.

Answer 10

I would wonder ,why?she feels the need to Hide it.If you want to teach her agreat lesson in violence,then crush it.but that does not make sense..do you think,lying is so uncommon in children of that age?I would seek some parenting advice,if you are uncomfortable with talking to her and setting limits.,,also,,it depends on,,how frequent the child is "lying/swaying from the truth.Good luck!

Answer 11

yes, lieing makes me feel like that too. When my daughter lies to me, I tell her that if she is going to continue to lie to me, then she won't have any privileges, like going to her friends, because I need to trust her, and know what she is doing. The worst part is when she lies to me, she does it well, I never know until she gets caught, it really scared me. She seems to be out growing it though.