This man and I have been friends for 7 years, we became intimately involved right after my divorce. He said he Loved me, I was up front and honest, I told him i couldn't love him the way he Loved me, because i was trying to get my heart and head straight ,and get all the feelings for my X out of my system. We broke up, tried again,didn't work, all of this within 1 yr. A year later, Now i'm ready and I do love him. Now, he is afraid of being hurt, (who isn't) again. He says we tried 2 times already, didn't work. I feel previous times shouldn' t count. He just wants to be friends, says he's to old to start over, he's 48. Maybe his mind is truly set to be a loner. We started dating though, taking it slow, more like at a crawl, no intimancy after 6 months, a hug and a kiss good bye so far. I feel like I have made more than enough effort to make it work. He says he does love me. There's no closeness, no intimatcy. We do have fun when we are together. More effort, or just break it off.
2006-08-28 15:37:53 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Move on. If you want intamacy and he is avoiding it he is not into you the way you are him.
2006-08-28 15:42:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hes just out for a free frisk you should get yourself together and forget that guy. You said you where intimately involved right after your divorce. Sweety look when you keep on giving all that free sex away than you are in for turmoil. You can give a sample but you must not give them the whole box. So what I say is you wait for love, but also go out and have fun. Mr Right will swoop you up and not want you for just sex.
2006-08-28 22:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by girl176a1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is one for Doctor Joy Brown for sure. She says to always follow the one year rule of no dating for a year after a divorce, just for the reasons and situation you illustrate. Perhaps if you explain to your friend that this is a common phenomenon that happens after a divorce, he will understand you really weren't capable of a relationship so soon, and will trust you now that time has passed. If he continues to stubbornly protect himself from another rejection there is no way you can change his mind.
2006-08-28 22:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by pugrc 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what you have created is a friendship. Its dull and draggy and will never have romance and excitement because you both have put too much effort into trying to make it work. Its like you both have been babysitting an annoying child and you've both grown to resent it. Break it off or keep it as friendship.
2006-08-28 22:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by BLANK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it usually takes time to get over someone and he should understand. Now that your ready, I dont see why he doesnt want to be a couple with you. If you've tried more than your share, and still want to try...dont give up, maybe he;ll come around. Otherwise, if not i suggest you move on. I know its easy to say and hard to do........trust me, i've been through it!
2006-08-28 22:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by mam.cyborg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you diffenatly should not have told you that you didnt love him in the first place. But now that you did you should probably try to take it slow. Try to make him fall in love with you again. I hope you both have children (if you both wanted them of coarse)
good luck for the best
2006-08-28 22:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nah, you're being too pushy and in love with the thought of being in love. See other people for awhile and if he wants to take another stab at it, let it be his choice, provided you're not already involved with another potential mate.
2006-08-28 22:45:10 · answer #7 · answered by Sonny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let it develop slowly. do not force things or try to make them happen. let them happen naturally. it should not be an effort for you. you need to let him be the man, let him make the moves. if something is going to happen, it has to be from him.
in the meantime, do YOU. work on you and what makes YOU happy. as for the relationship, you will know when you have had enough- or not enough!
2006-08-28 22:52:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly don't think you shud think of it as a get serious or not sitiation, i mean, you have planty of time, and if anything did spark that would really bring u closer, then it happens. Theres no reason y u shudn't have your eye open, but theres no reason why u can't still see wat happens with him, anything can happen.
2006-08-28 22:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by shishkabab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have answered your own question! Slow and steady wins the race!GOOD-LUCK!
2006-08-28 22:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋