My best friend won't give me a straight answer if I'm the maid of honor or not. She keeps telling me she wants me to be but feels bad that her other good friend had her as her maid of honor so she says she might make her maid of honor. Should I take part in starting the party planning if she is being this way with me? Here it is September and her wedding is in November and the planning should have started.
2006-08-28 15:08:42 · 12 answers · asked by coolchic 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Her wedding is in November and she hasn't picked a maid of honor yet??? Does she know that she can have two of them??? And does she know that being in someone else's wedding has no effect on her wedding???
Call her mom, and ask if her mom has started planning a shower (even though they aren't supposed to, a lot of them do). Anyone can host the bachelorette party, so there is no problem with planning this for her even if you aren't the maid of honor.
Does your friend know that it's especially appropriate to have two maids of honor if one is really a matron of honor? The other friend would be matron of honor, and you would be maid of honor. I'd call her and suggest this, and point out that you'd like to know if you should be planning her parties or not.
2006-08-28 15:14:02 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know that you may be a little upset with your friend for giving you the run around over you being the maid of honor or not...but trust me, its not an easy decision to make...I was married almost 2 years ago and didn't even have a maid of honor...my 3 best friends were in my wedding along with my younger sister who i am really close with as well...So i just had bridesmaids...no maid of honor...that way no ones feelings would get hurt and I wouldn't have to worry about it...but anyway...on to answer the question at hand...Maybe you and the other girls in the wedding can all get together and plan it together....That would be nice..so that everyone is included...that's what my friends done for my bachelorrette party....Just a thought....Hope it helps!
2006-09-01 11:13:44 · answer #2 · answered by Meagan M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get the numbers for the friend and her mom. The mother usually hosts the shower, and the maid of honor hosts the bachelorette party. Call them both to see if they have already started planning something. Ask if there is any way that you can help if they have. If they haven't, then maybe offer to co-host. Two or three people can plan and host the party or parties) without a definite decision from the bride.
Since the bride is dragging her feet, then maybe offer to be a bridesmaid and let the other girl be the matron of honor. You would still be involved, and you could still take on some responsibilities without a title. Or ask her if she would like to have you both. It's not uncommon to see two "honors" at a wedding these days. Since one of you would be the maid, and the other the matron, you wouldn't even have to share a title. Having two close friends instead of one helping could maybe help her to pick up the pace and get with it since her wedding is so close. Trying to plan a wedding is a huge job, and maybe she wasn't up to it by herself. The amount of decisions that have to be made are more than at just about any other one time in life. Having you both could ease the process and take away some of the stress.
2006-08-29 11:21:24 · answer #3 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, do you know this other friend? IF SO, call her other girlfriend, and work it out so the two of you plan the party together. I am sorry that the bride is still sitting on the fence about the maid of honor title, but her other friends and family will enjoy the shower, so if you don't get on the ball, and work it out with the other friend then all the other woman in the bride's life will be offended/hurt/etc that there was no shower, and if you are indeed the maid of honor, it will look badly upon you, not the bride.
2006-08-28 22:15:28 · answer #4 · answered by dakotanmisty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hasn't given you a straight answer then maybe talk to the other possible maid of honour and see if she thinks she's got the job. If she's unsure too then there are two options.
#1 - Both of you confront the bride and demand a straight answer.
OR
#2 - If she's a really good friend to both of you and you both really care about her and her happiness, forget about what order you'll be coming down the aisle in and get together and plan the festivities as a team. (If you don't get along, put your differences aside for the sake of your friend.) Nothing would make the bride happier I'm sure then to see that she made the right choice about who to have stand up beside her on her big day.
2006-08-28 22:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, don't plan anything unless you are asked. Maybe you are pushing her a little and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Leave the planning until she officially makes you her maid of honor, otherwise leave it to the maid of honor to do--you could always offer her a helping hand.
2006-08-29 01:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by jay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to be a tough choice - choosing the maid of honor but what she is doing is very unfair to you and the rest of the people involved. If this person means a lot to you, you should definitely do what feels right for you. If it is in your means to have a shower and you feel like you would like to do this for her, then you should. I'm sure she would really appreciate the help as she is obviously very confused right now. I wish you luck! :) Sounds like you are keeping a positve attitude even though this is tough to handle! so good for you!
2006-09-01 20:17:44 · answer #7 · answered by danielle_4p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is cool she can have 2 maid of honor's
2006-08-29 00:47:52 · answer #8 · answered by kmami 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She can have two MOHs. Maybe suggest that to her.
If it is this late and the planning isn't happening, the wedding probably will not happen anyway. She sounds like a disorganized disaster to me.
2006-08-30 17:30:15 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's her worries not yours. If you want to make it easier for her, you can gracefully decline so she can fulfill her "obligation" to her other friend. At this point, just look for a gift for the wedding and sit back and relax. Her back is to the wall, not hers. Good Luck!
2006-09-01 16:21:15 · answer #10 · answered by dct1218 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋