Is it the Girls?????
2006-08-28 14:39:28 · 23 answers · asked by conniechung 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
by the way he is in A LOT of sports and has NICE friends. I'm VERY involved..he's just mean now!
2006-08-29 01:06:22 · update #1
My son went through the same thing. Once he turned about 13, everything was his friends, instead of doing things he used to do with me. We use to go to the movies together on Sundays, and once a year, we would go to the amusement park, and have lots of fun all day, and then one day, he said, "Mom, you have to understand, you can still go to the park with me, but once we get there, I will be with my friends! I felt so sad, but it was really the start of him becoming more independent, and at some point they really do break away from being the cute little lovable son you had as a boy, and then he starts to become a young man. It can be rough between that age and 21!!! Ive had lots of sleepless nights till the key was in the door, and you hope they are out there doing what they say they are, but you know we were young once too, and they really do what they want, and feel that what we don't know wont hurt us! Its the WORRY YEARS!! You just hope they will eventually grow out of all the crazy things that they do, and become a fine young man that you can be proud of! Good Luck!
2006-08-28 15:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by autumn wolf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion, sit him down and talk to him as if he is not your son. At this age, it is he, who makes the choices now. You can tell him what to do, but you can also give him the right to make a descent young man out of himself. You have to put trust in him, when he has earned it. Don't smother him, it will only push him away more. Some teen boys get really mean because they can have a lot on there mind. You may think "what can a young boy have on his mind, It must be a girl" Maybe it is something more serious than girl problems for him to change his personality.
Talk to him, he is the only one who can answer this.
2006-08-28 21:50:34 · answer #2 · answered by Dr.Mom 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Good for you for noticing. My mother didn't bother to notice when my brother got mean. He's probably going through an insecure phase. You might try to increase your affirmation of him, and try to get his male role models to do the same. Sometimes kids that age don't believe their moms about such things because they know their moms love them unconditionally. You can be more strategic about how you affirm him so he has no choice but believe you. If he's down in the dumps, he might even fight you on it, so make sure you win, and have tons of proof that he can't discount. I'm sure the one thing that would make him feel like a million bucks is affirmation from the cute girl he has his eye on, but in the meantime you're probably the best thing he's got going.
2006-08-28 21:55:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it's the testosterone and peer pressure. I see some people are recommending giving him space and letting him make his own decisions. I agree up to a point, but keep close tabs on him, his friends, and his activities. There is no more lethal combination in the world than testosterone and peer pressure.
He may say that he hates you for it, but keep reinforcing your rules, and holding him to a standard of behavior you find acceptable. He will grow out of it, eventually, but you can't afford to just wait for that to happen. You're entering a time of his life when he may push you away the hardest, but it's also the time when he needs you to watch out for him the most. Good luck.
2006-08-28 21:51:41 · answer #4 · answered by functionary01 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Did you know that a teenager's brain is still undeveloped? The parts that control common sense and judgment are still not working yet!
This is the absolute truth.
I would be as patient with him as possible. Develop appropriate punishments and be firm with them. Kids are like animals. They can smell fear!
Good luck.
2006-08-28 21:45:13 · answer #5 · answered by Bugsy Groucho 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its probably just a phase, is in 8th grade or did he just enter high school?
I know that once boys get to high school, almost all of them straighten up to some extent, especially since the classes aren't all by age/grade level, they're mixed, meaning that he'll soon see that there are bigger ans scarier kids then himself.
2006-08-28 21:45:14 · answer #6 · answered by ~*Prodigious*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for him to finish growing up. It probably isn't any one thing, just the teenage personality roller-coaster. Give him plenty of opportunity to see that meanness isn't really satisfying or fulfilling or admirable. Treating him more like an adult, and letting him know you expect him to behave like one, may help. Best of luck!
2006-08-28 21:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is a phase. He needs to be reminded to treat you with respect. You may have to take away privileges. Make sure he is treating others with respect. Model the behavior with him and anyone he sees you come into contact with.
2006-08-28 21:43:15 · answer #8 · answered by dtc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm a fourteen year old girl, and a lot of boys my age are really mean mostly because of their friends, their friends pressure them to be really cool and hurt weaker people's feelings, maybe you should talk with him on who he's hanging out with.
hope that helps
2006-08-28 21:50:22 · answer #9 · answered by Via 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
everybody thinks when their kids get to this age things will level out. But believe me you've got the worst to come before it levels out
No its not girls; were you never a rebellious teen ?
2006-08-28 21:56:48 · answer #10 · answered by Bob Bob 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋