My aunt just passed away and it is going to be very hard on everyone in my family including my mom, grandparents and aunt who has down syndrom. I live out of town, but I have been thinking of staying and helping out. Do you think I should stay for a month or so to help out - or should I focus on my own life? What would you do?
2006-08-28 14:34:57 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you are in a position to stay, you will be glad you did. Life is about service...not self.
2006-08-28 14:37:25 · answer #1 · answered by rcpaden 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I would personally stay. Family is the only thing we can always count on throughout life. Nobody says you have to stay for a month though....that seems like a really long time. If you can afford to stay, stay honey. You'll be glad you did. The way I see it, is when we are on our death bed and we are looking back on our lives, we are rarely ever happy about the selfish things we've done. We always tend to wish we would have done this or done that, but all those wishes are in regards to time spent with another person, a family member, a loved one, not yourself. In the bigger picture of life, this time you'll spend helping out, is a small sacrafice that will leave some long lasting impressions on those around you. Follow your heart, it seldom stears you wrong.
2006-08-28 14:47:43 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go for only a week or so, not an entire month, say your condolences and help out with the family a bit, but then get back to your own life, they'll understand you can't stay but they'll appreciate the fact that you did come by, otherwise it'll seem like an insult that you didn't show up.
2006-08-28 14:42:18 · answer #3 · answered by ~*Prodigious*~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is wonderful that you feel as you do about it all. I do believe your act of unselfish compassion is a rare trait these days and I commend you for it. I believe that the best thing to do is to ask your mother and grandparents if it would be best if you stayed to help out over the coming month or so, understanding the stress and grief that they . If they believe you can, then go for it. If they feel as though they can handle your aunt's affairs - then you can go back to your home and get on with your own life.
2006-08-28 14:41:18 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have things going on in your own life that need attention, don't feel guilty about not staying. I understand that a death can be very difficult on everyone involved, but with your mom and grandparents around to care for your aunt, it sounds like they will have everything taken care of themselves (besides, if you stay around, the house could feel really crowded and it can cause even more stress). Ask your mom and grandparents if they would like you to stay - and if their answer is "No, that's okay" then don't feel guilty about going home. Because if they really need you to hang around, they will tell you.
I'm really sorry to hear about your loss ... and I hope everything works out.
2006-08-28 14:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Tammy O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are asking the question means you're a decent person who thinks of others. It would not hurt for you to stay a little bit, a couple weeks if you could. I suspect you will not only help the family, but help yourself by spending time with people who need it.
2006-08-28 14:54:27 · answer #6 · answered by Karen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would stay one week. As much as this passing brings forth great sadness and pain, the hurt over time will lessen. For a period you can always attempt to keep in touch with kind words through phone calls, e-mails, store sympathy cards, even an unexpected flower bouquet telling that you are thinking of them in this time of sorrow.
2006-08-28 14:42:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you can afford to stay and help out you should definitely stay. Your family if obviously going througha difficult time and if you suspect they are in need of your help, or if they have come out and asked you to stay, then stay. If money is an issue, stay as long as you can then go back to work and make the trip every couple of weeks to check up on them.
2006-08-28 14:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by EMSchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can help sort through issues like the house and estate. Also, what are you leaving behind? Talk to your mom and seek her advice. Sometimes the gesture is more than enough. What a sweet and thoughtful idea! I hope goes well and I am sorry.
2006-08-28 14:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by dtc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should go focus on your own life...they can take care of themselves...you should get on and take care of yourself but if you feel the need to stay then stay...you know your family better then the people here so only you can make an informed right decision...so gud luck!
2006-08-28 14:42:59 · answer #10 · answered by sara ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that all depends on what you have going in your life right now.....work,,school....kids??? if you dont have anything else to do or you can take time off from work then go ahead and be there for your family. if you cant im sure your family will understand why you cant go. a phone call and telling them how much you love them should be good enough for them. do whatever you feel is right hon.
2006-08-28 14:39:11 · answer #11 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋