My invitation says "you're invited to a Marriage Celebration following a private ceremony". I assume this means I'm not invited to actually see my friend get married. Am I right in being a little miffed? Is it proper etiquette to get them a gift if I'm only invited to the reception?
2006-08-28 14:17:32 · 34 answers · asked by FlyingNutSquirrel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If he had bothered to invite me to the actual ceremony, then I would be happy to buy a gift. I'm not uptight, just unhappy that I wasn't invited.
2006-08-28 14:23:33 · update #1
It's a guy, btw. Everyone assumes it's a girl!
2006-08-28 14:24:26 · update #2
Wow, that was fast, thanks for all the replies. I think the card in the box with a gift certificate sounds like the best idea!
2006-08-28 14:26:09 · update #3
Yes, what they did is legit and proper. Many people get married in very tiny chapels and have only family present for the ceremony, or for other reasons want a tiny ceremony and large reception.
If they did it the other way around, and invited you to the ceremony but not the reception then THAT would be rude, because they would be being inhospitable.
Although you are disappointed, they may ahve had plenty of reasons for wanting to ahve a private ceremony. Just as an example-- some couples have a private ceremony at their grandmother's nursing home so they can include her b/c she can't travel, and only invite family for that, then they have a large reception with friends and family.
Wedding gifts are never mandatory. you can gift or not, as you wish.
2006-08-30 10:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married in less then three weeks and my invitations read the same thing. We are have an outdoor wedding and reception in our back yard. This is a second marriage for the both of us and we wanted it private and intimate with just the two of us and our children. We are getting married in the morning and our reception is in the afternoon. Some people hate going to the ceremony part. They think it is boring. We chose not to bore anyone and have them all have a great time at the reception.
2006-08-28 15:48:40 · answer #2 · answered by JAYNE C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be miffed. A lot of people do this if the ceremony site is very small, or if they really want a small, intimate ceremony but want to celebrate with a lot of people.
A gift is appropriate. The gift serves two purposes: (1) to help the newlyweds in the early stages of their marriage and (2) to supplement the costs that they are paying for you to eat and drink at the reception, not the ceremony. You should still bring a gift.
2006-08-28 15:07:41 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ABSOLUTELY you buy her a gift. How much do you think it costs to entertain and feed each guest at the reception? Mega. How much does it cost to seat you at the wedding..nothing..but MANY people these days want that to be an intimate and quiet ceremony and not up for entertainment and viewing by others - and I can understand that. The bottom line is she wants to celebrate after with her friends and family. Proper etiquette?..YES..you don't go to a wedding reception without a gift...and if you were at the wedding ceremony (or not) ..or even if you were invited to that (or not) means nothing at all..you WERE invited to a Wedding celebration/reception - and can't expect to go to that without a gift....geezzzzzzzzzzz.
2006-08-28 14:22:27 · answer #4 · answered by svmainus 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
your individuals are no longer acceptable. it is being invited to the reception that creates the criminal accountability. once you're close buddies of direction you would be wanting to deliver a latest, yet for all intents and applications once you're no longer close the present is "in exchange" for the nutrition, drink and leisure presented on the reception. yet another observe. You pronounced "deliver" a latest. you ought to have the present despatched to the couple's residing house earlier the reception. it would be an inconvenience for the bride and groom to ought to tussle with the presents on the reception and it is the usual etiquette. The present would not must be extensive. in view which you're fairly purely a corporation associate, something for the kitchen or a small crystal bowl or extreme-high quality vase from residing house products or TJ Maxx or something of that ilk might do as a result.
2016-10-01 00:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many venues for the ceremonies only hold a certain amount of people so couples are forced to cut the ceremony list. The reception areas can often hold more people. This couple obviously wants you there. They are paying for you to be there. Each couple must pay per person for their cake, and food. Consider it to be an honor. They have arranged a reception for the people that mean the most to them.
Yes it is polite to bring a gift. I would check their regestries and see where they are registered. Many people will put gift cards on there so that if you can't pick a certain item they can put the cards together to purchase the things they need to start off with.
Don't be upset.
2006-08-28 14:57:05 · answer #6 · answered by lakebridals 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've been invited to receptions rather than ceremonies. Many times the wedding is for family only. It doesn't mean that you're not important to the couple. Obviously, they want you to share in the celebration part.
If you go to the reception, you should take a gift.
2006-08-28 14:27:23 · answer #7 · answered by DanaElayne 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really wouldn't take it to heart!
If it's a private ceremony, it might just be family. I really wouldn't be too concerned about it. She put on the invitation 'private ceremony' so you'd know. . .Celebs do it all the time. They have a private ceremony then they have a big reception with friends and family.
Yes, you do need to get them a gift if you are going to the reception!!
If you are really concerned that your friend is giving you the short end of the stick, you can call her and say, 'Hey! I'm so excited for you what are your wedding plans--What are your flowers like, where are you having it..." and then she might give you more details about it. I mean you say she's your friend, so you should be able to talk to her!
2006-08-28 14:24:21 · answer #8 · answered by Mimi Kitty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wedding receptions have a box where you can throw a card in. You can give a card if you don't want to give a gift. I sometimes put in a gift certificate in the card if I don't buy a gift. I have never gone to a reception without giving a gift or card with a gift certificate unless I have already given a gift at the wedding/bridal shower. Don't show up empty handed, that would be thoughtless and selfish to do that.
2006-08-28 14:23:47 · answer #9 · answered by hello 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not considered proper etiquette to invite people just to the reception and not to the ceremony. I think its quite rude myself and would be upset. Technically you don't have to give a gift for it then. However if you consider yourself to be friends with the person or if you want to stay friends with the person after the wedding then you might want to give them a gift.
2006-08-28 14:59:12 · answer #10 · answered by newjerseygirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋