Gosh help me not hate my soon to be mother is law so much she is soooo nosey she can mot mind her own business and wants to come over uninvited what do I do I am still nice to her but I am getting overwhelmed and gonna explode
2006-08-28 14:08:11 · 18 answers · asked by tatum23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know your pain, trust me. I have an overbearing future m-i-l myself. Mine is nosey, mean, overbearing and judgemental and OBSESSED w/ her children (i swear she actually flirts w/ her sons sometimes, no joke). As far as what to do, it's a toughie. I've made my fiance aware of how I feel---but in some ways that has done more harm than good, and he gets defensive of her (unless of course she wrongs him rather than me).
You may explode one day(i did-hehe), so it is best to make your fiance aware of your feelings, but don't sound too accusatory and judgemental-- it is his mom after all.
I honestly don't know if your problem will ever go away...m-i-l have been hassling d-i-l for millenia, you are just going to find a happy medium...and hopefully one day she will respect your opinion enough to listen to what you have to say too.
2006-08-28 14:21:27 · answer #1 · answered by ♥austingirl♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live with this everyday. Dont bother involving your fiance, itll only put tension between you two. Im the type of person that I will let stuff go until im about to blow up and then I get extremely mad and blow up on people and they have no idea where its coming from. So....here is what you do... regardless of what she thinks or anyone else thinks.....sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel without blowing up. If you have to write it all down, write it down or you'll be like me and go blank when you sit down to talk to her. Dont let her intimidate you or let her know that she does(if she does). Just be to the point as possble. Sooner or later you will get her respect. If it doesnt work out that way, just lay into her however you want to and let the stress relieve itself. Sometimes mother-in-laws deserve it. As do ours!
2006-08-28 14:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by ogsr2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Join the club darling!!! I am getting married next month and know exactly what you are going through! Try and just focus on your wedding for now. Stand up for your self and don't sweeat the small stuff.
2006-08-28 14:41:18 · answer #3 · answered by Happily Married 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and for most, your fiancee should be told how you feel. If he is not willing to stand up to his mother, its a big sign of future problems. This will not get better if its not dealt with. And to avoid problems between you and her, HE needs to discuss the boundries with her. Make sure you tell both of them how much you really do value her. Be polite but firm. If she asks questions, you prefer not to discuss, tell her you prefer not to discuss it. That you are a rather private person, and even though you love her as your mother in-law, there are still things that your not comfortable with. As for her coming over, flat out tell her that you would love to have her over, but that you really would like to plan her visits. That even though shes family, you would like to know when shes coming over, that way your prepared to be able to spend more time together.
Personally, I found that inviting my mother in-law to do things with me helped A LOT. When she spent one on one time with me, she felt included. If you include her in your life, and invite her, shes less likely to feel your "stealing her baby away". I found part of the nosy, overbearingness is trying to maintain control over his life. If she still feels like shes a valued part of his life, and that you want her to be part of yours, she may feel a lot more comfortable.
Good luck. And remember the longer your silent the worse it will get.
2006-08-28 14:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by beachbebe_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to ur soon to be husband and try to talk things out before u are married once u are married this may cause whole lot of more trouble for u...and if that doesnt work u can always move far far away... lol
2006-08-28 17:01:21 · answer #5 · answered by sugarbaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Gawd... so did I.. and no, it is not too soon..,. all those mother-in-law jokes that men tell all the time?? hahahha. 9 times out of 10, it is the mans mom causing the problems.. not the woman's..haha Women raise their daughters to take care of life... I told my son to look out.. his wife will be in trouble,.. I will be one of those... but my daughter??? she will be able to handle things.. It is a mother son thing.. look out.. it happens to us all.. and if you have a son, it will happen to you too.. :)
2006-08-28 14:43:34 · answer #6 · answered by tootsie45414 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What does ur fiance think about her showing up unexpectedly cos that will determine a lot about your being and staying married.
2006-08-28 14:16:44 · answer #7 · answered by beezebee25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible to talk to your soon to be husband about this? If you don't, and you wait till after the wedding, you are stuuuuuuck.. and that's not the place to be..
Or, possibly to your soon to be father in law?
or, your priest, minister, rabbi? somebody?
Do it BEFORE the wedding..
2006-08-28 14:14:49 · answer #8 · answered by chuckufarley2a 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck - watch Doctor Phil - they have people on there all the time with your type of problem.
2006-08-28 14:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother in laws should be illegal,
ARE YOU WITH ME!!!!!!
just vote up or down
Thanx.
2006-08-28 14:15:47 · answer #10 · answered by Tammy848 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋