Strong feelings to commit suicide...what to do besides counseling?

Question

I really want to commit suicide. I don't want to hear about how selfish or "emo" I sound. Don't you think I know this? That is what is keeping me from taking the final steps. I just don't know what to do anymore. I figure that the depression will lead to suicide sooner or later. Might as well get it over with. I'm just really frustrated with life. I have an eating disorder that just won't go away. I'm lonely. My days revolve around apathy. I don't know how to be happy anymore. I don't care about classes. I don't want to try. Nothing in life appeals to me. I want so badly to care about school, but I can never focus. I really want to kill myself more than anything. I can't tell my psychologist this. She's part of the university counseling center. I had to take a semester off for bulimia, and I know missing more school won't help. She'll probably recommend time off if she knew how serious I was. I have a plan. What can I do besides counseling to get rid of this?

Answer 1

Depression and bulimia is serious please tell your counselor he or she can put you on antidepressants that will knit the part of your brain that is causing these thoughts to go away and you will start to think in a positive manner,i realize how difficult it is to feel the way you do but you MUST get help don't fool around and keep these thoughts to yourself life is too short to try and end it,there are also places where you can live to help with the bulimic,e-mail me if you need to talk to someone and i will do my best to help you but please talk to your counselor right away.

Answer 2

You poor kid - (sorry, but I'm realllllly old :) I have been suicidal since I was a child. Every crisis (and there's always another one) makes me hate life. What finally turned me around was thinking of the poor person who would find my corpse. I couldn't do that to another person. Relax about school. How can you do well when you're feeling like this? Maybe cut back on some classes? Since you know that what you're feeling is so way out of line to your problems, you're ill. You need to talk to your doctor or councilor ASAP. What is causing the bulimia and depression? The two together suggest you may have bigger problems (maybe from your past?) that you're not dealing with. Also, you should have a psychologist that you have more confidence in. You should be able to talk to them freely if they're going to do any good. I know that it seems like nothing is worth the effort, but if not for yourself, then for the ones who care about you, reach out for the help that is there. We're all here for a reason, even if that reason is not clear. Please value yourself enough to take care of yourself. You're the only self you've got, right? :) As you can see from the response, there are many caring people in the world and I'm sure that once you feel better, you will be one too. God bless and keep you, sweetheart. Be good to yourself.

Answer 3

First, I think you should see a doctor about this. I have no formal training and am writing only as an individual interested in your wellbeing.

Suicidal feelings are based on inaccurate perceptions of reality. For example, you feel that people hate you and you are worthless, when in fact they do not hate you at all. Write down all the reasons why you want to commit suicide and then systematically refute them through an objective review of factual information. If you would like examples, templates, and a framework to work from, read "Feeling Good" by Dr. David D. Burns from the U. of PA. Again, this should not be a substitute for professional advice.

I think it is a positive sign that you have joined Y/A and are participating actively. Also that you have a profession, goals and plans that are thoughtful and compassionate, and that you are seeking answers through religious activities. Please feel free to contact me through Y/A at any time and consider me your friend. Best of luck to you.

Answer 4

Never underestimate the love your family and friends have for you. Since you are seeing a psycologist, PLEASE let them know how you feel. That's why they get paid the big bucks. The doctor can give you something for depression. You would be amazed at how well an anti depressant can help you. Since you've taken the first step in admitting your desire to commit suicide, I would talk to someone, anyone. A pastor at a church, a friend. Anyone you can confide in. Your life is worth so much. One more thing. If you have never given your life to Jesus Christ, now is the time. He will always be someone that you can talk to. He understands and loves you no matter what. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He hears you when you call upon Him. God Bless.

Answer 5

Suicide is not the way to go. I have tried many times over the years. I am still here only due to the intervention of others. If you are truly thinking these dark thoughts and will not go to counseling, then the best thing you can do is just talk, and keep talking, talk until you come out the other side.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

If you don't care about anything, why are you hesitant about telling your psychologist and getting more time off school?? Regardless, it's the best thing to do. I mean, she or he knows you and your history and will be in the best position to help. If it means a little time off school, so what?? Maybe that's what you need. People who are experiencing overwhelming feelings like you are, I mean, do you think they have the objectively to really know what is best for them?? No. And I don't think you do either. I mean, you're looking at suicide as a viable option here. Bite the bullet man. TELL your psychologist. Imagine enjoying school and life in general sooner than later??

Answer 7

Hello Verlaine. I know how you feel. We've all felt that way before.

The feeling is not unnatural. Acting on those feeling would be.

I know you don't wanna talk to anyone about it. But it might help if you told someone who doesn't judge you. Over email perhaps, to the lots of good people in here who care about you, even though we're complete strangers.

Trust me, this feeling will go away. It won't go away now. It might not be gone even for a few days or weeks. But it will go away eventually. Patience, no matter how hard it is is your best option.

Answer 8

If you don't feel like you can talk with your therapist about this, then perhaps you need a new therapist who you feel more comfortable with. I would recommend finding an eating disorders specialist (see link below). If you are having such strong urges, and you have a plan, call 1-800-suicide and talk it out with a trained crisis counselor. Or, as you know, call 911 or take yourself to the ER!

It just strikes me as odd that you don't feel you can talk with your therapist about this. You deserve to be working with someone who you trust; who cares about you. You CAN get better.

Hang in there.

Answer 9

Buy a motorcycle. Seriously, it's kind of like the feeling you got when you were a kid riding your bike down the street. Not a care in the world. You almost feel like you're flying. And if your serious about killing yourself, buy a fast motorcycle and don't wear a helmet. These things tend to work themselves out when you're happy, so just do whatever you want to, when you want to, and sooner or later you'll find something you like that challenges you and you enjoy. Go bungee jumping. Do something dangerous. Go whitewater rafting. Think about it like one of those "You have 24 hours to live, what would you do?" questions. And just do it. If you're planning on killing yourself anyway, what have you got to lose? And you might just decide to stick around a while and try more stuff.

Answer 10

This may sound simplistic, but I discovered that life does get better as you get older (or maybe I just learned to cope with it better). Why not stay alive just to see what happens next?

I used to be kind of depressed and feel sorry for myself when I was younger, but as I got older and began to accomplish some things with my career and gain more control over my life, I began to enjoy life more.

Obviously, counseling and/or a support group (does not have to be a formal group-- just friends) will help.

Also, make yourself busy by trying different things. Keeping busy will get your mind off your problems and it will give you a sense of accomplishment to do something like rock climbing, for example.

There are many student groups that have activities to participate in, and they can be a good source of new friends. I noted that you mentioned CCC in one of your other questions. Why not give CCC or Intervarsity Christian Fellowship a try? It sounds like that you have nothing really to lose.