Been together for almost 3 months, she is 21 and has a little boy.
Basically, her kid is driving me nuts. At first he wasnt really in the picture, but now he is around all the time. Im not ready to be a dad. She is the greatest, but she can never leave her son. So this will always be a problem......im a "nice guy" but now i feel like a jerk by thinking this way.
2006-08-28 13:40:58 · 26 answers · asked by cesarsauce 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Did you ever think of just being honest with her? It works and you may gain a very good friend.
2006-08-28 13:43:48 · answer #1 · answered by Lil_Red_Bird 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you just said,
At first he wasnt really in the picture, but now he is around all the time. Im not ready to be a dad. She is the greatest, but she can never leave her son. So this will always be a problem
Sounds good to me
By the way.... what's her number?
2006-08-28 20:44:25 · answer #2 · answered by troyboy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with her. Tell her you like her alot as a person, but that it just isn't working between the two of you. Offer to be her friend, if you want - and then if you do follow through on that when you have both had enough space to heal. Don't just leave her in the lurch by not returning her calls - if you think you feel badly now, you'll feel a hundred times worse when you see her then. She may be hurt, but she can't honestly blame you for not being ready to be a dad. Look at it this way - you know your own limitations, and you arent wasting her time. Tell her she's a beautiful person and that you dont want to waste her time.
2006-08-28 20:47:02 · answer #3 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I will tell you that I am dating a guy for a little over a year and I have a child. We are dating seriously but I do not have her in the picture that often because I do not want to confuse my child. Anyway I have told him from the start that my child and I are a package deal so without her there is no me. Its hard because he did not know if he wanted to have children but he seems to understand that I would not ever leave her. So if you are unable to deal with the situation, you should leave now before feelings get any stronger and it is harder to leave, because if she is a good mom she will put her child first, which of course you would expect her to. If you are a "nice guy" she will know this, and respect the fact that you are telling her how you feel and that you are looking out for the interest of yourself as well as her child.
2006-08-28 21:03:47 · answer #4 · answered by ny_girl11229 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck were you doing messing with a woman with a kid if you're not ready to be a dad? What kind of jerk are you? Do you know what that kind of B.S. does to little boys?
Of course you're the bad guy, but that boy deserves better than to spend more time with you! Break it off quickly and get out of their lives. It doesn't matter WHAT you do now, you're gonna look like a jerk.
2006-08-28 20:45:37 · answer #5 · answered by Privratnik 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well first of all coming from experience walking into a relationship with extra baggage is not always easy. To help you out and not be the bad guy be honest with the situation. Let her know that its not as easy as you thought being with someone that has a kid, but remember its not her fault. Also let her know that you have nothing against her or her baby but its alot to take on when your so young. It may not sound good but honesty is the key in this situation and makes you look better in the long run.
2006-08-28 20:46:56 · answer #6 · answered by tranz4mation 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel like a jerk. The sooner you break up, the sooner she can meet someone who doesn't mind the kid.
If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't want to go out with someone who has a kid, either.
I don't understand why the other people on here think you are the "bad guy" for leaving her. It's not like having a kid is a minor personality quirk. It's a major situation, and no one should expect you to want to be involved with someone else's kid. There are PLENTY of women out there who are single with no kids. It's too bad I'm too old for you...
2006-08-28 20:45:39 · answer #7 · answered by mollyneville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were not told of the boy?
If you were not aware, you may have a case for leaving.
If she was upfront about him, then it may be your sense of honor that is disturbing you.
I think good women are hard to come by, and you may end up resenting the kid if you stay around just for the girl. That may not be fair to the kid, who has a stronger claim to the mother.
2006-08-28 20:57:07 · answer #8 · answered by Horndog 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either way you will more than likely come off as a jerk sorry i had to say that, but the longer you keep you feelings to yourself about this the worse it will be. sit her down and tell her how you feel no matter how hard it is to do. and you guys haven't been together all that long so you have that working for you. i hope things work out for you and good luck!
2006-08-28 20:45:55 · answer #9 · answered by ?Cheshire Cat? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its okay to be honest. If youre not ready for kids youre not ready for kids. In order for a relationship to work both participants have to be happy, comfortable and in it with all their heart. Your not a jerk you just know what you want.
2006-08-28 20:45:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well i would say tell her the exact reason, but honestly, if i had a kid and some guy told me he was dumping me because of my kid, i'd be really upset. you even hear the horror stories about women who kill their kids because they dont want the baggage....
if she's the greatest then you'd have to accept that you're going to be a dad.
if you're wanting to honestly break up with a great woman because she has a kid, well, good luck with that. thats pretty mean.
2006-08-28 20:45:35 · answer #11 · answered by tanja_berengue 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋