Does being a teenager ever get any better?

Question

Being a teenager sucks big time. My parents (stepdad, actually) won't stop yelling at me about everything! At night, after I've been outside and I'm smelly and sweaty, my stepdad always complains about me smelling, but if I take a bath, I'm wasting water...nothing can please him at all(andthat's just on example). I make good grades, and my teachers are fair, but the kids at school are really mean. I'm dying here! In addition to all of that, my stepdad is catholic and I'm Jewish and I don't think he really respects my religion because every time I make references to it, he rolls his eyes. Also, I'm a writer, and I used to go around and say that I wanted to be published by the time I was 13, and my stepdad would roll his eyes, and now that I do have a short story that I got published in a magazine back in january, 2 weeks before my 13th b-day, my mom claims he's really proud of me. Yeah... right. I want to have a relationship with him, but its really hard because he won't listen

It's really hard to talk to him because everytime I do, he always interrupts me or ignores me. I really want to have a relationship with him, but its hard because he won't stop yelling

Answer 1

first of all quit whining. it's hard being a teenager, i know this. i went through this. i hated my stepdad too. being a teenager does get better.....once you've finally turned 25 and realize you'd be a teen again in a heartbeat. best thing to do is be you. i know acceptance is the only thing that matters when you are this age. but, you'll eventually see that it's not all that matters. enjoy it while it lasts.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that. It sounds like your stepdad is not a good father figure. Keep in mind he may just not know how to interact and/or talk with you, too. Unfortunately, some adults can't relate to younger people. Your mom doesn't seem to get involved, either. Maybe your stepdad subconsciously thinks your mom doesn't have enough love for the both of you.
Anyway, it will get better. Eventually, your body will level out, chemically. Get some deodorant and use soap. Drink lots of water, and keep writing. You can get a scholarship if you try and then move away and go to college. You can have any real fun until you're an adult anyway, so you may as well plan for it now! Plus it'll keep your stepdad off your back! Good luck!

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you honey. I'd really like to know where your mother is while all this yelling is going on? She is the one who needs to be taking more of a stand so the burden isn't put on your shoulders. You should try talking to her about this first. And if you have, then use your gift of writing and write the dear old step dad a heartfelt letter. He can't really interrupt what you need to say if you put it onto paper.

And last but not least, don't blame yourself for this. Some parents are just incapable of compassion towards children. Your stepdad seems to have a problem allowing you to express yourself, and when you do, if he doesn't agree with it, it's not good enough for him. Don't continue to go on in life trying to please someone who can't be pleased. It'll wear you down, have you questioning everything you believe in, and soon enough, he'll have you convinced that you aren't good enough, when in fact, it sounds like you are a really great kid. Do yourself a favor and talk to your mom, if she can't help, write him the letter, and if that solves nothing, then I'm afraid you'll just have to be patient...you won't stay a teenager forever!

I wish you the best of luck....don't stop writing and don't give up on your dreams!

Answer 4

First of all to answer you YES it gets better. My Dad died and man did that suck! so yea, at times I felt the same as you nothing was right, but all the sudden I was about 16 and it all just came together, I was starting to be respected by everyone and I was actually looked up too by some, because I made my mind up about not WHO I respected, but WHAT i respected about people. If they didnt make the grade= no respect from me or relationship. I had made it though a tough time and it made me stronger and I knew exactly what I wanted to be like when I got older. Stop trying to have a relationship with step parent that yells, because you don't respect people that yell at you- NO MATTER WHO they are. It's time for you to chill and let things roll off you and don't offer your willingness to have a relationship back automatically. And someday if asked whats your problem? TELL HIM, "you yell to communicate and I realized don't respect people that yell especially at me". He needs to end that yelling or you will never respect him and never have a relationship, because all relationships are base upon respect first-same with your own Mother tell her like it is. they will come around or you will go further away and if that happens, oh well life goes on and that too will pass...good luck!

Answer 5

Talk to your mom, and take showers even if you are wasting water. It doesn't matter if you and your step dad have different religions make sure you tell your mom this about what he does when you say things that relate religion he isn't respecting it and even if you and him are completely different I'm sure you'll get along. by the way I admire you for publishing before age 13 that's really cool that you are writing. I can't really tell you if being a teenager gets better, I'm still a teenager. good luck with your relationship with your step dad!

Answer 6

Well. Being a teenager does suck. I know how you feel. But your life will get better. You should talk to your stepdad...it doesn't seem as though he's respecting you. But life gets better as you go along...I mean...you get to go to the school dances, fall in love, get a car...all that jazz. But maybe your stepdad is just under a real big load of stress right now. Maybe not. I feel bad for you. Let me know if things get any better ok?

[e-mail]

Answer 7

I suggest showing your Mom what you've just written and explain to her how hard you're trying to get along with your step-father. My father in law is always fussing about something like someone putting something away in weird place or someone not being responsible but that's just kind of how he is. Perhaps your stepfather is just a grump, to test this theory watch how he deals with other people. If he's grumpy with everyone or cold to others but grumpy to you then at least you know that it's not just you.

It will get better for you as a teenager and congratulations on being a published writer.

Answer 8

The truth is it sounds like to me your step-father is under a lot of stress. I'm guessing he might be sole provider. If he is, you need to make it your number one priority to help him. See if there is something you might do to take some of the burden from his shoulders even if it's chores around the house like taking out the garbage or mowing the lawn. Relationships are more than religion or career goals. They are made up of mutual respect and admiriation. Tell him you see what he does for you and your Mom and that you appreciate it. Over and over ask, "what can I do to help?" And eventually, he'll HEAR your love in your actions.

Answer 9

You're a writer, try writing a story about the relationship you'd LIKE to have with him. (Keep it all positive.) Then make sure your Mom "accidentally" finds it and shows it to him. Really open up your heart about needing a dad, and how you'd give anything to know how to get closer to him, etc, etc... In other words bear your heart. You can only try. If it doesn't work, and your relationship is just as strained as before, try to get mentoring from your rabbi. You need a dad at this stage in your life. Too bad for your step-dad if he doesn't make the effort to meet you halfway.

Answer 10

Try talking about that with him. Being a teen does get better but it takes a while to figure out everything that's going on before you really understand it. I had the worst time with my parents as a teen but I'm through with that now. Sometimes you just can't get through to them but try not to let that bring you down. Good luck