I really love this guy and I know he loves me but for the past 2 months things just got really bad between us and we decided that we would pull back from the relationship...take a "break" ...still stay friends but remain having sex because it's THE BEST EVER for the both of us. But I just don't know if I can handle the whole thing. I still want the relationship ( haven't told him that though) and don't know what to do....?????????????
2006-08-28 12:39:54 · 23 answers · asked by niecieanne 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When things like this happen, one person will always feel like they want the relationship to continue and find themselves still attached emotionally.
For that reason, I do not recommend things like this as they always result in heartbreak on a much larger scale than before.
Either get back together or put a rest to the relationship on the whole. If you decide to get back together later, then, great! But I do think you should stop having sex for now, until you've decided what you want.
2006-08-28 12:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one, changing a relationship in midstream.
And lets face it, having sex, is an emotional fact of life for women. Not so much for the men.
If you feel, that you can't handle it, and you know this better than anyone else. then I would suggest, that you break cleanly, without the sex.
Maybe see some other people, try new things.
Even if the sex, were the Best Ever, and we all hate to lose that, when we find it, your feelings have to come first.
Try a clean break for a month or two, and see if you can handle, missing, him and the great sex. You will have a better idea, how you will feel then.
2006-08-28 12:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by johnb693 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You realize that you haven't really moved on don't you? You are clinging to the possibility of a relationship by continuing in this manner. You have a couple of options:
One, you can admit that you aren't really taking a break, just in a transition time and continue on. Anytime you have sex with somebody it changes the relationship forever. You really can't emotionally go back to "just friends."
Second, you can really step back and not see eachother and see how that goes. You can date other people and see if you really are meant for eachother or if it was just a phase.
Thirdly, you can just give up and work your way through this tough spot in the relationship. Every relationship has bumps and bruises, you just have to communicate and work it out! Get some professional relationship help and make a commitment!
Good luck
2006-08-28 12:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by Lost M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you advise, i'm not a looker? i do not realize the time period so hence can not figure out why it bothers him. Why do you stay along with your mothers and fathers? can not you come across a job and flow out? Why do not you've any friends? Do you attain out and make contact with human beings or do you cover away through your self and bemoan that you're lonely? You element out that you're in undesirable structure in very nearly each portion of your existence, yet then you truthfully resent that he's continuously correcting you. sounds like you want the criticism, yet not in a merciless way, yet constructively. he's not fortunate. he's difficult operating and pushed to achieve more effective places than the position he at present is. it really is sweet. do not placed him on a pedestal. he's not any extra of a God than you or i'm. you could study from him, even with the undeniable fact that. seem heavily on the failings that he does that you respect and attempt to reproduction him. Your melancholy is out of control. Please see a well being care service about receiving counseling, ideally one-on-one to commence with, then flow to team treatment later. you could also attempt cognitive behavioral treatment because you extremely favor to fix the way you imagine. you've were given to develop into the guy you defined on your P. S. really of the guy you describe on your formerly paragraphs. some drugs could help.
2016-12-05 20:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that this setup could be ok, except for one thing...you're still in love with him!! You can't have a friends with benefits relationship with someone you love without getting your heart ripped into a million pieces. Trust me on this one...I've tried. If you didn't love him, I would say go for it, but as it is, you have to talk. You either need to figure out a way to make your relationship work, or you need to get out before this thing completely destroys you. I hope everything works out well for you in the end. Good luck!
2006-08-28 12:46:23 · answer #5 · answered by Nicole 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, because you say you still want the relationship and he doesn't. This means you see the sex differently than he does and you're likely to get hurt. At least, talk to him about it and get it all in the open-- if he still doesn't want the relationship and you do, you'll feel used. In that case, break it off clean and move on!
2006-08-28 12:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by shrinkydinkheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a terrible situation.
I feel like casual sex is okay if you don't really know the person all that well, and if you aren't interested in a relationship. Sex will only complicate things more and raise expectations that he will probably not meet.
2006-08-28 12:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by Cammie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad idea, because in the back of your mind you still want the relship to work. And please, u know how girls are- we could never have s*x and not feel anything- we ALWAYS get attached to the guy IF we do it frequently w/ the same person. And you already ARE attached to him anyways.
It's a bad idea- you shouldn't do it unless your feelings for him is gone.
2006-08-28 12:45:08 · answer #8 · answered by Bobbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to be friends with benefits, you need to do just that: be friends. If you're wanting more, you could end up with a broken heart. You should make him aware of your feelings, so that later on, he doesn't feel betrayed, and you don't feel suffocated by your true emotions. Good luck
2006-08-28 12:44:08 · answer #9 · answered by BarelyMakingItBy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you fill but first stop every thing between you both all together and if he fills the same way about you then every thing will work out and you will care more about other things than just sex
2006-08-28 12:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by stellajohnluther 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋