How can I deal my step-dad?

Question

My step-dad came into my life about four years ago, when I was nine. At first, I thought he was cool because I never had a strong male figure in my life. He thought it was cool, too because he never had kids before. But then I got older, went through a growth spurt, and now he can't stop yelling at me. Sometimes, he's cool, but a lot of the times, he's yelling at me. Whenever I try to talk to him about it, he always interupts me and says things like " I buy you things, I take you places." But things can't buy love. My mom says he loves me, but I will never know because of the words he says, and the words he doesn't say. I have to live him every day and, it kills me because I want to have that relationship I missed out on for so many years

The things my step-dad yells at me about are really stupid, too. He can't care less if I'm flunking out of eigth grade (I make staright A's, but he'll never know that). He's more conserned if my room's clean, and if I'm chewing with my mouths closed

My real dad has similiar behavior to step-dad, and I don't like him at all. My step-dad picks at me about a lot of things, like sitting on the couch when he doesn't want me to, or staying up a minute past my bedtime, which he only wants me to go to bed so I'll be out of the way.

Answer 1

My stepfather was like that always yelling at me when I did anything wrong it was always your grounded..After awhile I gave up trying to care. When it was just him and I homeI would go outside or watch a movie..listen to nusic in my room. Such things to keep me out of his way..It seemed like he liked more when I wasnt around.
There is really noway to make someone love you, but also know that just because he acts like that doesnt mean he does not care. It means he feels that there is a reason to. Maybe to protect you so you dont get hurt.
Point is My stepfather and I get along great now. Talk alot and I have come to respect him alot. It takes time but he will come around. Best of luck!

Answer 2

I am a step-mum and also a daughter to a step-mum. Now i don't know why your step-dad is shouting at you, what you believe to be stupid things might actually mean a lot to him.
When i was young my step-mum shouted at me for exactly the same things; chewing with my mouth opened and keeping a tidy room, and as I've grown up (I'm nearly 30 now) I've realised that these little things really are a big deal.
If you're a straight A student, then you should already know some manners such as chewing with your mouth closed, does everyone in the room really need to see what you're eating, and it doesn't matter if you are at home or in a resturant, if you have good manners people will judge you diffrently than if you're slobby and ill mannered, and you should realise that a tidy room is a much better environment to live in.

His argument of "i buy you things and i take you places" is very lame i have to admit, but what else can he say to you? Maybe he feels now that you're 13 that you don't respect him, you're turning into a grown up yourself and maybe he just needs to know that you do appreciate all the things that he does for you.
I know it's difficult to understand these things, but it's true to say that grown ups are as screwed up as teenagers! If he doesn't listen to you when you try to talk to him, maybe try to write him or your mum a letter explaining how you feel, if it's written down he can't interrupt you.

I hope this helps a little bit, and i know it's crappy being 13, but trust me everything will get better!

Answer 3

I am a step parent and I HATE it when anyone chews with their mouth open it drives me batty but I am not trying to excuse his yelling but you do need to break that nasty habit and clean up your room. Try some nice little things, like bringing him a cup of coffee and little stuff, it sounds to me like he is feeling unappreciated and maybe if you just show a little appreciation he would too. I would talk to your mom privately and ask her for help in what you should do to help things be better and just tell her how it makes you feel to be yelled at and maybe you can work out a deal where step dad writes down what he wants instead so he is not yelling or goes through mom, and has her convey the message, or have mom help you sit down with step dad and work it out. It does sound to me like he feels very unappreciated. Good Luck.

Answer 4

It's really tough sometimes especially with step-parents. Is your step-dad going through some hard times or how is the marriage? You should really talk to him or your mom and if you don't feel comfortable try writing a letter and then discussing it with the both of them. You need to talk to him and let him know what he is doing is hurting not just your feelings but also your relationship. If that doesn't work try going to your school counselor or a trusted friend and talking out your feelings! Parents are not perfect and sometimes their life and their problems gets in the way of their attitude towards you and the rest of the family. Good Luck!

Answer 5

if your mummy tells you that he really loves you then he dose
i know that he is not your biological father but what if he acted the same and he was ? would you doubt his love i am sure you wouldn't

Fathers are like that hard to deal with a bit when they get older and you get older too try to have a talk with him and your mummy and tell him what you think and be open for what he has to say you can never know !

hope it works out for you and wishing you all the luck !

don't be oversensitve angel some ppl are just like that don't have patients and stuff ! i know its not easy to be so !
tell you some thing try to talk to your mum about it , and see what she got to say may be she can talk to him ! like it was from her and nothing got to do with you, what you think ? do you have a good relationship with your mummy ? coz that can help a lot

Answer 6

Maybe calmly ask your mom to arrange a date and time for the two of you to go out on a 'daddy-daughter' type date so you can talk abuot what you're talking abuot, but also set it aside as time for YOU to decide what your going to do to help the situation with your step dad.

And if that doesn't work...
I wish ya luck.