!daughter won't talk to me....!?

Question

My daughter refuses to talk to me.
she is upset with me because I stuck with a hard marriage, making her life hard also.
My DH and I get along very well now, but she is older now. and has children of her own.
She still thinks I shoud just up and leave my husband...
How can I convince her that I do not want to do that, I am fine, we get along well now.
Sad Mom in rhode island.

Answer 1

if you have explained the situation to her, its up to her to accept it or not. she may also have to come to grips that its your relationship and not hers. i say just give her time.

Answer 2

IF u have decide to leave him on ON YOUR OWN then the next thing u need is a plan.

Here are some ? 4u.
Who will leave the house?

If it is u, where will u live?

Do you have enough money to survive?

Most of all are you ready to leave? Are u ready for a divorce?

If you are just leaving because u are having hard times then u should really rethink leaving.

There could be a thousand reasons why u should leave, I don't know any of them.

But if it major like, violence, abuse of any kind, and u still love him then work on your marriage.

U love your daugther, but she is living her life the why she wants 2, because it is her life 2 do as she please.

Let things cool down for a sec and talk to her and let her know how much u love her but u have to live your life 4 u. U have to make yourself happy. Maybe u can have a friend or relative their to help u explain your feelings.

I may not be right in this matter for I don't no the whole story, but that was a small piece of info 2 help.

Answer 3

My parents are still married......I'm an adult with children of my own and watched my parents go through many years of a hard marriage......which is still kinda hard, but will not end at this point. There were many times I wanted them to split up to be happy. I prayed each day that they would find happiness either together or apart. I was too emotionally involved in their marriage.
After I got married myself, I taught myself that their problems were their problems. I also asked my mother not to confide in me about what went on, even though we are good "friends". It effected me too much cause I love them both and couldn't take sides. Learning to step out of the situation was hard but absolutely necessary.
In the end, it's hard to be the daughter when your parents are having a hard time. We want our parents to be happy and dont' know how to detach. She shouldn't be ignoring you because of something you choose in your life. Tell her that you wouldn't do that to her, so she has no right to do the same thing. You did say, "your husband" and not "her father"....so I realize this man may not be her dad, and maybe that's why she wants you to leave. Either way.......remind her that you are an adult and have the right to make choices. Try not to let your relationship effect her, dont' share details with her and upset her. REmind her that you wouldn't try to run her life either.......but let her know you understand why she's upset.

Answer 4

A "hard" marriage isn't saying much about the relationship. If your husband was physically or verbally abusive to you in the presence of your daughter then she was victimized as well. She's hurt & sees you siding with him by remaining. She has the right to want nothing to do with a dysfunctional family situation and it is probably very painful to see that you are still together.If the two of you are willing, family counseling can help.

Answer 5

I'm sorry about the problem between you & your daughter. Sounds like she still has some growing up to do. But- she's entitled to her opinion, and now that she's grown up & gone- she can choose who SHE likes-& why. There's really nothing YOU can do to "make" her change her mind... Just leave her alone; let her come to YOU eventually- & get on with your OWN life. You both need to respect each others choices- even if you don't agree with them.

Answer 6

I haven't spoke with my mother for 11 months. She has has a narcissistic personality, I always came last to her. She loves conflict and I always tried to have a better life. She did not raise me, she left my dad when I was 8 for another man when he got sick. My dad did the best he could for several years, when I was 15 I moved in with her. He let my stepfather verbally abuse me and ignored many things during the years including sexual abuse. I moved in and out several times, i had severe emotional problems due to the way my family treated me. My emotional problems were strictly ornamental....

My mother has not contact me since I hung up on her, a few yours before they were going to induce my labor she made everything about her. Talked about what my brother was doing.. I haven't spoke with him in years and really could care less.
My point??? Reach out to your daughter, tell her how much you love her and want to be apart of her life. Start sending cards on her birthday your grandchildren's birthday. Make it personal... My mom sent my daughter presents on Christmas... I was insulted because she never really tried to reach out... A another brother brought them over from Santa...

Just try to show that you really do care and explain to her you are doing what is best for you...


Good luck

Answer 7

I think this is to personal...but I am going to try to help : D I think that you need to explain to her how much yall care about each other (you and your husband) then get him to take her out on a father daughter day!