Is this relationship worth continuing?

Question

This guy and I have been dating for 3 mos. However, I've noticed that his affections that he shows for me has siginificantly decreased in the past month and a half. He has told me that he is not a PDA kind of guy from the beginning, but when the Private Display of Affection isn't there, it worries me. I am an independent woman, and he knows that, and respects it, but it almost feels as though he is giving me too much space. We go play tennis(common hobby) all the time, but when I ask if he wants to hang out afterward, he usually says no. We hang out a lot on weekends and have sex regularly, but he is never there for me during the week after work. He is 26 and I am 22. His previous relationship was a long distance one (for 2 years), so i'm wondering if it's that he's used to being alone but in a relationship at the same time. I know he isn't dating other women, but we haven't had the DTR talk yet. Is he losing interest me? If so, should I even bother continuing with this?

Not to justify, but let me also put in some details that I left out... we work together in the same department, so I see him everyday at work. He is working on his Ph.D. and is under a lot of pressure. We have great conversations, and he doesn't treat me like a friend with benefit (I know because I've been in that situation before), but more like a boyfriend who is getting so comfortable in the relationship that he feels like he doesn't have to put in a lot of effort.

Answer 1

Only you can really answer this question. It would appear that his background would explain some of his (lack of) behaviour. At the end of the day, do you want to continue it? If the answer is 'yes', but with some caveats, then you need to discuss them with him. If not, then you've answered your question.
Share what you want from the relationship, and you may be able to come to some common ground. If he's not bothered (as you suggest) you may not, however, want to become any more invested in the relationship that you are already.
Have a good think and talk it through...

Answer 2

Sounds like he is losing interest, possibly keeping you on the side for what it's worth til he finds someone better. Or, could be he already has someone on the side for the weekdays, after work. If you know definitively he isn't seeing anyone else, then I'd say he just isn't interested in you anymore, and can "take it or leave it." You can either end it, and move on, or take the "take it or leave it" position also, and keep it til you find someone else. But if I were you I would not close myself off to other options, since it sounds like this one isn't much of a keeper. But the best thing to do -- have an honest talk with him. If he doesn't want to talk about it, or makes up stuff that is obvious lies, then move on.

Answer 3

If you get along well with him, I'd say, change the status of your relationship, to one of Friend, rather than boyfriend.
You need someone, who will meet your emotional needs better.
What you are now, if you ask me, and I guess you did, you are friends with benefits, and nothing more.
Seems that you are ready for something more, and he isn't willing to give you, what you need.
I'd say, time to move on. It's not worth your time, it's going nowhere, right now.

Answer 4

He is getting all a man wants, maybe you are giving him too much... I didnt see the word love in the whole question, maybe thats all you need to make the relationship and im affraid thats something you cant force. Hopefully im mistaking... You should try talking to him with as much honesty as possible, instead of asking that question here ASK HIM! you'll get way better results ^^ Good luck
oh and I also play tennis ;) lol

Answer 5

If you have to ask, then it's not worth continuing. Give him a chance to explain his feelings and change of behavior then if you are satisfied with the response then stay, if not, leave.

Answer 6

Hey, the guy has something else going on during the week: a wife, a girlfriend, a BOYfriend? Something he doesn't want to share with you. Use him as a tennis partner if you must, but dump the sex with him. He's using you, honey, and playing tennis to justify it. It ain't goin' no where. Godloveya!

Answer 7

Well it is a mixed awnsered type of question. you might just be his **** buddy, but on the other hand alot of guys have trouble showing affection. And if he kept a long distance realtion ship that means her can care for people but he does not like being around people that much, he still likes his own time, the alone time. I think you should have a talk with him, he might not know your needs or you feel left out.

Answer 8

it's going to be a tough decision. if you continue, then he'll just keep doing the things he's doing. if you leave,then it wont be of your concern anymore. if he really did care as much as you say he might, he should've respected that you dont like it. unless you can find a way to make him willingly stop, it might be time you split with him. i hope all goes well ~

Answer 9

Dont give up so soon just give it time. say a prayer and ask Gofd to lend you a hand in this problem and who knows your guy may just needs time to open up besides its only been 3 mos. Please give it time this could be the man you have been waiting for all your life. Just because he doesnt wantto hang out during the week doesnt mean he dont like you maybe he is keeping to his self and resting after work and saving his place time for the weekend

Answer 10

I think you should move on. he sounds like he just wants the sex on the weekends. of couse hes goin to take it if you are giving it to him ,,hes a man. find someone who is really interested in you. someone who wants to spend quality time with you,,,,not when its just convienent for him. there are alot of men out there,,,why settle for one that is not really interested. play tennis with him and dont even ask him if he wans to go out afterwards. be the bigger person here. you deserve better hon!!!!