Ladies only : In love with girl friend but I'm married with kids.?

Question

I need your help. Been married for ten years with pre teen kids. I met her 4 fours ago through my wife. She incredibiliy beautiful and we can talk for hours. I find myself wanting her all the time physically and mentally. I like just seeing her name come across my E-mail. My marriage is not good. My wife cheated on me four years ago with a guy who gave her a bunch of lies and she fell for it. We were mid twenties at the time. I have never really gotten over that and have had a hard time relating to her on any level. She pretty physically, but has a bad personality and can be very mean. I have stayed so far for my children and love them dearly. When they are of age I will leave her and enjoy the rest of my life, but feel that I'm waisting the next 8 years with her, while I wait for my kids to grow up. I'm very nice and a great dad, but want happiness. I'm not sure if my girl freind is it, but should I move forward with her or stay at home and face the music. I love my kids !

Answer 1

I'm sorry that you have to deal with something like this, but I think you should have left a long time ago. I say that because what good is it to stay if you are unhappy. You are staying for your kids which I understand, but you are also teaching them that's it's ok to stay in a situation that you are unhappy in meaning do you want your kids to grow up and do the same thing you are doing now. A marriage is suppose to be forever, but it can only work if the both of you want it to, and if you don't want it to because you have this 8-year-plan you are wasting her time as well as yours. I I will say the grass is not always greener on the other side, and you need to make sure of two things #1 if this does not work out you are ok with leaving your wife as well as your girlfriend because that would be wrong to say let me try the girlfriend and if it does not work out at least I still have my wife. #2 make sure this is not an infatuation. Make sure your girlfriend is not just the good thing you want her to be just becasue you home life is not what you want it to be. I will say this though once you decided to stay after your wife cheated you basicllay said I forgive you. I will never forget, but I love you, I forgive you, and lets move on that's why I say you should have left a long time ago becasue now if you do something I know this may sound silly, but she will feel betrayed becasue 4 years ago you stayed. I wish you the best of luck in what ever you decide, but as long as you are a good dad do what ever makes you happy, and be ok with what ever outcome you have form your decisions.

Answer 2

First, you must forgive her and let her know you're not happy and its time to move on. Waiting will bring more anger towards her which you don't want your kids to see. Cheating with a wife friend is not the answer and a real women does not allow that to happy because she should respect herself and what a married man means. Its diff rent not knowing he's married but going in knowing is different. It shows the lack of respect towards your wife. Yes, she was wrong and her time to pay will come. But, it is not mans call. So, brotha continue to love your kids, respect your wife tell her your ready to move on, and if you must have this other women do it the correct way after a legal divorce. Peace LUVUFIRST

Answer 3

i know this seems hard;it is. but you should never stay in a situation where you are not happy. you must be careful though that if and when you do leave that you remain the father you are now, because if you slack off and your kids notice they will never forgive you; trust me. also when there is another man involved and you have a little girl be sure to have open communication with her and watch out for signals of abuse until you get to know the guy. i wish you all the best of luck and happiness. and if you are feeling this way chances are your wife is to so just talk. everything will work it self out.

Answer 4

I simply do not understand your mentality (and that of a lot of men and women like you out there).

You have major problems on the home front, and instead of trying to fix it, you go out and look for more problems. Say you do leave your wife and kids for this woman, and then it doesn't work out, then what???

If you love your kids as much as you say you do, please show them as much by trying to fix what's wrong with your marriage first.

That's the problem these days, everyone wants a quick fix. In marriage, as in life, there is NO quick fix. You are a role model for your kids, like it or not. If you want them to grow up to be good people, and good human beings, and good husbands/wives, you need to start setting a good example. Otherwise, they'll just be repeating your mistakes.

You're a grown man for heaven sakes, start taking responsibility for yourself, your marriage and your kids. If you leave after at least trying to make things work with your wife, it's better than leaving and not trying.

Answer 5

You stay at home for now ont leave them kids like that . they need you and then again you dont no other man over your kids telling them what to do because some dudes are sick and if you got a lil girl you should protect her. try talking to your wife and let her know the truth about the matter tell her you are not happy and you want to leave her and maybe things will get better.

Answer 6

Getting marry or engaged in intercourse activities with 40 5 yrs previous , the two are countless themes. once you're so arranged on getting marry with 40 5 yrs previous, make certain that this guy is healthful, hygienic, unfastened from all ailments, with a useful character and lively to grant you surely and emotional delight. in case you detect all above features, there isn't any harm in getting marry with 40 5 yrs previous male in case you fairly want.

Answer 7

You and your wife need to go in for counseling; in the mean time, put a bit of distance between you and the girlfriend; you are after all, still married.

Answer 8

i think you should do what makes you happy; you deserve to be happy. but you need to do things correctly. if you take that leap make sure its worth it. good luck and God bless!