How do I give up my boring middle class job and become a THUG???

Question

I am tired of this routine.

I want to get 'crunked with muh homies'.

I want to 'be a balla who's big pimpin' and flashin' grillz'.

How do I do it?

Don't answer if you are a Chickenhead or a Clucker.

Answer 1

to be a thug and crunking with your homies, change your name to 5 cents, thrash mr. wiggles out of your life, shoot your grandpa while he's w-a-n-k-i-n-g to internet porn, and get out of your mom's house so that she'll be able to shack up with herb. cheers!

Answer 2

You'll like to do this gradually, and here is some advice:

First, stop wearing those big black-rimmed glasses from the 1960's. I know it will break your heart to rid yourself of them, but it needs to be done. In order to do this gradually, go to your optometrist and maybe get some new glasses. Don't get contacts...you don't want to turn bad all at once!

You'll probably need to inform your wife that you'd like a divorce...she'll probably insist on divorcing you after you make such a drastic change as your glasses especially. It's difficult to turn bad, but this is an important step to becoming bad. You'd not be considered a thug if your wife insisted on a divorce first. To be bad, you must be in charge--you must demand the divorce first. Besides, after the divorce, you can go get crunked with yo homies all yo want. I think that most pimps are unmarried anyways...

You should probably take of those braces you've had on your teeth since you were 16. Most thugs don't seem to wear those. I know that this is almost as drastic as the glasses, but it also needs to be done. You should contact an orthodontist immediately. While you're there, ask about having those shiny diamonds glued onto your teeth. Thugs and pimps are known for those. Just make sure you keep brushing and flossing. Thugs often get into brawls, and you'd be an embarassed thug when your dentures fall out after a punch to the mouth.

This is also going to be painful, but thugs just don't wear pocket protectors...perhaps you should rid yourself of your pocket protector. You may be excessively concerned about what will happen when your pen explodes all over your shirt without a pocket protector, but there is a simple solution for this. Use only red or brown pens and tell yo homies that it is a blood stain. Say you just won a really big thug brawl. Or better even, say that you were just shot by another thug, but you don't feel pain because you are just such a great thug.

Maybe you should get rid of that nice new tan Buick LeSabre you have. I know that you love Buicks, but it is time to find a more pimpin' car. Remember that you want to do this gradually...the next step to reaching a thug automobile is a minivan. Keep that for a few years, and then get an old beater from the 80's. Thugs seem to have those usually. You just have to do this very gradually though--definitely take the minivan step!

Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all, thugs and ballers are two different things...

Second... only a jack*ss would want to be a thug.

But if you're looking for excitement, bling, and power, then you need to stack your chips and work on your Game.

If you're bored with your current lifestyle, you probably don't have the courage or resources to make "power-moves". You're a follower instead of a leader. So, you've got to change your Game, first of all.

First thing - get your mind right - have courage to be what you want to be.

Two - get your money - stack your chips and become independent.

Three - expand your Game by learning from True Players and Divas.

Four - Stop being a clown and asking dumb questions.

Answer 4

Just jump, Derwood.

How hard is it to go to Pier One get a big old gaudy goblet, Bedazzle the hell out of it and tip back a few with some friends while you got yer "balla baby got back" right there in her Apple Bottom Jeans, poutin alongside you. Go to Walgreen's get a NIGHT GUARD, Bedazzle the hell out of that too. You now have your grill.

It's not hard, you just have to do it, with attitude. Now go on with your bad self. Do the gangsta lean in your Toyota, thumpin down the street. You have one life,my man, live it loud.

Answer 5

Get a nin iron gat and shoot some people to become a homie bro

Answer 6

Jus keepon list-nin to dat dubba digit dialect rap-a-dap-a-dippy-dappy and keepon tinkin uz special...and soon u can share a cell with ur homies. LOL LOL LOL LOL

Answer 7

Dude first things first, change your name!! Who ever heard of a thug named Derwood???

Answer 8

OK, every one of these deserves Best Answer...I defer to the true clowns!

Answer 9

Well... you gotta get some friends in some high up places so they can trust you... Pretty much all I know. xD