I am getting married in 3 years to the greatest guy I have ever known! However The entire time I have been with him he has been steadily gaining weight. He gained about 40 pounds in less than 1 and 1/2 years. Now he has been steady at 301 lbs and he doesn't look good at all.
He happens to be a pro wrestler but never trains or works out or even eats right. He says he wants to be big!
How can I make him see that being "big" and being fat are 2 different things. He refuses to work out or eat better. He just gets angry when I bring it up!
I need to make him see that he is slowly killing himself!
2006-08-28 10:13:58 · 19 answers · asked by Veronica 2 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
I know what you mean my man has gained weight too. but then i dont stay behind either :-) I tell my man that i love him (I have been with him for 4yrs) but that he is fat!!! and i dont like him fat. he says he likes me fat. but i dont. when i go on a diet or start working out i tell him if he wants to join me but he says no. I let him be but then later on he doesnt want to stay home alone and begins to join me in my daily exercises. Once in a while though he'll stay home but then that day I dont cook-- I eat salad and that just makes him crazy so he goes with me the next day. try to manipulate him, well not right away but slowly work your way into manipulating him into the healthy side of life :-)
just dont go over board with manipulating him all the time.
2006-08-28 10:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Information is power- arm yourself with facts about the health risks from not taking care of your body; try not to get into the disciplinarian mode, where you are telling the "bad" person how to fix themselves, people tend to get defensive; instead preface this talk by telling him how much you love him and how much you are worried for your life together when he is jeopardizing himself. Maybe you can suggest working out together- take walks, ride bikes, or go to the gym together. Or you could get fitness tapes to do at home if he doesn't want to go to a gym club. Keep only healthy food around so he doesn't have access to high fat and high sugar junk.
2006-08-28 17:19:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a doctor could better explain it to him. You are absolutely right to be concerned about his health. You need to sit down with him and say, "This is not a time to get angry, this is a time for you to listen to what I have to say and why." Then explain how you don't want to have a 10 or so yr marriage just for him to have a heart attack at 40.
Also, start changing what groceries you buy, what you cook, where you go to eat. He should care about you enough to care about himself a little more or at least care about what you have to say.
2006-08-28 17:37:33 · answer #3 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To those who said she is shallow.........shame on you. She LOVES the guy and is concerned for his health.
The reality of the situation is if he doesn't want to change can you still be with him. It will be a lifetime of painfully watching him kill himself.
I would suggest a family intervention, counseling, something.
If he gets angry he is being insensitive to your feelings. You have 3 yrs to see what happens. He may change he may not.
Hell i'd even go as far as paying for a pro wrestler or one of their trainers to talk to him. Hire one to get him where he needs to be professionally.
Is it sumo that he is into....if so....you will not change his mind. I lived in hawaii and have known a few guys who pursued that lifestyle. Strong willed guys...thats there dream. He may see you as trying to crush his dreams.
If he plans to marry you.....he should have enough respect to hear you out.
2006-08-28 17:26:26 · answer #4 · answered by TEKMSTR 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's happy that way then if you love him you will have to accept him as is, but sounds like you're having second thoughts perhaps you should be honest with him and yourself and tell him how you feel and not in a critical way, perhaps thats why he got angry, it can be a sensitive topic...when it comes down to it if he doesn't care you just have to take it or leave it.
2006-08-28 17:27:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jack 'N' Box 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have three years to change his mind. Don't give up. If you enjoy an active lifestyle then encourage him to join you on outings like hiking, cycling, walking on the beach, etc. Hopefully the more you do things like that together the more he will come to enjoy it. Then its not working out but it definitely will help him to be healthier. Whatever you do, don't nag. That will just make him more resolved to do nothing just to spite you. Good Luck.
2006-08-28 17:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by dropkickchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you waiting 3 years to get married?
2006-08-28 17:35:09 · answer #7 · answered by Becky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you love him enough to marry him then you really shouldnt think that he is unattractive. i agree that you should worry about his heath but to me it sounds more like you are worried about his looks. usually when a person(him) becomes comfortable with another person(you) they will gain weight. how can he possibly be a pro-wrestler and never work out? what kind of wrestling is that?
2006-08-28 17:19:41 · answer #8 · answered by paparazzichelle 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yeah i would pretty much affect his life negatively from many angles, also urs... even sex life wouldnt be great with those exra pounds..
maybe u can show him a really good SHORT documentary on how it can hurt him.. and how being fit and workin out can make u feel much better physically and mentally..
2006-08-28 17:19:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How tall is he? How can he be a prof wrestler at 301lbs? Anyway, maybe you should not push him so hard to lose weight. I know its not healthy but you might lose him completely if you keep pushing! Just food for thought.............
2006-08-28 17:27:00 · answer #10 · answered by Gregg H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋