my boyfriend and i moved in together 12 months ago, into a house around the corner from his ex and 2 children and it has been good because he could see his kids all the time and his ex and him are still good friends but now we have broken up. we still love each other but we know our relationship wont last because we have different expectations of each other, so our break up has been a head choise not a heart choise.
i will see him going past my house all the time to see his kids and it will be really hard because my 2 kids will also see him and they wont understand why he isnt stopping to see us.
should i pack up my kids and move again to avoid the hurt?
2006-08-28 10:03:19 · 8 answers · asked by shandy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It was wonderful of you to be so open and understanding with your ex when it came to living so close to his ex and his kids. He sounds like a great guy. What disturbs me is that you said you both made a head choice when it came to your relationship, and not a heart choice. It disturbs me because it means that you two just....gave up. Everyone has different expectations of themselves and of their partners. That's when the two of you need to sit down, compromise and work through it. It doesnt mean you have to change totally as a person, it just means that you have to bend a little, and so does he. I would like you to think about that. If it was a head choice, then the hurt will never go away because you'll always think "what it"
i wouldn't move. It wouldn't be fair to your kids to pack up and run away from hurt. It would teach them that it's better to run away than to face life and it's pleasures and hurts. Teach your children it's best to learn from your mistakes (if you feel that being with your boyfriend was a mistake) instead of putting your head in the sand.
Best of luck.
2006-08-28 10:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay put, you should never make any major decision within the first 6 months of something happening. You will find in time it will get easier and be honest with your kids about what happened and how you two are still friends but it just wasn't working out. Make sure they know they can say Hi if they see him when they are outside.
I think you are both very wise for deciding not to cause another divorce by realizing now that things weren't going the way you wanted.
Good luck.
2006-08-28 10:11:05 · answer #2 · answered by trahub66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think it will be a hurt for you and your kids, why put yourself--and them through it. Move. The others are saying hold your ground, They'll get over it. Well, it's gonna be hard enough. Giv'em space and time, then let them deal with it.
They're resilient, yes. But human also. Let them learn to be hardened adults later. Baby them now befor they grow up and you long for the days you could protect them from hurting.
2006-08-28 10:18:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a realist I believe kids can accept much more than we give them credit for. If it doesn't bother you to see him all the time, then sit them down and explain things. Tell them you just didn't have the same ideas about somethings and its better that you went separate ways. If you can't handle it I say move.
2006-08-28 10:13:43 · answer #4 · answered by sponggie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids lives are already being disruptive enough that you introduced him into their lives and now he is gone. The big picture is to protect them by not having another man move in with you that is not your husband.
Good luck!
2006-08-28 10:11:10 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hold your ground that is your home remain friendly to him and try to tell your children what has happened the best you can. It is better that your children see you be an adult about it rather than run away from your problems.
2006-08-28 10:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, maybe he WILL stop to see your kids.
2006-08-28 10:09:01 · answer #7 · answered by AzOasis8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2006-08-28 10:08:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋