Our dog passed this morning, I did not tell the kids because they were on the way out to school. I will tell them this afternoon. Harley the dog was 5 years old and was poisoned by a rancher w/ coyote bait. I don't want to tell them how he went.
I don't know how to handle this. I know it will be very hard on my 13 year old as it was "his" dog.
Please help
2006-08-28 10:02:56 · 18 answers · asked by stillsmiling 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm so sorry you lost Harley. Losing a pet is almost as bad as losing a person, especially for a child. Definately don't tell them how it happened, no matter how good the kids are they are apt to try to retaliate. You will have to be very, very gentle and I'm sure you know that. All you can really do is come out and tell them that the poor dog died this morning. You might say he died in his sleep and don't know why...it sometimes happens. maybe you could call a vetrinarian and get his thoughts on what you could tell them that would at least sound right. Good luck and again...I'm so sorry...
2006-08-28 10:08:30 · answer #1 · answered by ctryhnny04 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I am so sorry.
I do not think that you should lie to the kids. You don't need to go into detail of Harley's death, but do tell them that there was an accident and that the dog was poisoned. It would be a lot worse if you led them to believe otherwise...you don't want them looking all over for their dog frantically, that is unfair. Not that I think you would lie to them, but just in case.
On that note, no matter what happens you should tell your children that Harley went peacefully, even if he did not. I know it will be hard, and I'm sure the kids will be devastated, but the grieving process needs to take it's natural course. The 13-year old will probably need a lot of time alone, but he will be okay.
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.
2006-08-28 10:15:53 · answer #2 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to at least tell him he died, my parents lied to me on a pet cat when I was a child, they said she ran away and I searched and searched for that cat and held hope she would return, years later when I was an adult I found out she was ran over. It hurt to know that they didn't tell me so I could give her what I thought was a proper burial. They thought they were doing the right thing but they were not. Now I say to tell him he passed due to what you believe was an unknown sickness(it's kinda the truth) poisining is a painful and awful way for an animal to die, you don't want him to know he suffered. Then tell your son you want to give him a proper burial and maybe let him make a headstone of sorts, that way he can visit the pet when he wants, the next step after the grieving time is over, see if he is willing to get another dog and explain it isn't to replace the lost dog but to have another animal to love and play with(this may be a bad idea if you fear the guy will poison this dog too) I feel your pain and I hope this works for you
2006-08-28 10:10:28 · answer #3 · answered by momie_2bee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are going to be questions so you need to be ready for them. The teen will want to know facts.
He may feel he's not suppose to cry being a man & all. Let the kids handle this in whatever manner,;but not violence.
Grieving takes on ALOT of forms including depression. There will be sadnes for some time to come but keep an eye on the kids & don't let it go on too long without them talking to someone about this.
And if there are other pets, they too will gireve. Watch them carefully.
Dont rush out & get another dog. Let the passing of this life settle first.
I'm sorry.
2006-08-28 10:10:12 · answer #4 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's never easy - first if you aren't going to tell them what happened maybe say he must have eaten something but come up with a reason (they most likely will find out). Second, let them be part of the burial - pick a place etc. I would also maybe put together a scrap book that they can participate in or maybe a photo collage for your 13 year old to keep in his room. Acknowledge his grief and make sure they know it's okay to be sad, when they are ready they will let you know that they would like another pet.
I'm very sorry for you loss.
2006-08-28 10:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by trahub66 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grieved for all the cats I lost. particularly circumstances it develop into by using an average Landlord before everything pronounced i will have cats than later pronounced no denying that he ever pronounced i ought to..as quickly as a landlord gets his lease money he particularly circumstances is going decrease back on his observe! I additionally had Cats that died by using 3 ailment. a pair ran away.. by using Loud hearth Cracker noise. One have been given heavily injured and had to be positioned down reason it may've been too high priced to help her get greater efficient! that's rather the pits while one has to enable a enjoyed be positioned down, reason won't have the capacity to arise with the money for to pay to get the enjoyed greater efficient! I enjoyed all the cats I had. I merely have one kitty now! it may be heartless to no longer grieve for a family member whether that's a cat or a man or woman! In different words that's not greater stupid than grieving for a man or woman that surpassed on and that's no longer stupid.. is it?
2016-12-11 16:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some kids want to talk and some would rather not. Say nice things the dog did and make sure you smile about him. They don't need to know how. Whatever you do, don't say, "we'll go get another pet". You can't replace a member of the family. Good luck! I still miss my dog and it's been 4 years. Just tell them you're there for them if they need to talk.
2006-08-28 10:07:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youre right, dont tell them what happened. There isnt any need to compound the grief. Sit them down and explain that Harley passed away. Then be there for them as they grieve. Its going to take a while..and its going to hurt.
2006-08-28 10:06:30 · answer #8 · answered by Judi V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OUCH! This is one of the toughest ones! My daughter had a dang guinea pig that died and you would have thought it was the end of the world. Don't give them the details, they don't need that information in their brain. Tell them that he's gone and its ok to be very sad. Have a memorial service for him just like you would a person and then let them decide whether or not to get another dog. My parents did when our dog died and I HATED that thing, but because of that she attached herself to me and she was the greatest thing ever for 15 years her and I were inseparable. Good luck and I'm sorry to hear about your dog!
2006-08-28 10:08:13 · answer #9 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aside from the legal recourse you have with the rancher...
This is an opportunity to talk about death and mortality with your kids and a chance to teach them (as well as troobador999) that nothing in life or on Earth is permanent, except love and faith.
We all die, our pets die, complete strangers die - it's as much a part of life as being born, getting married or having your first fudge sundae. *That would be a good time to suggest one.
Celebrate the life of your pet over dessert and resolve to name your next puppy after him!
2006-08-28 10:09:49 · answer #10 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋