I've been dating this guy for about 3 months now and he has a kid who lives a couple hours away and she has been up her about 5 times already and he has not introduced me to her yet. I understand that some parents are funny about that but I am somewhat offended being that she has been up here multiple times. I don't want to let him know I'm upset about it nor do I want to ask him. I want him to introduce me to her on his own. What do you guys think about this? Honest and mature answers please!
2006-08-28 09:32:36 · 16 answers · asked by pradagurl2k3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to try to understand that children are very sensitive about these things..... I can see why you're hurt, but there's no way to know if this little girl has issues. If she does, then he is protecting her by leaving uneeded stress out of her life. Try not to take it personally--- it most likely has nothing to do with you, but more with the relationship he has with his daughter. Most parents do not want to make these kinds of introductions until they are very sure that the person they are seeing is going to be a very long term fixture. If you've been seing eachother for only threee months, he may just be playing it safe for her sake. Some kids have trouble in school when their parents are dating someone new, some have nightmares, and even wet the bed!
I am concerned that you won't tell him how you feel.... you said that you want him to make the introduction on his own, and I think you're right on with that!! BUt tell him that you are interested in meeting his child. Tell him that you can't help but wonder if he doesn't want you to meet her, and ask kindly and openly for an explanation so that you can feel better. Accept whatever he tells you about it, and then decide on your own whether you can live with it. If not, then do what's right for you!!!!
Good luck, and try to be patient!!
2006-08-28 09:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by smarty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shouldn't be introduced to her unless and until you two decide to become permanent parts of the others lives. Three months isn't enough time to do that. You have to understand how much these kids have lost and how screwed up their world is right now. You didn't say how long he's been divorced or how old the child is but a parent has to consider very, very carefully allowing the child to get to know someone and then losing yet another person in their world. Its a very tough situation. Be patient and instead of taking it as a slight against you be glad that you are with a guy that is capable of considering his childs welfare to this extent, its a good sign of strong character!
2006-08-28 09:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain, but you need to relax. He probably wants to be absolutely sure that your relationship might be permanent before involving his child. Children have a habit of getting emotionally attached and they are hurt as much or more if the relationship ends. 3 months is not a very long time. Calm down and enjoy the time you spend with him.
Does he know if you like children? You could say, just ONE TIME ONLY, if you ever want to do something together when your daughter is here, I would enjoy that. He will probably then give you the reason, or consider it.
2006-08-28 09:37:52 · answer #3 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would guess that he may feel that it is still too early in the relationship. My dad dated for a few years and I only met one of his girlfriends. They dated for about 6 months before I met her. She ended up becoming his wife. He says he never introduced me to the others because he didn't see any reason to until he met the right one. I'm not suggesting that you're not the right one for your boyfriend, but maybe he just needs a little more time.
2006-08-28 09:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by munkees81 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would show your consirn but i would read to much into it!! 5 times in the past 3 months is not a lot and if so then if that was me seeing my kid that time no offence but i would ditch you complete while my offspring is here to see me!
to bring you up isn't really a big deal! maybe he isn't ready to share his life with his kids!
but i do see a bery bad thing here!
why can you not talk to him about it! he is suppose to be your lover /best friend right! that to me is a boyfriend....
don't ask him when can i meet your kid. just say when do you think would be a good time to tell your daughter about us? and then just let the talking take over!
just be open and honest on how you feel from what you typed here that seems to be more of an issue then you seeing his kid!
but i do know where your coming from if i'm such a big part of his life then why didn't he let me meet his kid who you know is a HUGE part of his life!
it sucks but he is the only one with the answers! and you know him best!
Good luck
Mad luv
2006-08-28 09:39:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy, but let me tell you a little some thing from a women some time a guy will wait before they let you see there child because they can be unsure with them self and you. I was told from a man that when you do get to see that child that you are in the house with him meaning in the family it could be a lot of reason it could be because of the women he have the child by that may cause you and him alot of probly for you both but please wait on him and the time will come. one more thing I forgot to tell you is that 3 months is not engouh time yet to meet that child
2006-08-28 09:45:41 · answer #6 · answered by Teresa C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-17 17:57:08 · answer #7 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
chances are, one of two things. he hasn't yet because that is his time with his daughter and doesn't want intrusion. you shouldn't feel upset by this. the other is that either he is, as you say, funny about it or he has mentioned it to his daughter and she is not interested in meeting a female figure in his life. give him time and ask him about it. although you may not like his answer, he has his reasons. hope it helps.
2006-08-28 09:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by SST 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him time. Be patient. It is hard for a parent to introduce someone who isn't the child's mom/dad.
2006-08-28 09:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't let your feelings know that it upsets you or you won't discuss it with him, but hes suppose to just push what ever feeling he has aside (you don't even know what they are because you won't ask or communicate) and just subject his little girl to meeting a strange woman that is not her mom.
Either have open lines of communication or sit back, stay quiet and wait for him to be ready.
2006-08-28 09:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by what it do 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋