Dating a marine?

Question

Im dating a guy in the marines. We had been friends for a long time. We arent official, but we both really like eachother so its not like i should ignore this. He is in cali. right now and then oklahoma to finish training. He can only call me on sundays until he gets to oklahoma, then he can call everyday. But i just found out that he doesnt know when exactly hes coming home. I might not see him until next summer, or he might even get deployed right out of training and go straight to Iraq. I dont know what to do? i like him a lot, and we just started dating before he left to finish training. I wanna know if i should wait for him or not. Is there anyone with this problem? Is it worth not seeing him forever?

Answer 1

It sucked for me when I got my "Dear John" when I was stationed in Calif.

You really need to determine if you are going to be steady boyfriend/girlfriend first before you go and decide something as important as a long distance relationship.

Those relationships are the most demanding and hardest to last. The reason that the majority fail is that one of those involved could not last the temptation.

Answer 2

Well it's like this i am now married to a guy in the Navy and we started out the same way we were friends and then it turned out to be more than friends just before he left for a 12 month deployment to Bahrain and let me tell you YES it is worth the wait things have been great even better once you have been through a deployment and you should get to see him he should be able to take leave at least 10-30 days before a deployment or at least in the Navy you do. I have been through 2 deployments now and although they are tough on not only you and him but the relationship but just remember they will be going through hell over there my husband wont even talk about what went on over there but you have to be Strong and willing to be there for him when he needs someone to talk to. It's really hard to be a military wife and you have to be strong enough to endure what he is going to have to go through so if you think that you are strong enough to support him then I say stick with him. But if you have any doubts end it now, because once he gets deployed that's the last thing he needs on him mind!

Answer 3

When you date ANY servicemember you're dating the service, not the person. He is in no way in control of when and where he can go, especially these days. One of the sayings I used to hear all the time was: "If the Marine Corps wanted you to have a (wife / girlfriend) it would have issued you one."

You both have to be very strong people to survive such a relationsihp. You CAN, IF you make the commitment. However, you may simply not be ready for such a tough challenge, especially being so young. That's not to say you can't succeed. You probably can. You're just in for more than you thought at this point.

The choice is entirely up to you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Please understand that I am not being rude, I just simply would like for you to let him know soon. There is nothing at all wrong with remaining to be Friends, you could still write to him and keep communications opened. The sad thing, is when a girl gets wrapped up in the moment, promises to wait and then sends the Dear John letter while they are over seas.
If you really feel like you may not want to wait,then let him know that, and that you would like to be friends with no commitments made.

Answer 5

My first husband was a marine and my second husband just got out of the marine corps in january. They said that a spouse of a military member is the hardest job their is and from personal experience, I can tell you that it's true. Letting your loved one go over seas not knowing if they are going to come home alive or in a box is very scary but if you truly want to be with him, wait for him. I know it's going to be hard, but if you think that he's the one you want to be with, you can make it work and you can make it through it. Trust me, I went through 2 deployments.

Answer 6

I tell you one thing. Im in Iraq right now and we have this saying over here. What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq. Plus he is going to Cali? He will most likely lose his damn mind when he gets there and forgets all about you. Im sorry to say but leave this cat alone.

U.S. Soldier

Answer 7

While he is gone he will stray, not when he is in Iraq though I am sure. But there is plenty of Oakies that will give him a whirl. Wait until he gets back and gets tested for diseases. You can be a friend and write him though. Also you don't want to be tied down to getting none while he is gone.

Answer 8

I would say take a break and stay in contact as friends until he returns. There is tons of availablity for Marines on and around base. Don't let yourself get hurt, just let him have his experience and live your life as well until he returns. This way you can decide how you feel about him later without the "What If's"

Answer 9

I am in the same spot but my boyfriend is in the army and we are getting married before he goes to iraq but i say if you love him then wait see what happens talk to him and see what he wants too!! Because if you two love each other and want to make it work then wait you will not be the only one waiting he is going to be waiting for you too!!

Answer 10

stick by his side if you have genuine feelings for him, i mean he is putting his life on the line for you , me and everyone else, thats love within itself. he is doing something construtive. plus u might not realize it but you might be his back bone right now giving him hope that even though he's making a future for us all he has someone to look forward to coming home to. our situation is almost exact with a few differences. love can conquer all. be the support he needs, have patience and you will be deserving of whatever he has to offer you when he comes home. yes to me it would be worth never seeing him forever for the fact that its all for you and i. god bless your marine and just pray for the best . if its meant to be it will be.