Or am I the jerk for not wanting babies at my wedding? It is my wedding afterall, or is it? The way half of my guests are acting... I swear what I want is the least important thing going on here.
2006-08-28 08:24:48 · 27 answers · asked by mcslain 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
WHat is up with these stupid people in here talking about "celebrating with the children" ****? Children suck. They are a pain in the ***. DO not bend on this one. Don't let kids into your party. I had a few people get pissed at me for doing the same thing. You know what? I didn't care. Your wedding is NOT the place for the "children" to learn social skills. It's cheap parents who won't get a sitter. I would definately tell them that if they bring kids, they will asked to leave. Some people are so rude. Not everyone LOVES their kid. If they love it so much, stay home with it.
2006-08-29 15:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by GiddyGiddyGoin 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Personally I feel that children should never be invited to a wedding, they can be very disruptive. Apparently I'm not the only person who feels that way here is a story that was in Dear Abby the other day:
DEAR ABBY: I am a professional disc jockey with more than 30 years' experience. I am on radio, and also entertain at weddings and private parties on weekends. Over the years, I have been amazed at the number of parents who take small children to wedding receptions and then proceed to turn the toddlers loose while they kick back and enjoy themselves.
Last weekend, such parental lack of supervision, combined with adult stupidity, had disastrous consequences.
I had just played the "first dance" songs and was playing a song for the bride, who wanted to have a special dance with her grandfather. About midway through the song, a woman came running to my table saying, "There's something wrong with the air! My throat is burning!" I looked up and the bride was holding her hand to her throat, gesturing at me to stop the music. About that time, about half the crowd started running for the door and out into the parking lot.
A minute or two later, one of the staff informed me that someone had let loose pepper spray into the hall. They threw open the doors and windows and, after 15 or 20 minutes, things began to return to normal.
It turned out that someone had left a keychain with a small canister of pepper spray sitting on a table. A child about 4 years old, who was running loose through the hall, picked up the keychain, saw the shiny container with a button on the top -- and pushed it. Talk about a great party stopper. Most of the guests who left the room never returned -- and all because someone left his or her kid unsupervised, running amok, and because an adult with cranial-rectal syndrome left a container with a toxic chemical on a table where a child could pick it up.
Please, parents. If you must bring a child to a reception, make sure that child is properly supervised. Otherwise, get a baby sitter and leave the child at home. -- "THE VELVET VOICE" IN HILLIARD, OHIO
DEAR VELVET VOICE: I hear you loud and clear. Now if the guilty parties will pay attention and not tune you out, perhaps fewer adult festivities will be ruined.
2006-08-28 21:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people have "adult only" weddings. I think it is very appropriate that you ask they not bring babies into a church (Who wants the ceremony interrupted by crying/screaming?).
As for the reception, maybe you can compromise a little. If there is an extra room on the premisis then you can get a babysitter and have the guests that wish to bring children stay in that room (and maybe pay, in-part, for the sitter). I know that's a BIG maybe, but it could solve a little conflict.
I, personally, don't see why anyone would want to bring a small child to a wedding anyway. They are just going to get bored, tired, and cranky. You might as well hire a sitter and have them stay home.
2006-08-28 17:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have requested "No children" at the wedding, and they choose to ignore your request, then yes, they're being jerks. So long as you're applying it across the board (i.e. NO children under 8 or whatever) and not just selectively (well, okay, John and Sue can bring little 6 year old Missy, but NO ONE ELSE can bring kids).
I don't think you're being a jerk for not wanting babies at your wedding. There are various reasons to not want to have them there, not the least of which is that some parents are unable or unwilling to keep their children quiet during a ceremony, or keep their children under control at a reception.
If you have guests who are being adamant about "Well, we just HAVE to bring little Mikey or we can't come" then tell them that you'll be sorry to miss them.
Because caving in on one is then unfair to the OTHERS.
2006-08-28 15:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You are not a jerk. My husband and I also had a no children request for our wedding. I must say, we were met with resistance. However, we stated our case: it's a small wedding reception with limited seats. It's not one of those 500 guests shin-digs. Children cannot appreciate the solemnity of a wedding ceremony, and they should be in bed while the reception is going on (if it's at night).
The question is why this couple wants to bring the baby. Is it because she is nursing and doesn't want to express (or has a baby like mine were who want it all the time)? Or is it because they are so in love with their baby they can't imagine why anyone would not want him/her there and can't bear to be without him/her that evening? Or is there a child-minding problem?
Ask them why they insist on bringing the baby and state your reasons for not wanting babies there. Try to help them find a solution. For example, we had a guest who had given birth only 4 weeks before our wedding. She sent her husband to the ceremony and reception, and he left the reception for a short time to get her after the baby went down so that she could enjoy herself for a while. This allowed her to nurse on demand but not be a slave to her baby.
I hope you can resolve this without too many hurt feelings.
2006-08-28 17:18:06 · answer #5 · answered by Two Lips 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, it's them. You can have a no children wedding (I am too). Weddings are VERY expensive and you'll have to pay a lot for that extra person who is unlikely to eat much or even enjoy being there and may get tired and want to leave early.
If lots of people bring children, it will also likely change the dynamic of the day. You have something in mind. It's your day. And it's your wallet in the end.
Don't let people stress you out. You need to make decisions and stick with them. You can listen to others' opinions, but in the end, remember it is yours.
If your family / guests are really too much you have 2 options -
1. Plan a much smaller event where they won't all be invited - even elope. Then you don't have to deal!
2. Choose your battles wisely. My fiance and I chose specific things we cared about to "fight" for and other things we simply said - that's not a hill I want to die on - and let it go.
2006-08-28 16:35:02 · answer #6 · answered by cmc1217 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is not unreasonable at all to request that no children come. And your guests must respect your decisions. If this is not a battle that you want to fight and the parents are DETERMINED to bring the young ones, either you can ask them not to come, or set up a sitter room.
At my wedding/reception this upcoming March I have reserved an extra room for children, complete with movies, toys and sitters. I have mentioned that the parents who are planning on bringing their kids (most are out of town guests) that there will be a sitter available and please be generous for tips with them. I have not heard any negative response for that, as they all know how expensive the wedding will already be.
My Fiance's parents are actually going to pay for the kids room (only an extra 50 bucks for 4 hours) and pay for their dinner (we have a modified menu for them- MUCH cheaper).
I dont like pushy guests, and if it gets too overwhelming for you- just say no...
Good luck and congratulations!
2006-08-28 17:40:26 · answer #7 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wedding is your party, you can have and not have whomever you want there. The ones who insist on bringing babies when you asked them not to are the jerks, not you.
If your guests don't want to leave their babies for a day, they can not attend. It's their choice. But they can't force you to take in guests when they know that you didn't want to in the first place.
2006-08-28 16:01:57 · answer #8 · answered by justagal 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are rude and inconsiderate if they bring their child. I had no children at my wedding. (I actually had a response card for the couple, the couples two children and a boyfriend.) If you specifically stated the couples names on the envelope with no "and family", then you have every right to call them and explain that this is a adults only wedding. If they give you a hard time, tough, they can stay home.
We told one family member her daughter was not to attend, but she brought her anyway. To make matters worse, this kid wore a shirt that reflected light, so I have these reflections in most of my pictures. Oh, I was so pissed. So stand up for what you want, it's YOUR wedding. Good luck
2006-08-28 22:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by Lissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of your new life together, so why are you restricting who should be a part of the celebrating? Families with kids show you the joy that will be coming your way, and add to a lot of fun at the wedding. I'm sure you went to weddings as a kid - and that's where children learn a lot - about the importance of marriage, of family, of community celebration. If you wanted a life-less wedding, maybe you should consider eloping, or just having a small registry wedding ceremony.
2006-08-29 10:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ah, welcome to the wonderful world of weddings...where the bride and groom matter not. Stand up for what you desire! I have a new baby myself. If I truly didn't want to leave her for long, I could easily find a friend or G'ma to sit in the car or at a nearby park or restaurant with her while I attended the ceramony. There is no reason that baby should be at you wedding if you choose to have an adults-only celebration. People do it all the time. Just politely remind your attendee that you would like to have him or her at the celebration but that your decision regarding your wedding is final.
2006-08-28 15:32:38 · answer #11 · answered by MEC 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋