What do you think?

Question

If your fiancee gives you the silent treatment at home, then waits till he gets to work to write you emails all day about being "concerned" about your weight. If he was concerned about my health, why wouldn't he just talk to me about it? He did it in such an upsetting way, I feel horrible now. I don't care if he really is concerned, I think he is pathetic how he addressed it. I'm not a colleague of his, I'm supposed to be his fiancee. He's only succeeded in making me feel like a piece of worthless garbage. I don't even want him to come home tonight now. I feel ashamed of myself, and worthless. He's a tall, skinny guy by the way, and far from perfect. I've never commented on his weight, ever. His whole family are pathetically skinny. I'm mad and upset now. I am hating him at the moment:-( He's made me feel so bad about myself.

Answer 1

So if he brought it up to you and talked to you, how would you handle it? My guess is that he has an idea of how you would handle it, and probably doesn't want to go though that. Which is why he did it the way he did.

Now the question is, do you have a weight problem? Are you at potential risk for diabeties or other weight related issues.

If it was the other way around and you had "concerns" about your husbands weight, how would you handle it? Rather than get upset about how he commuicated what was on his mind, be happy that he did. And talk to him and reslove the issue. Unless you just want to argue about the email, and what will that get you?

Answer 2

A relationship needs to have open communication from both partners. If he hasn't mastered this skill yet, you need to address it now, before you get married. You shoudl be able to talk to each other openly whenever the need arises. If your weight is concerning him because it is very unhealthy then maybe it is a real concern to him and you don't need to take it personal. But he needs to be open with communication. If the weight is concerning him because he doesn't like how it looks or he is wrong in thinking you are overweight, then I say you should reconsider marrying this man.

Answer 3

keeping what you feel inside isnt going to make the situation better. Actually i think its going to make it worse. You'll start to think more, and get more upset over it. Adress it to him. Calmly let him know, that the way he communicated his worries to you. made you upset and angry. Don't point out his error's as you just did (you're to skinny .. and your fam is too etc) because that's going to escalate into a bigger confrontation of pointing out each others weaknesses and flaws. Just tell him better phrase what he wants to say. And not to go on ignoring you (a bit childish)

I understand that you got upset. Everyone knows their body, and we feel as if we don't need someone else telling us about it. It May have been that you're hubby was simply worried about you're health. But approached the situation the wrong way.

Answer 4

Ur couple seems odd...But still love permits....Anywayz maybe he is worried about how u will feel if he tells u that in person...maybe he thinks that u will feel awkward/ embarassed at such a question.... U should give him "some" time before taking any harsh decision....Maybe he got his own complexion and this maybe the cause of him not talking to u directly....

Answer 5

It's not right that he went about it that way! Maybe he isn't who you thought? Think about you, are you dangerously overweight? If you aren't risking your life by being the weight you are and you're comfortable at your weight, then its his problem not yours. Don't stoop to his level and make fun of his weight. If he cant come up with a good reason for approaching the situation the way he did, maybe it's time reevaluate the relationship.

Answer 6

Well you may want to talk to him let him know that he is not a Centerfold male model, If you continue to stay with him it want change the way you feel,and the same way you will now you will feel later, IF YOU LOVE YOURSELF & YOU ARE SATISFIED WITH YOU NOTHING ELSE MATTERS, You said something that hit home in your statement, That was "HE is Skinny and everyone in his family is skinny" You Quoted this, SO there is your answer HE WANTS YOU SHINNY THIS IS WHAT HE IS USE TO. I would NO longer have this type of conversation with him concerning your weight, EVEN if you are OVER WEIGHT, YOU HAVE TO MAKE THAT CHANGE FOR YOU, NO ONE ELSE. I have a sister that was NEVER OVER WEIGHT in her Life, Well she gets married to an OVER WEIGHT HUSBAND, And I do mean Overweight and HE and his family are not use to her being smaller that them, And HE does not like coming around or being around us because NONE of US are OVER WEIGHT. So She is not happy because he is insercure and he is OVER WEIGHT & UNHAPPY because he's OVER WEIGHT and thinks my sister will leave him. AND He really does not want to loose weight. SO You may want to MOVE OUT FROM UNDER THAT SORT OF TORTURE and LOVE YOU AND TAKE TIME OUT FOR YOU. Then If he LOVES YOU FOR YOU, HE WOULD APPRECIATE YOU FOR BEING YOU. HOPE THIS HELPS. AND DO TAKE CARE. Please do not make the same mistake my sister did there are so many men out there that would love you like you love yourself.

Answer 7

Wow. That doesnt sound like a virgo in any admire. it would desire to easily be the adult men and females you comprehend for the reason that i understand many virgos and that they are very docile. they are laid back now no longer actual abusive. maximum virgos arent stepped forward so difficult the two they are tall in maximum situations lol and that they are basically somewhat picky, sarcastic yet now no longer verbally abusive. and each physique gets mad regularly, your persons basically take it to a distinctive point and no offense in spite of the shown fact that evidently like they pick help in the event that they are bodily abusive. And u being a libra you're stunning, u wont understand them lol. Libras pick rapidly until now in spite of. They dont study all the information like a virgo does so they won't get alongside all that sturdy too. No offense. it relies upon upon delivery charts and u've checked they are majority virgo....What approximately their mars sign? Cuz if its virgo then they wont be abusive in any of the adventure, they had be the opposite! Virgos tend to be candy hearts with OCD =].

Answer 8

He a passive aggressive control freak. Do you really think this is about your weight, or is it about control? Throwing you off balance, so he is more in control.

Sending you an email is totally wormy. I'd think twice about marrying such a loser. Seriously, he will just make you feel crappy about other stuff, too.

Answer 9

Be mad - you have a right to it...

Then, realize - he is a guy. Communication is a skill that falls well below other core abilities, like a.) pick up after himself, b.) remember things like birthdays, c.) listen and engage in a meaningful conversation d.) handle ANYTHING with tact.

Frankly, if he "tried" to word it nicely, his intent might have been to help. We tend to judge other people's actions, but we tend to look at our own "intent". What was his intent?

Be careful to at least consider that. Of coarse, you still may need to murder the guy, but at least if you do, you can do it with a clean conscience!

Answer 10

If he was a real man, he would have told you face to face. No excuse for how he handled it. By the way, getting married usually makes people comfortable and tends to add a few pounds to both parties. How's he going to tell you next time?