This guy was great during my wedding festivities. He was a groomsman, helped with rehersal dinner, decorated the car, etc... I feel that I should show him the same respect and courtesy, but I'd rather avoid the whole situation (wedding included). We're all supposed to be close friends, but I'm having a hard time dealing with his getting married. What to do?
2006-08-28 08:02:48 · 19 answers · asked by MEC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sorry...I was unclear. This "ex" was a childhood (13-14 y/o) boyfriend, not my ex-husband.
2006-08-28 08:11:24 · update #1
He was there for you with your wedding, maybe you should do the same thing. But only if you truly want to. Maybe he had a hard time when you got married, but he wanted to help you anyways. Do the same thing.
2006-08-28 08:05:05 · answer #1 · answered by It's my life 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would simply just send a greeting card wishing them the best of luck and a bright future and nothing more. If you are having a hard time with him getting married, then I feel that it's best that you not attend as a courtesy of respect to the Bride. Why would you have a hard time anyway? Would you truthfully want your husband's ex to attend your wedding??Think about it, Good Luck!!!
2006-08-28 08:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by Yahoo Anwers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So this guy was a real sport with your own wedding festivities, but you can't do the same for him?
Considering that you're married, you shouldn't have a hard time dealing with his upcoming nuptials. If you react in any way other than the way a close friend would act, everyone is going to know/think that you're harboring feelings for him. That would put a strain on your friendship, not to mention your marriage.
You need to suck it up and play the part, and do something that you don't want to do because it will make someone happy. In other words, sacrifice.
2006-08-28 08:07:44 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Huh? You really don't need to congratulate your ex on ANYTHING! Why he would help YOUduring YOUR second wedding (is that what you are saying) is BEYOND me! There are no such things as "close friends" where matters of the heart are concerned. You all sound a little weird frankly. Skip the festivities, dear. You owe your ex nothing and vice versa. Geesh!
2006-08-28 08:09:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A heartfelt card of congratulations will do nicely.
Why are you having a hard time with him getting married? Do you think his fiance isn't a good fit? Is it just that wiggens of "yikes, how can it be that he's getting married?" Pinning that down will help determine how your should deal with the wedding itself. Unless there is a good reason, if you are invited I suggest you set your feelings aside and attend his wedding in support of him.
2006-08-28 11:34:03 · answer #5 · answered by Church Music Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel obligated to reciprocate his actions. It is understandable that you'd rather not be included in the celebrations. If you have an open line of communication I'd sit down and have a heart to heart with him instead of attempting to avoid it at all costs or doing something begrudgingly out of a sense of obligation.
2006-08-28 08:15:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably you should grow up. Why should you be having a hard time because someone you dated as a child is getting married, especially considering you're married to someone else? Does your husband know you still have feelings for this guy?
2006-08-28 14:55:34 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are friends with your ex? Maybe your problem is that you are still friends. You were never far enough apart to get over him, and keeping him close still kept some of that hope of you and he getting back together alive.
You just need to control yourself and deal with it. There is nothing else to say really. He dealt with you getting married, you should deal with him getting married.
2006-08-28 08:10:00 · answer #8 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With a nice card, and a smile! With what he done for you, you should be more than happy to be there for him. But if you cant make it because your spouse dont like it, then explain to your ex that your spouse doesnt approve. Send a nice gift w/card!
2006-08-28 08:12:20 · answer #9 · answered by Tweetalette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
send a small gift with a card for both of them and make up some reason why you cant attend the wedding
2006-08-28 08:06:07 · answer #10 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋