My doctor says depression is normal and treatment is very effective. But I told him I feel fine and that everything is great, that's how I felt at the time. Now I just feel like maybe I do have depression. Maybe it's just hormones though? I had my baby 3 1/2 weeks ago, and I also have a 3 1/2 year old and a 20 month old. I'm getting restless to be at home with them all the time, but I feel like I can't get out with a 3 1/2 week old baby. When my newborn cries and I can't consule her all I can do is just put her down and start crying myself. I don't feel like I'm a good mother because I don't do more with my kids...they watch too much tv. I've been thinking a lot recently about going back to work or school and wonder if having kids was the best choice. But at the same time I love them to death and couldn't imagine not having them. I often get bored with being a stay-at-home mom and wonder if there's more to life. There's so much more stuff bugging me...is this depression?
2006-08-28 07:59:28 · 20 answers · asked by mommyem 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Wow - you sound JUST like I did after my 3rd was born. Please know that it DOES get better. It really sounds like you're going through the usual hormonal adjustment period. I REALLY recommend that you try to find another way to work through it instead of getting on drugs, though - my Dr. put me on Zoloft, which kind of just numbed me to everything, but then when I was trying to get off of it I had horrible withdrawal symptoms that were much worse than the "depression" I had before starting it.
I know that it's hard to get out with a new baby, but try to visit with friends who have kids, that way your older two can play. Also, have friends come over so that your kids can play with their kids while you take care of the baby. Do you have a MOMS Club in your area? If so, join the group and get some support - 3 kids is HARD when the 3rd is so small, and being around other moms who have been through it helps out a LOT. (Check out the website at http://www.momsclub.org/ to see if there is one near you.) I know this sounds crazy, too, but even go to the grocery store! My kids love going to Kroger because the bakery gives them a free cookie, and then we walk around the store pointing out stuff that we already have in our pantry, and naming all of the veggies and fruits in the produce section.
Get on the web and find crafty things to do with the older two. I know the 20-month-old might not be into it as much, but he/she will definitely be interested in whatever your 3-year-old is doing. Make playdough, draw with chalk on black paper, even paint if you can stand the mess they make - this way they will have something to do instead of watch TV and you might find that watching them play lifts your mood.
Anyway, I'm sorry this is such a long response - I just really feel for you. I really hope that you can work through this soon.
Take care and good luck!
2006-08-28 08:15:36 · answer #1 · answered by Mellie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you're suffering from situational depression. Be aware that depression is a disease and needs to be treated just as diabeties and heart disease. Go back to your doctor, discuss the way you're been feeling. if you want the best results start tracking your emotions. Get a calendar and mark down what days are good and which ones are bad. if you notice that you're having bad days for 3 or more weeks you are suffering from depression. Treatments that would work well for you would be counseling and possibly medication, but let your doctor decide.
if you do decide to got the route of medication you must know you have to take these meds as prescribed. if you stop taking an anti-depressant suddenly it will worsen your depression making you a danger to yourself and others. Also be aware that not all medications work on each person so you may have to try more than one to find a fit. The same is true of counselors. if you seek counseling and you don't like your counselor find a new one. one of my friends went through 6 before she found one she liked.
Don't be discouraged, millions of americans go through what you're going through. Find others in your situation because you most certainly are not alone. Good luck and always remember that if you're wondering if you're a good parent, that in and of itself is a sign that you ARE a good parent.
2006-08-28 08:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by one fine day 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your feeling a little depressed and overwhelmed. Is there anyone to help with the kids, to give you a little alone time? It's normal to feel some depression after having a baby. It usually goes away after a while. You should go back to your doctor and make sure that what your feeling is a normal level of depression or if it could be more serious.
2006-08-28 08:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by sweet.pjs1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's as much depression as you just being overwhelmed. Honey, you've got your hands full in a BIG way - HUGE. You have 3 children under the age of 4, of course you're gonna feel stressed. Do you have someone that could watch the kids one day a week just so you can get out and have some "me" time....It's tough work being a momma....don't let anyone tell you different...Maybe if possible, work part-time we all need that adult interacting...
Hang in there...from a fellow mom of three - mine are grown now 18 year old twins and a 16 year old...there IS hope ;-)
Good luck & take care of YOU, Marilyn
2006-08-28 08:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is all so normal right now - ALL these feelings you are having is normal. Having four children myself, the best advice I could give you is DON'T feel guilty about what you think you might not be doing "right" - your children will remember the positive. Also, once you feel like you can get out (and I think you can now if you physically feel like it) - go to your library story times. Those are fun and short enough to where you won't go too crazy having 3 children with you. Talk with other moms so you can feel like more of a "person" - you will be okay. Give yourself time and make sure you have people around that you can call that support you.
2006-08-28 08:11:08 · answer #5 · answered by boise tj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let your doctor or anyone else talk you in to something you may not have. The power of suggestion is very strong. If you are American, I assume the treatment for depression is not free.
Like any other new parent you are probably tired, feeling somewhat overwhelmed, and your hormones are up and down like a yoyo.
Keep an eye on it, but these feelings tend to go away once things have settled down.
2006-08-28 08:10:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to just make it through the day. Stop comparing yourself to other mothers. Nobody is as perfect as they look. You are probably suffering from lack of sleep and baby blues. If this goes on for more than two weeks go to your doctor. There are options to getting out of the house. Look into doing some sort of direct sales. There are hundreds. Tupperware, weekender wear, discovery toys, pampered chef, partylite candles and sooo many more. Find one that you would enjoy selling and getting the perks from. The best part is that you get to set your schedule so you only do as much as you want to. It worked well for me. While getting out of the house was my main objective, making a little extra money never hurts. Good luck, and remember there is no such thing as super mom.
2006-08-28 08:08:02 · answer #7 · answered by sexyheater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be afraid to seek out the real answer to this situation. I really didn't think I had post partum depression untill I took one of those self tests online. When I kept answering those questions "yes" I was amazed to see how classic my symptoms were. I got help. I took Paxil for 4 months (although the doc says usually it takes 18 months), and it made me feel so much better. Look into the symptoms and answer the questions honestly to yourself, and then talk to a doctor.
2006-08-28 08:11:00 · answer #8 · answered by Olive Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Post-partum deppression happens to many women. And the fact that you also have 2 other fairly young ones can't help. Try forming play groups with other mothers with kids near the same age. It will not only give the kids an outing but you will get some much needed "Adult" interaction as well.
2006-08-28 08:06:43 · answer #9 · answered by nooodle_ninja 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like depression to me. You can get out with the new baby. Just make sure she is dressed appropriately for the weather and don't take her anywhere that is too crowded. I learned after my daughter was born that just taking a car ride did me good. Do you have any family or friends that could watch the kids and let you get out for a while? Just don't be afraid to ask for help. We all need a break sometimes.
2006-08-28 08:05:11 · answer #10 · answered by Kel K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋