How does one cancel a wedding with class?

Question

My fiance and I have decided that this wedding this is way too expensive. We have already mailed out the invitations, but we want to cancel the wedding. How does one word the cancellation of the wedding? We have decided to take the money that was going to be spent on the wedding and go on a great honeymoon instead!

I wanted to add that the location where we were having the wedding has become a problem - my parent's house is no longer available; that also has a great deal to do with this...

Answer 1

There isn't one in your situation. There are classy ways to cancel weddings because the marriage isn't happening, but there are no classy ways to cancel the wedding because you don't want to pay for it anymore.

You could call or send out notices, and it would seem kind of classy at first. But as soon as people find out that you got married anyway, a lot of people are going to be upset and critical.

Answer 2

VERY RUDE! You really should have thought about how much the wedding was going to cost before you mailed out the invitations. Deciding now to go on a great honeymoon is extremely rude and inconsiderate for the guests-they've already made plans to go to the wedding which could include plane tickets, days off of work, other events that they decided not to go to like other weddings or parties. They are definately going to be insulted at this. Its not as though you two are breaking up-you are just going on a better honeymoon.

If you still decide to cancel the wedding ceremony, then let people know ASAP. Call up some, i.e. some friends, relatives, co-workers, and let them kow-tell them to tell others although you are informing every guest personally. Then send out notices similar to save-the-dates and let each guest know the wedding ceremony has been canceled but that you will still be getting married.

Answer 3

Use this site for the correct etiquette to cancel your invitations:

http://www.crane.com/Etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette&S=Postponement_Cancellation

After you get married in your intimate ceremony you should probably send out wedding announcements (those are sent immediately after the ceremony) to everyone on the original guest list, so people don't think you and the groom broke up altogether!

...and I'm sorry to have to say so, but I really kind of think it was poor planning of you to send invitations out and then cancel them at the last minute like this. Normally people only do a cancellation like this for a death or serious illness in the family, or because the wedding is entirely being called off, not because of a sudden last-minute budgeting decision. Some people may have already made arrangements to take off work, and made travel arrangmements, and you've kind of been inconsiderate to your would-be guests.

Answer 4

Cancelling a wedding with class....I am not sure there is such a way....some people are going to sigh with relief they don't have to buy you another gift...some people are going to on the phone gossiping as they read the announcement.....some people are going to be upset....

I am hoping the wedding is still a couple of months away, because you may get whip-lash from explaining why your family and friends are stuck with airplane tickets, and hotel reservations to a event that you don't want anymore. If the wedding is a couple of months away....STOP right now, run to the store, and by some pretty paper, and get to writing the announcement, before Uncle Bob goes get a new hair peice, and doesn't have any where to wear it.

Dear Family and Friends,

We are sadden to give you this news, but for different factors and circumstances we are not having the wedding we had planned. The marriage will still take place, but at a different time and place. We hope to have a grand celebration on our 1st anniversary, and we certainly hope that you will be able to attend.

We are sorry if this has caused you any inconvenience. Hoping that you will kindly understand, and wish us well on your future marriage.

Something saying and letting them know you are still getting married, just like you planned at first. I think having a party on your anniversary, or even announce a gathering at Christmas, come have eggnog it's just around the corner. Don't expect some people to attend, but you are going to highly upset some people, but others will understand, and agree with you.

Good luck, and I hope the family and friends are kind and understanding of the situation.....

God bless us all....................

Answer 5

The worst nightmare of any couple is the cancelled wedding. Despite months of preparation, things can still go wrong even at the moment of saying “I do.” From a cheating partner to having the extreme case of cold feet, one must remember to maintain wedding etiquette throughout the entire ordeal.

Depending on the seriousness of a cancelled wedding, one can still turn a failed occasion into a positive one. An obvious wedding etiquette procedure is to inform the family and guests that there will be no wedding celebration. If the wedding is cancelled a few days before the actual ceremony, sending cards to family and friends announcing the broken engagement is a suitable wedding etiquette.

All arrangements made for the wedding date itself should be cancelled. Some companies will ask for payment, an amount that could be equal to the preparations taken by the supplier. It is a wedding etiquette to handle all this with grace and finesse.

However, if the cancellation happens on the wedding date itself, the announcement must be made verbally and as soon as possible to avoid public humiliation. The family should use the wedding etiquette of comforting the one left at the altar and make it a point to shield him or her from other people since this is a sad situation.

Gift wedding etiquette should be followed. This means all the wedding gift items will be returned, including cash, appliances or properties. It will be hard to do but at least the aggrieved party will not be accused of impoliteness.

When calling off a wedding, it really is a proper wedding etiquette to do it months before the wedding date. That is what pre-marriage counseling is for. The wedding etiquette dictates that all couples should take marriage seminars to make sure that they are prepared emotionally and mentally for the huge responsibility ahead.

A broken engagement is embarrassing as it is but as a wedding etiquette, you have the freedom not to question the couple why they decided not to continue with the wedding. And being the couple, you also have the right not to tell anyone until you feel you are ready.

Not all broken engagements happen because of a lonely partner. When a relative’s death occurs, it is proper wedding etiquette to cancel the wedding. This shows wedding etiquette in respect to the deceased’s family and expresses sincere sorrow.

Proper wedding etiquette is to allow six months to pass before attempting to walk down the aisle again. And even if the couple decides to wed two to three months after the death in the family, one must be ready to simplify the ceremony to observe wedding etiquette.

Engagements broken by family members also happen. If this occurs, try to resolve the matter as discretely a possible. Wedding etiquette dictates that only the couple can decide on canceling the weeding or postponing it to a later date.

When a partner is left cold on the altar:

Things can become worse but you can also turn it into a positive one. If the wedding reception has been paid for, the person who paid for it can use the reception and continue on with the party for the guests’ benefit. Wedding etiquette may not require the aggravated person to attend but it is a better way to forget the embarrassment.

When the cancelled wedding occurs out of town, it is an important wedding etiquette to have a clear head and sort out the pre-made plans of the wedding. Things like the honeymoon trip and the hotel accommodations must be taken cared of. If the aggrieved party has paid for the trip, he or she can choose to take it as a getaway and period of reflection.

Bouncing back from the broken engagement:

The first few weeks are the toughest to face. Be prepared to here the question “Why?” and “What happened?” a lot. Wedding etiquette dictates that you have to face these people with a smile and offer as little detail as possible.

As attractive as the sound of revenge is, you must try to keep an open mind and be as civil about everything a possible. Remember that this person once had an important part of your life and part of a wedding etiquette is to respect their decision.

Answer 6

There are many many ways to cut your wedding budget. It seems like you do have some sort of money bag to pull from for the event and honeymoon. Have you tried making the reception a cake and cocktails reception? And maybe have it at a local pretty park? After looking over your question and the answers already given, i agree with the guy who said that you need some class. Blowing off friends and family whom you've already asked to a party to have a bigger honeymoon seems immature. Overall its your decision on if you want to blow off family for an extra week in Vegas or if you want to celebrate at a smaller reception with your family.
Good Luck!

Answer 7

First you say the wedding is too expensive, then you say that you are going to spend the same amount of money on a great honeymoon. I'm sorry, you don't need a way to explain this with class. YOU NEED CLASS!!!

Answer 8

I would just tell everyone that you're sorry for the inconvenience that you have cussed.but we are canceling our wedding because of the expenses.and were going to use the money that we would have spent. on the wedding to go on a better honeymoon.once again we are very sorry to cause any problems for any or all of you.that were coming to the wedding.good luck

Answer 9

Do it as soon as possible. Just get a nice stationary and jot a short explanation and mail it out to everyone you invited. You don't have to tell everyone the exact reasoning behind the cancellation just that plans have changed. Good luck and congratulations.

Answer 10

As long as people haven't purchased airline tickets yet, how you do it isn't that important, as long as people find out as soon as possible so they can change their schedules accordingly.

I would suggest a mass-notice as soon as possible with an apology for inconvenience; if you are fairly well off, I would suggest an extra step in offering to split the cost of cancelled travel plans, if any. Ask mom and dad for help if necessary, with that.