ok, she's one, her dad has pretty much been out of her life for the past 11 months, we had a hearing and the judge wouldn't grant me the supervised visitation i wanted, instead he will be able to take her to his house without her knowing him. last time she saw him was 3 months ago and she cried to the point of getting sick when he held her. i'm worried about how this will affect her emotionally, will she loose her trust in me, for letting him take her, how long will it take her to get over something like this.
2006-08-28 07:25:29 · 8 answers · asked by somegirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
This is the age (10 - 18 months) that ANY stranger, much less her father, is scary. It's called stranger anxiety. My little girl is 13 mo. and screams when she has to go by or even be held by anyone that she doesn't know. A few trips with her Dad and she will be fine, assuming that he treats her well.
2006-08-28 07:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it would be best on your part to never bad mouth the father and possibly talk him up to her. There is a reason that she cries in the first place. What was the cause of that. It could be because he is a stranger. That means that you need to reset communcation with the father. I know that you don't want to, but if you both love the child then that is where it needs to come from. If he refuses to talk in a communicative manner, then tell him that he obviously cares nothing for the child. That is what it is all about and you must set aside all of the complexities that you have had with the father. It is not about you two, it is about the child. He needs to visit with both of you in the begining so that your daughter can see that he is a good person that loves her. Encourage him to play with her at your place and let her get comfortable.
2006-08-28 07:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Metacoma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, you two are obviously apart for a reason, and with the courts involved, it could not be a pleasant thing. So what I am suggesting may not be the most practical, depending on your situation, but it is only a suggestion for your daughter.
Try meeting up with him in a public place with your daughter. Just handing her over cold turkey like that, could definatly traumatize her, beings as how she has no idea who he is. You both as her parents need to take that fact into consideration and make effort for her, even if its for only an hour or two. 1 year old sadly is too young to explain who he is, but if she sees that you are ok with this, then it will be easier on HER. No matter what your feelings are towards him, as it is a court order, its something that has to be dealt with, but for your daughters sake, make it as easy on her as you possibly can. And don't fight, because that will only affect your daughter as well.
I have 2 step kids, who have to visit with their mother every other weekend due to court order. Its a difficult thing from either side, but I know now that my husband was correct in making sure that there was no fighting between parents for the kids' sake. But my boys knew me before they came to live with us, which made for an easier transistion when weekends came around.
Hope she handles things ok! Best wishes.
2006-08-28 07:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by saintlyinnocents 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear about this but in time she will familarise herself with him,not sure how long it willl take but what you will find is that after the first visit she will be calmer,she is spending time with him on his own so she will get to no him alot quicker than if you were there aswell,if she continues to cry throughout the visit maybe you and the dad tcan come to an agreement you both spend time with her till she nos him better.its unlickly it will do long term damage as she is only one and wont get tramatises by the thought of seeing her dad.i no its hard but try not to worry.she will thank you in the end for letting her have a relationship with her dad,only good can come out of this.all the best
2006-08-28 07:41:50 · answer #4 · answered by sammydeea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happend to me when i was young. I was traumatized from it till i was about 12....I'm not trying to scare you but its true. Then from 12 on i was a "out of control" teen. This might not happen to your daughter (god i hope not) but it did to me. To this very day i am still uncomfortable around my own father. good luck
2006-08-28 07:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by CMA 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just going to take time, hopefully he will treat her well, and she will eventually get used to him. It's a normal reaction, but If he is a good father to her, she will be fine.
2006-08-28 07:31:48 · answer #6 · answered by mmw108 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either he is a stranger to her, she does not like him, she does not like to be away from you, she has to get used to him, or the father (or maybe other family members or strangers who knows) is a child molester or he beats her.
2006-08-28 08:12:45 · answer #7 · answered by averilyn06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kitt do a lookup on the childs father. He maybe a child molestor !!
2006-08-28 07:31:58 · answer #8 · answered by Michael_Knight_TrollRIder 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋