I have been seeing my new girlfriend for a couple of months now and it is pretty serious. I met her 6 year old son for the first time this weekend. The first day went really well and we all had a great time - especially her son! However today was a whole different kettle of fish! He got very jealous any time we went near each other and had continual tantrums, finally resorting to kicking his mum and drawing pictures of bad things happening to her! I played with him and we all played together all day, and we had a picnic but this afternoon he changed his attitude. I don't have any problem with him - he is the most important thing in her life and I have no intention of getting in the way, but having no experience with this situation - or children at all - I don't know how to progress. He has accepted his dad's new girlfriend without a problem, but he lives with his mum and is scared he's going to lose her like he 'lost' his dad.
Any advice would be appreciated?
2006-08-28 07:07:36 · 9 answers · asked by Steve 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think that problem just goes along with any mother child-boyfriend relationship. I think you might just have to accept that it might be a bumby road for you if you stay with a girlfriend who has a child. Your probily right, he is scared he will loose his mom, I think he's more worried about you because your a guy, and the same sex as him so there is more competition for his mothers affection. He wouldn't be jelous of another women hooking up with his dad becasue the attention from her would be different, your like a fauther figure to him now.
2006-08-28 07:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by Star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband had to go through this when we got together. My son was the same way. You are absolutely right when you say that your gf's son is scared of losing her. Up till now, the son has been the man in her life, and now you're trying to come into that. The most important thing to remember is that change is scary for kids, and right now he's going to test you and test his mom to find out a few things like, A) how serious this is, and B) how far can he get away with things. Just treat her son like you have been...be there for him too...but don't try to push a relationship with him. Just let him know that you aren't threatened by his presence in the relationship. It's a scary thing for a kid because they feel like if YOU come along they aren't going to be wanted anymore. Most importantly, talk to him like you would any other person..not like he's just some dumb kid. Kid's know when you're being "real" with them. Just give it time and he'll come around. Also, try to include him in things you guys do together because that will help him realize that YOU are not a threat to him and that just because you and his mom are together, you're not trying to take his mom away from him.
2006-08-28 07:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. MP 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is probably going to sound really dumb but it works. Take him out on small dates.........ha ha. Truly. Call and ask him if he would like to go fishing, or whatever it is the two of you like to do. Then have mom meet you for lunch. that way he will feel like you are his friend and mom is just tagging along for a while. After a few times, make it the three of you....then after awhile, time for mom and you.
2006-08-29 17:53:55 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just answered your own question....pretty much.."but he lives with his mum and is scared he's going to lose her like he 'lost' his dad". Moms are very important, and you might have some days where he doesnt like you... Just give him time, and show him that you are going to "take his mommy away" from him. When you reassure him of that, he will come around to you more often. ..Remember he IS only 6 years old.
2006-08-28 07:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give it some time he is just trying ot get use to the idea of his mom dating it has nothing to do with you he is just worried that if she starts dating that she will stop forgeting about him but you have to let him know that you are not trying to replace his dad or get in the way of him and his mom.
2006-08-28 11:06:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all i can say it takes time if you love the mom then you will stick it out and do what it takes.I have a stepdaughter and we won't ever fully accept each other she is jealous of her dad but she is used to not being no.1 All kids settle and accept it eventually.There will be some tough times but hang in there.
2006-08-28 07:47:10 · answer #6 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's your age? in case you elope the position do you want to bypass do you've a thanks to live to inform the tale there? What perhaps the outcomes for your household? although that you being the lady in case you elope and likewise you ultimately get slightly one then he sees yet another woman and lyks her and starts off dishonest on you who're you going to reveal to? that's continually love yet that you ought to over come it in my opinion i have been in a position to conquer love like that.It took me more beneficial than 3 years notwithstanding I did over come immediately i'm plenty happier. Even you will see that some one else and fall in love with them. yet when you on your on devoid of counting on him can help your self and slightly one even as one comes or something volume then that you may have self assurance of eloping. adult men will maximum situations to discover diverse females who're more beneficial captivating than you so that you and have self assurance me even him you won't be able to coverage his faithfulness.
2016-11-28 02:46:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be really kind too him even if he isnt nice to you.. hell get used 2 u soon but it will be hard for him and he may never like you fully
2006-08-28 07:14:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is 6 tell him that you want to be in both his and his moms life and you are not planning on taking his mom away from him.
2006-08-28 07:15:41 · answer #9 · answered by hedley_20 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋