Putting kids in Time out.?

Question

I try to put my son in time out on a seat somewhere but it is impossible to keep him there. A few times I have gotten so mad and are afraid of hurting him I have put him in his rooma nd shut the door for 2 whole minutes and that's his time out. I've done this when for example I am on a very important phone call and he is screaming and hitting me or biting me.
I know this is probably not right but has anyone else done that? Because although I have heard that a parent should not do this I encounter many parents who say they've done it.

Answer 1

I have to put my son in his room also. And, if he gets off his bed or if asks if he can get up another minute is added to his time. Finally he will figure it out that unil he sits on his bed quietly for a certain amount of time he is not going to get up. It takes my son a few minutes to give in every time I have to do this but I just stick to my guns, and once he is finally quiet I make him sit there for 4 mins (my son is 4 years old) for the original offense & 1 min extra for everytime he got up or asked to get up. He doesn't fight it so much the next time. Hope it works for you. Good luck.

Answer 2

Children can be very resourceful when it comes to getting what they want. Kids seem to learn early that mom has little will-power when they are on the phone. A time-out can be a very useful discipline method, but for it to be successful, it must be done in the right way. My tried and true time-out policy is one minute of time-out for every year old a child is. Time out is spent in one specific chair away from everyone else with time kept on a kitchen time. After serving time-out, we have a little chat (which is generally more painful than the actual time out - having to sit for a lecture can be excrutiating!). Sitting throughout the time-out is not optional. If the child gets up, I put him back in the chair and restart the timer. I will do this as many times as it takes for the child to know that I mean what I say. It is helpful to plan ahead if you know you are going to have to be on the phone for an important reason. Give him the heads up before making the call that you will be busy and he needs to be quiet while you are on the phone. One very creative mom I know put together a special box for her little ones filled with cool stuff they could play with while she was on the phone only. It worked great. If the call comes to you while you are playing then be sure to let him know that you have to talk to someone, but you will play with him when you are done. Be sure to follow through and do it. It is not rude to ask a caller to either wait or for you to call them back if you need to get your son situated before talking. 2 minutes in his room while you are angry is pretty harmless. Sometimes it is best for everyone involved to be apart for a few minutes until the volatile situation blows over. I have made some pretty bad parenting blunders and was sure one of my kids would grow up scarred for life, but so far, no mass murderers in the group and only one is in therapy. LOL

Answer 3

I have never heard anyone say don't do it. Maybe the reasoning behind it was that they feel thats ignoring the situation. Personaly, thats how I manage to actually get through to my kids. When I put them in the corner they actually tend to bad-mouth more, instead of taking the punishment. So, I send them to their rooms and don't allow them to come and go as they please, removing them from the situation. After a certain amount of time I talk to them, or lecture, whichever the case may be lol.
But as a side suggestion, you might try to find a different way to clamp down on his screaming, hitting and biting. I have found personaly, the one thing that really works on them is putting them through the one thing they hate the most. It sounds evil, but if you put a time limit on it, then its not so bad. But the reasoning behind that is because they will learn that they will not be put in the place they hate the most if they don't exert this type of behavior.
I have 2 step kids who were diagnosed with ADHD. One of them has shown that kind of behavior by screaming, arguing incessantly, throwing things. The medicine that he has to take only goes so far because I refuse to allow a high dose. I told the doctors I believed the bad behavior would have to be dealt with. I rarely see the violent side of him anymore. In fact now when he gets upset, he stomps off to his room, cools off for a bit, then I go and tell him that the attitude is not ok, and if he wants to come out then fine, but if I see it anymore, its back to his room.
Children who are like this, learn very little from spanking or slapping, as much of a good idea as it seems at the time, it doesn't get through to them as much as separating them from the situation does.
A class my husband and I sat through introduced a rather interesting idea that I tried out and found it worked amazingly well, was the reward system. Its hard to break into, its hard to make them understand, but they understand consistancy. They understand that if they do something bad, they will not get something they enjoy, but rather something they hate. On the opposite end, should they display good behavior, that gets rewarded. And also, don't underestimate talking to your child. They are not simple minded and can understand what you are saying to them.
Hope that helps!

Answer 4

okay so first of all YOU ARE THE PARENT!! you need to establish this with your son. hitting and biting is unacceptable. when my son goes into time out i sit right in front of him until time out is over. NO MATTER WHAT he stays in that seat for a minute for each year of his life. i think putting him in his room is a good idea. not all the time but we have to do that sometimes to get the point across.

just be patient and consistent. that is the only thing that will help you in this situation

Answer 5

I don't see anything wrong with putting him in his room and shutting the door. My daughter is 9 months old and when she's having one of her "I want to be spoiled" days, I put her in her room with all her toys and shut the door slightly. I do check on her every few minutes though. She cries for the first few minutes, but then continues on to play by herself and with her toys. So I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. I am concerned though because your child should not be hitting or biting you. This might indicate that your child does or may have some psycological issues.

Answer 6

I put my daughter in the crib on strap her in the high chair where she can stay for 2-5 minutes and doesn't get any attention or toys. It usually works. Try that sometime and don't be in the same room when she is having her time out.
And if you are afraid that you might hurt him, just go in your room and think about how much you love your child and how happy you were when he was born and the things that he does now in his own ways . Think of how proud you are of him. Its better to calm down than to regret your actions
Good luck

Answer 7

Yep, I think we all have done that... I started with mine this summer.. when the phone rings.. NO ONE makes a sound.... then turn it into a game on who can be quiet the longest... if they disturb me while I am on the phone.. off to the room they go, then I get them after I hang up... to me in a home situation, time out is a joke sometimes... in a school or daycare situation they probably work better....

Answer 8

I put my daughter in her room and shut the door also... She screams and cries and might even get it open but she will not come out until I tell her to. Also try the I'm going to count to three and then you'll go to your room (or take something away or whatever) the important thing is to follow through. If they don't do what you ask like stop kicking then put them in their room or take away toys.

Answer 9

If his room is his timeout seat that's fine. Do not worry about being too harsh of a parent. You're not. Your son should never be physically harassing you. I'd work on that first or you'll be showing your son that he can act out without getting punished, which is very bad.

Answer 10

i have done it a couple times you just get so frustrated you don't know what else to do. try taking stuff away or making him stand in a corner in a different room where noone is. also try rewarding him tell him if he can be good for 5, 10, 15 min. and so on you will give him a surprise. thats what works on mine also try when you tell him its a surprise never tell him what it is my kids will sit down and try and figure it out it keeps em quiet