Do you find it easy to forgive and forget?

Question

when someone does or say's something to you that really upset you, can and have you forgiven them and forgotten what they said? When ppl do it to me i try to forget about it and forgive them but i can't, i try not to hold grudges but when i speak to some ppl i still think of what they said and treat them a little differently to how i used to.

Answer 1

Generally, when someone does bad by me, I find it in myself to forgive... but never forget. That way, I know to keep my guard up enough to not become anyone's personal doormat.

Answer 2

Forgiving and Forgetting are two diffrent things. You have to learn that people make mistakes, and usually the people that hurt you the most are the ones closes to you. If you want them in your life you have to be willing to forgive them. You will never forget the things that they have said or done, it will always be in the back of your mind but if they are trying then give them a chance and forgive them. You have to remember that people can and will change if you give them the chance. Sit down and talk to them find out why they did what they did your said what they said. Get the answers to your questions, then move on. When you start to think about it also think about the good things they have said and done since then and try no to get mad at them all over again. If you cant forgive and move on then you shouldnt have them in your life because you will always feel bad and it will always come between you.

Answer 3

I forgive and forget very easily most of the time, but never occasionally. It depends on the person who did this upsetting thing. If it's someone I like and think is a good person I can get along with in the future, then I can forgive very quickly. I don't forget (i have a good memory :) ), but I do forgive and don't hold it against them.

If they are someone I'm not particularily fond of, then it's just another reason not to have anything to do with them for the rest of my life.

I've always hoped there would be more people like me, but almost everyone I know couldn't forgive to save their lives.

I hope you learn to forgive. It's remarkable how much better it will make you feel. There is no point in forgetting. And chances are you never will.

My best advice for getting better at forgiving is to become more understanding. Other people have lives of their own, and from time to time they may not be thinking about you when they do or say certain things. But that's not a bad thing. It is unfair to expect the world to think about us all the time. It's when they don't think about how their actions affect us more often than they do (think), that it may be time to not forgive, but eject :)

Answer 4

It can be difficult to forgive and forget depending on how badly a person hurt you by what they said or did. For me, I find it very easy to forgive, but not easy to forget. As a matter a fact, you should not forget because you have to learn from your experiences, but when you forgive, you can move forward with your life without a lot of pain. Don't practice to carry hatred in your heart either. When you hate someone, you only hurt yourself because most of the time they don't know that you hate them and if they do, they don't care. Hatred only give you a very painful feeling in your heart. I usually forgive them, then I pray and ask God to forgive them, then I feel a lot better. Don't feel badly if you treat them a little different. The fact is that you are still talking to them, but when you treat them different, it is because you are only protecting yourself from it happening again due to how much the experience hurt you. Everyone is different and handle the same situations in a different way, so don't think you are a bad person because you do not handle it as easily as someone else. You will gradually find a way to deal with things like that as you get older and go through more experiences. I am proud of you for even trying.

Answer 5

The truth of it is that "forgiving and forgetting" really depends on both parties, not just you. I know, I know - the "Christian" ideal is to turn the other cheek and forgive and forget without regard to the other person, but the truth of the matter is that if someone hurts you or upsets you, and either does not acknowledge it or explain it or apologize for it, then you are pretty much left with a purely altruistic endeavor on your hands. On the other hand, if they are truly sorry then it is much easier to forgive and forget. If they apologize but are insincere ("Gee, I'm sorry you felt hurt.") then it's even harder to forgive and forget.

I think, in the long run, forgiving but not forgetting how you have been treated is the truth of how we are as human beings. And I don't think that is so bad. You note that you try not to hold grudges and yet you treat people differently when you know how you have been treated in the past - those are consequences...those are the consequences to the people who have treated you badly in the past. (Actually, these are also consequences for people who have treated you well! If you are treated well, then you respond more positively toward those people in the future.) I think that, without consequences, no one has the chance to learn and alter their behavior in the future.

Answer 6

it is really hard for me to forgive and forget especially the forgetting part. I try to talk to the person that has hurt me and explain to them that i forgive you but that doesn't mean that i will forget, it will always be in the back of my mind, especially when they do it again. I can for give a person once but twice for the same mistake is impossible.

Answer 7

Well I personally have found it a lot easier to forgive someone than to forget about the wrong; and I'm not real sure that it (the wrong) should be completely forgotten,because then one could be leaving themselves open for the same wrong to be perpetrated again on you...

Answer 8

It is easier to forgive then to forget... but, in order to do both... you must feel that this person is truly sorry and you must try not to act any differently around them. Keeping up the normal patterns should make it easier to forgive and forget! Good luck.

Answer 9

I am holding grudges from kindergarten!

I hate more people, than most people even know!


I can not and will not ever forget or forgive what people have done to me.

Answer 10

On some things its easier to forgive then forget. I don't hold grudges, but I don't usually forget what was done to me either. That way I can learn from that mistake.

Answer 11

I used to be like that when I was younger...had a hard time with grudges....but then I realized....it hurt ME more than it hurt them....so...........why would I want to make my life worse? It's a pride thing when you stay angry. You feel that if you forgive them...that they somehow won. Not true...if you forgive them....YOU WIN! They will have their own cross to carry in the end.....what goes around always comes around on it's own. You don't have the responsiblitly to make that happen. It happens on it's own. But....remember....stay away from negative people. If they are bad for your life...don't hold grudges...just stay away from them....and move on...