My sister is getting married in November to a wonderful man. It's going to be a formal event. I love her dearly, but she is a fashion slave. She wears whatever is in style, regardless of how it looks on her. Most of her firends are just as bad, so they encourage her to wear clothing not meant for her plus size pear figure. In school, she was alwyas very preppy because her friends were. In college, she started dating a guy from Texas, so all of a sudden cowboy boots and Stetson hats were a staple in her wardrobe. After they broke up, she went back to the prep. I don't care most of the time, I love her no matter what. But I'm trying to show that she follows other people's fashion, not her own sense of style (if she has any.)
Our mother just plain has no taste, and freely admits it. She has no clue about how to pick clothing to flatter her figure or her coloring. They have asked my advice for a dress for her, since they both seem to think I have good taste.
2006-08-28 05:40:06 · 11 answers · asked by welches_grape_jelly 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
BUT, after I sent my style suggestions and dress reccomendations, they rejected them. Now I'm unsure if I should try again, or keep my big fat nose out of it. I get so tired of people making rude insulting remarks about my mother and the way she dresses, but I don't want to step on my sister's toes. After all, it's HER wedding. I wish I could be there when they select the dress, but I have no one to stay with my kids for the week that they are going shopping. My mother and I live in VA, and my sister is in ST. Louis, so day trips are out.
I've picked out dresses like this:
http://www.audreysmotherofthebride.com/site/906987/product/SCA781L
While my sister has picked out dresses like this:
http://www.audreysmotherofthebride.com/site/906987/product/NIG660
I was just wondering, would you butt out, or would you press on with suggestions that would look good. I don't think that a traditional dress style looks good on my mother, she's a tall plus size woman with very large curves.
2006-08-28 05:49:05 · update #1
Maybe I need to clarify, the dress is for our mother. My sister can wear whatever she wants, I don't care. But our mom is clueless about how to shop, and I've seen her in tears at functions because of someone's thoughtless comments or insults got back to her. I really don't want a repete at my sister's wedding.
I am curious as to how other people would respond. Would you stay out of your mother dress fashion, or would you keep on trying when you know the two people choosing the dress have poor taste and style sense?
2006-08-28 06:54:27 · update #2
If it was any other function I would say raise your white flag and surrender.
However... it is a wedding.... meaning that everyone that your mom knows in the world will potentially be there. Also, wedding photos are around FOREVER and are constantly being shown to everyone and anyone who will look. So, definitely take charge and make sure your mom looks her best.
Hmmmm.... how to approach the subject? Maybe mention to both of them that it would be nice to have a fresh opinion with fresh ideas. Ask a non family member to tag along for a day of dress shopping. Also, ask as many random people in the shops for their opinions. Oh, and bring a digital camera so you can see the photos at home later.
Hope that helps.
2006-08-28 10:27:21 · answer #1 · answered by Moonshimmer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Butt out. They asked your opinion, and you gave it. That doesn't mean that you are the final decision maker. Doing any more than what you have already done, what you were asked to do, will subtly tell your mom that you too are critical of her fashion sense.
I don't think you realize that a woman's personality has to be taken into consideration. The red dress you chose requires much more self-confidence than the blue one someone else chose. The red one would also be much more uncomfortable than the blue.
About the only thing you can do without being rude is to explain to your mom why you chose those dresses (i.e. the color is great for her, the cut is flattering, etc.). This would give her guidelines to follow when she looks at dresses. But keep in mind that she does need to look like her at the wedding, albeit a prettier version of her.
2006-08-28 07:49:37 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can't make her listen to your suggestions, but I do have an idea.
You can tell her a great place to go where they will show her things that will look great on her.
My best friend (and me, and the other girls that are bridesmaids) are plus size, so we figured dress hunting would suck which it did until we found a great bridal store where they were super and very helpful. They helped Jenny pick out things that she would like but also gave their "professional" opinion when helping her. It seemed to guide her in the right direction, and we ended up finding "the dress" there.
The plus for you is that I am from St. Louis. We went to this great store on S. Hampton, Clarice's Bridal (www.claricesbridal.com). Tell her to call them up and set up an appointment. She won't regret it, and they won't let her walk out of the store in something "unflattering".
Good Luck!
2006-08-28 07:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by Laura 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i guess it depends on how they rejected your previous suggestions. did they just not like those particular dresses or were they less than enthusiastic about going with something other than what they chose when it came down to it? i think, since you were invited to help choose, i would keep coming up with suggestions, telling your sister how the dress compliments her good points (in a matter-of-fact way, not an exasperated, "why-don't-you-listen-to-me?" way) and ultimately, let them decide. it is her day and they are responsible for their own actions. i know this can be painful, but your sister will never be happy about her wedding unless she is beautiful in her own eyes.
2006-08-28 06:15:42 · answer #4 · answered by debbie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think both of the dresses are stunning. maybe you can explain to your mom your concerns, and that you just don't want to see her be hurt again. is there anyone else that can go shopping with them in your place who has good taste that they might listen to? maybe if you know the shops they're planning on going to you can call and speak to a manager and make some suggestions?
2006-08-28 19:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by kiki 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see a problem with either of those dresses. Maybe you should suggest that the women that work at the boutique pick out choices for your mom and let her decide what she wants to buy.
2006-08-28 05:54:37 · answer #6 · answered by qtpie2526 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You aren't going to change your sister, so accept that.
As far as mother, depending on the formality of the wedding, find something flattering to her figure, her coloring & of classic design.
2006-08-28 05:45:30 · answer #7 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i imagine it really is stylish:) i love lengthy solar clothing. and the white makes it extra stylish and straightforward. i'm not diggin the shoulder straps on it even with the undeniable fact that. If it became strapless it might seem a lot extra constructive! yet in case you wore a jean jacket or cute lengthy necklace it might seem cute for spring:) And if it really is you contained in the image you're very fairly and it flatters you properly :)
2016-12-05 19:39:11 · answer #8 · answered by barras 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either one will be fine. Stop worrying about it. If they want to look silly then let them look silly, just worry about yourself and how you look better than they do!
2006-08-28 05:53:10 · answer #9 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what's the question?
2006-08-28 05:43:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋