Here is my story. My sons father has not called or seen his son since July 16th when he left my parents house drunk. He wanted to take my son with him and I wouldn't let him. He has an 8 year old daughter who he loves and who isn't very pleasant to be around. My son is adorable sweet loving and adores his dad, but he doesn't care he was mad at me that night and has since taken it out on his son. He doesn't give me child support or anything. My son asks for him all the time adn I have to lie to him and tell him daddy is working. He has been on vacation since last week and has his daughter but doesn't even bother to get his son.Why? This is so hurtful. To my son and to me because I feel bad for him.
2006-08-28 05:36:45 · 18 answers · asked by shegirl 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
ok basically i dont think its about he loves his daughter more. if he doesnt pay you child support then you need to take him to court and make sure u get some because u didnt make that baby all by urself. you cant make him see your son but you need to tell him to spend time with him and to come around and not to treat his son like that just because he is mad at u.
2006-08-28 05:44:16 · answer #1 · answered by prettykittybangs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Misery loves company? Sounds like that old adage might in order here.
Don't lie to your son though, it's not fair that he thinks of his father in one way when the truth is otherwise. He'll be able to accept it easier now, then when he's 15 and yells at you that he's going to go live with his Dad and Dad says no. He won't understand why, and all your reassurances and little white lies while he was younger will come back and he'll not appreciate it very much.
Might I drop this little gem of wisdom on you as well...if you aren't getting child support, go to court and demand it. I have an 17 year old daughter (she'll be 18 in November) and a 13 year old daughter who's father has never paid anything for either of them since the day they were born. It's been hard for me to cope at times without that, and I kick myself over and over again because I was too softhearted to go after what I rightly deserved.
Make your son's father appreciate YOUR sacrifices, make him realize WHY he can't come over drunk and pick your son up. If he doesn't want to live by YOUR rules, then there's nothing you can do to help him, I'd suggest going to court to sue for full custody, if there is a joint arrangement set up, just on the basis of the child endangerment standpoint.
2006-08-28 05:46:51 · answer #2 · answered by emeraldseye 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for your son and for you but to tell the truth your son is probably better off. Do you really want that man as a constant influence in your sons life? Then your wonderful, lovable son may grow up to be an as$hole like his sorry excuse for a father. You sound like a level headed woman, what did you see in a man like that? Just love your son and YOU raise him to be a respectable young man. Good luck.
2006-08-28 06:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by girlfromflorida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is selfish and thinks only of what he wants. he drinks and dosn't think of how it effects his family. he only does what he wants and dosn't care how it affects others. he is a bad father because he dosn't take care of all his children in the same manner. he is retarded and shortsited because he cannot see the damage this will cause his son in the future. he is basically a bad selfish person.
people like that should not reproduce because they create people like them and they make the world a bad place. leave the guy and don't have any more babies with him. and get your daughter back cuz he is probably a bad influence on her.
and you as a mother should never say that your daughter isn't pleasant to be around. how could you say that? in actuality you are doing exactly what he is doing, taking sides.
2006-08-28 05:45:35 · answer #4 · answered by gillamacs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 9 year old son and a daughter who is 6, Dad seemed to favor our daughter and it broke my heart!!! However we are a married couple, and I did talk to him about it and he did come around, he didn't realize he was doing it. So talk to dad let him know how that makes you and his son feel. I'm sorry this is not much of a solution but I know how awful you must feel.
2006-08-28 05:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by rayngirl6 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all he doesnt sound like he deserves to be around your son. i to believe that it has just some resentment towards you. is the girl you child as well????? if your not getting child support, you can and you should be, contact your lawyer and he will have to pay everthing he owes you and will have to keep paying through the years. if he isnt going to be a good dad he can atleast help you be a great mom. you might should ask the man why doesnt he want to see his son, then again people always want what they cant have so take his privelidges away and he will see things different. my heart goes out to you and your son
2006-08-28 05:44:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like ur sons father is a jerk. im sorry, and i can imagine just how much that hurts u and, especially, ur son. my dad doesnt live in the midwest, and i sometimes feel that way 2. of ur better off w/o him, i hope he stays away. but hes wrong 2 not at least contact his son. he doesnt sound like a very good father figure.
god bless u and ur son, and i hope his father wakes up and realizes what he doing 2 him and what kind of example he is setting for not only his son, but his daughter 2.
2006-08-28 05:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by clueless 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can he love one more than he does the other? Yes. Especially if alcohol was a factor in this. It affects judgement. His behavior is meant to hurt you.. Also I take it the daughter is not yours biologically. You might ask him why he is treating the son as he is. It sound like you are going through a lot of adult junk. Don't let this affect the children.
2006-08-28 07:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by Spann M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe he loves one child more than the other. I believe he may be embarrassed and does not know how to confront him without "questions" that he may not be able to answer!
Try having your son call him without you around. If he is old enough. As long as you are sure the father is not a danger to your son.
2006-08-28 05:52:29 · answer #9 · answered by Neicy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know this can be very hurtful for you and your son. if he chooses to act this way, although it may be hard on your son, tell him he's not gonna allow him to see him anymore. tell him your son needs a full time father not a part time one. it sounds as if he will not go to court for visitation. if he is not giving you child support go and file for support. weather he wants to take responsibility or not, it's his obligation. And im sure sooner or later, if you have not already, you will find a MAN who will love your son as much as he loves you and treat him like his own.
2006-08-28 05:51:08 · answer #10 · answered by Jennifer M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋