tell me a joke?

Question

i need a gud joke please tell me 1

Answer 1

Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..

Answer 2

Okk, I hurd this one on Yahoo the other day...

3 men get ship wrecked on an island & are soon found by a pack a cannibals. They are brought to the head cannibal.
Head cannibal: If you want your freedom you must go off into the jungle and bring back 10 of a fruit.
So the three men set off on they're separate tracks.

The first man returns with 10 apples.
Head Cannibal: good! now shove each of those apple up your bum without any emotion. If you show emotion we will eat you!

So the man starts 1..2.. ARR he screams & he is killed.

The second man arrives with 10 berries.
Head Cannibal: good! now shove each of those berries up your bum without any emotion... if you show emotion we will eat you!

So he starts, thinking this should be easy 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8.. HAHAHA!! he got to 8 and burst out laughing. He was killed immediately.

The first man and second man meet in heaven.
First man: Why the hell did you laugh? You were almost there?
Seccond man: I couldn't help it i saw the third guy coming with pinapples!!!


Here are some more that I know...
Three guys are stuck in a jungle with a Huge beast. The beast tells the guys if they bring good food, than he wont eat them.
So the first guy goes and brings Hot Dogs. The beast eats it and is still hungry so he eats the first guy.
He tells the second guy the same thing. The second guy goes and brings mexican food. The beast eats it and is still hungry. So he eats the second guy.
He tells the third guy the same thing. If he brings good food, he wont eat him and he will spare his life. So the third guy goes and doesnt come back!


Three girls walk into a store. A parrot in his cage screams "white, pink, yellow"
The girls turn around to each other, and the first one sais, "Hey! Im wearing a white underwear!"
The second girl sais "Im wearing a pink underwear!"
The third one sais "Im wearing a yellow underwear!"
The girls shocked decided to play a little trick on the parott. So the next day they walk in, and the paratt yells, " white, white, white"
The girls stunned walk out of the shop.
The next day the girls walk in and the parott yells, "Curly, Straight, Bald!


Theres another one too, its an Armenian joke...
Vartanik dies and goes to Heaven. He meets a guy named Gurgen up there. He asks him how he died.
Gurgen tells him that he thought his wife was cheating on him, so he searched his whole house, when he didnt find anyone, he died of a heartattack.
Than Vartanik replies, "you idiot, if you checked the refrigerator, we both would have been alive!"

Answer 3

So there is this big elephant walking along and he steps on this thorn. Well he is too big to get the thorn out by himself so he just lays there. Then along comes a little field mouse. The mouse asks the elephant if it is ok. The elephant replies, "No, I have a thorn in my foot and can't get it out. Could you help me?" The mouse thinks for a minute and says, "Sure, on one condition." The elephant says, "Anything!" The mouse says, "You let me have my way with you." The elphant completely stunned by the mouse's request agrees due to the amount of pain he is enduring. So the mouse removes the thorn and just as he begins to have his way with the elephant a group of monkies come along and see this happening. They start to laugh and decide to throw coconuts at the elphant. Finally one of them hit the elephant and he let's out a huge yelp! And the mouse says, "That's right! Take it all *****!"

Answer 4

The Nun teaching church school was speaking to
her class one Sunday morning and she asked the question,
"When you die and go to heaven... which part of your body goes first?"

Mary raised her hand and said, "I think it's
your hands."

"Why do you think it's your hands"? Mary
replied, "...Because when you pray, you hold
your hands together in front of you and God
just takes your hands first!"

"Oh what a wonderful answer!" the Nun said.

Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."

The Nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Little Johnny, why do you think it would be your legs?"

Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into Mommy and
Daddy's bedroom the other night, Mommy had her
legs straight up in the air and she was screaming,
"O God, I'm coming!"
If Daddy hadn't had her pinned down, we'd have lost her."

The Nun fainted.

Answer 5

Eating with Children

A guy hosted a dinner party for people from work, including his boss.

All during the sit-down dinner, the host's three-year-old girl stared at her father's boss sitting across from her. The girl could hardly eat her food from staring.

The man checked his tie, felt his face for food, patted his hair in place, but nothing stopped her from staring at him. He tried his best to just ignore her but, finally it was too much for him.

He asked her, "Why are you staring at me?"

Everyone at the table had noticed her behavior and the table went quiet for her response.

The little girl said, "My Daddy said you drink like a fish and I don't want to miss it!"

Answer 6

The Cop asked the thief, "Why did you steal again, and this time from the same shop you had once stole from before??". The thief replied, "Well, it's not my fault, look what the sign on it's window says 'Thank you, visit again'.

Answer 7

One two three cat and Un deux trois cat are racing in a swimming pool. Who wins?

One two three cat because Un deux trois cat cinq(five in french) .

Answer 8

So there are these two muffins in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, am I baked." The other replies, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!"
enjoy :)