My parents have had a big arguement! It all started when my nan moved in. She drives me and my mum mad! A couple of weeks after she moved in she started complaining at my mum (who does evertything for her) cos there was to much food on my nans plate!!! But today mum had had enough after weeks of arguing and shouting and serving my nan she threw her out. But my dad said that he is goin with her!!! Help i dont know where i stand or what to do!!!
2006-08-28 05:27:58 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your mum did right id of kicked her out too
2006-08-28 06:09:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately the adults in your family are all acting like a bunch of little spoiled children. Your nan may be getting a little senile and your mom is totally stressed out. Your dad should be supporting your mom and trying to help resolve this situation instead of sitting back and letting it escalate and then going with his mom. There may be a lot of problems going on between your parents that you didn't know about. Where you stand has nothing to do with the way they act. I'm sure they both love you and you are not at fault. You can suggest counseling, but don't count on them listening. You should at least get counseling for yourself if you can't get them to go. You didn't say how old you are, but it hurts no matter what. Keep on being yourself and keep busy with activities that are good for you. Stand behind your mom, she needs you.
2006-08-28 05:33:06 · answer #2 · answered by Elizabeth L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Lady: Your parents have a conflict about how to take care of your nan in her later years. Often older people are cranky and disagreeable if they have an onset of Alzheimer's Disease or other dimentia problems. Your dad probably feels bad about the conflict he has between caring for his mother and his family. You mom feels bad because she can't take the constant bickering and your dad is not supporting her. But you know what, this is their problem. The best thing you can do is to tell them you love them, and you want what is best for all of you. Tell them how the situation affects you and that you need their help to get through this. Then find some help for yourself at school, church, or at a club where there are other adults to discuss your feelings.
2006-08-28 06:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by TLBFH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad should be adult enough to see that things aren't working out for your poor mum with your nan staying. He should realise this. If he's childish enough to have sat there and let all this happen, then just let him go with your nan and that'll give your mum peace and quiet. Your dad should be thankful that your mum's been looking after her (I take it your nan is your dad's mum?). Just let them get on with it - sounds as if your mum has done all she can out of the goodness of her own heart.
2006-08-28 06:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad will be back once everyone has calmed down but your parents need to have a long chat your dad must support his wife and help out .your nan is a guest all be it a long term one and must live by the house rules.
Is your nan happy there or would she prefer to live else where?
2006-08-28 23:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem sounds like your nan wants her little boy back to her self (IE, your dad), in the eyes of grandparents, there children never grow up, the best thing you can do, and i know you want to help them, but i would recommend that you stay out of it, what ever happens, both your parents will still love you and they will need you. Do not pick sides, if you do, it could backfire on you, let the 3 adults sort it out on their own.
2006-08-28 05:44:40 · answer #6 · answered by paul o 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately some parents don't realize that family is about mom, dad and kids, anybody else would only disturb the family. Just hug your mom and tell her you love her.
And your dad, well, ask him to talk to other people and get different opinions on how to handle this matter. I'll be the first one to tell him that if he wants to help one person don't hurt the other or it defeats the purpose. Tell him to set rules in his house for other people who would move in.
A good head of the household would never disturb the peace of his family.
Some people just can't be helped. You and you mom don't need help, is your dad who needs it.
I don't think your dad is going with the other person, I think he said it out of anger. Just be patient and you'll see tomorrow will be a new beautiful day for you and your mom.
2006-08-28 05:51:59 · answer #7 · answered by Mother of three 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks to me like theres a lack of communication between your mum n dad, Its your mums place to tell your dad wots been happening,, n cos your nan is his mum, its his place to sort her out..
If they have talked about it, n your dad isnt doing anything about your nan, then im sorry to say but yer dad is out of line....
Your mum n you should be his top prority, you are his family more now than your nan, he should be looking after your interests.
If I were you,, Id stay with your mum, n talk to your dad,, n tell him everthing you know, and how feel. After all,, he cant read your mind..
2006-08-28 05:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by badassbiker1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and stay on neutral territory. It's a problem for your Mum & Dad to resolve and they will both need your love and support whatever the outcome. Having an elderly relative move in to live with you can be very difficult and stressful and it is early days for everyone to get accostomed to the situation.
Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-08-28 05:32:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know from plenty of experience its hard to stay out of arguements when your parents are involved, usually id say stay out of it but if you just can sit down and explain to your dad how hard it has been having ure nan staying with ye and do this calmly and rationally. But to be honest this looks like an excuse for him to leave and id stay out of that side of things, if ure parents find it hard to talk to each other then you cant make them. if they knew how much this is upsetting you then they might come to some arrangement for your gran, and it doesnt mean your gran doesnt like your mother she is just old and it must be hard for her aswell having to stay with a family after maybe being on her own or she could have had her own routine aswell. just hold tight and everything will work out, be stong.
2006-08-28 07:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow that's hard on everyone, unfortunately you are not an adult and will not have much pull around there except to give your opinion if you want to but i do think sometimes it is hard but we have to realize we can not control everything we have to trust in a higher power that everything will work out for the best life is hard and we do not always know what to do not just as children but adults to we are all learning, your parents will figure out the right thing to do it just may take a while as for you maybe you could suggest a family meeting where you all get together sit down and talk about things trust me it is real awkward at first but then things get better
2006-08-28 05:49:45 · answer #11 · answered by dydy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋