I am all haunted by all this icky, yukky, disgusting stuff that happened to me when I was little. Just imagine pretty close to the worst kind of childhood nightmare come to life and you are pretty close to imagining the way I experienced life growing up.
It happened a long time ago, but I am still very affected.
I have real bad anxiety, post trauma, fear of intimacy, reclusive-ness, failure to thrive tendencies, all kinds of mental crud! So as a result I’m all jacked up! But I am trying to heal. I ask people for help. One person said, “In your past others abused you, now the only one abusing you is you. You are the one who is subjecting yourself to recurring, unending torture.”
What do you think he means by this? I have my ideas, but they don’t seem clear. I’d love to hear anything you have to add. Thank You.
2006-08-28 05:02:08 · 23 answers · asked by Sereny 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I'm sorry but, I have to disagree w/ the comment made by that individual. In fact, the person/s who abused you are still the ones abusing you. They have a hold on you emotionally and mentally and perhaps spiritually; which is completely understandable. As long as you suffer, it is still at the hands of the guilty. Letting go of abuse issues can literally take years of intense therapy. I hope you have been lucky enough to enlist the aid of a trusted mental health provider! Another suggestion is to find it in you somehow to forgive (NOT forget). Forgiveness doesn't mean having to agree or condone the behaviors! It does allow you to be freed of some lingering anger, sorrow, etc. Those feelings take SO much time and energy away from your life today. Those feelings can be self-consuming and allow for no healing or enjoyment of things/people around you now. Surround yourself with a strong network of a therapist, friends, and maybe even a member of clergy (Minister, Rabbi, whatever is appropriate). They can all be beneficial to your forgiving and small steps at moving on.
Good luck in your healing and God's blessings!
2006-08-28 05:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by shell 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
What he's trying to say is that as long as you continue to dredge up the memories, you're not going to be able to move on and heal.
However, what seems to escape this guy's attention is that because of the memories, you can't move on ... and the fact that they continually resurface is involuntary; its not like you WISH to feel the way you do.
I do sincerely hope you're seeking help from a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. There are many specialists available for the type of PTS you're suffering from. It will be a long road - and never easy, but you can get better and learn to stuff those awful memories into a box and lock them away for good!
2006-08-28 05:09:10 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Various method you can use to rid yourself of "your past". A therapist is good, but it has to be someone you trust enough to say exactly how you feel about what happened to you. You could also write it all down and then, after a short time, burn the papers. I know it may sound silly to do this but it can be very theraputic to express it all exactly as you feel it and while you're doing it keep telling yourself that you are doing it to get rid of it, literally "get it out of your system". You are carrying burdens that are not yours to carry. The offender is the guilty person here , not you. You should not suffer for someone else's sins. You deserve to get on with your life. I t may be painful to do but once you're done your life will change.
2006-08-28 05:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by worldhq101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing flashbacks are normal for the kind of abuse you went through. The trick is not to let it get you down and control your life. Being sexual abuse is a bad thing for any girl go through.
let me say that I also was sexual abuse by a family member and over the years i have finally got control over my life back. Most of the things you are experience are very normal and the feelings you are going through is also very normal. try and go get some kind of couseloring I think it might help you get some of these fears out and by working on the problems on step at the time. If you need any help you can always talk with me and I will be glad to help you any way i can
2006-08-28 05:19:09 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! What is up with some people. You need a therapist that practices EMDR. This is a great thing that was invented for veterans who were experiencing post traumatic stress. It basically puts holes in your memories so that even though you can still remember an event, you don't feel the emotional connection any more. I have done this for myself and it was hard work, but soooooo worth it.
2006-08-28 05:23:48 · answer #5 · answered by jazzyjklo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well unfortunately it is the truth, but it is not your fault, since your mind won't let go it is you that makes you the one that is still punishing yourself, have you tried hypnosis? I have heard it can work wonders for people, anyways don't take what that person said the wrong way, I know and you should know as well what happened when you were a child was not your own fault, unfortunately you have to be the one to try and find a way to heal yourself, keep trying and good luck
2006-08-28 05:10:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is wrong in my view. You want this to stop. It's not your fault by any means that these flashbacks keep coming back. They are hard to control. You would never inflict the pain brought about by the flashbacks on yourself. No one asks for that. Anyone who thinks other wise has never been there it a situation so scary that it embeds itself in your mind so that you can be reminded it of it when you're at your lowest
2006-08-28 10:39:04 · answer #7 · answered by storygurl_05 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I vote to go straight to the best psychiatrist you can find. Plus, I believe that God never lets you remember what you are not ready to face.....that is, with lots of professional help. I have been doing this for 20+ years and it is all so cleansing and healing.....the best is yet to come for you................go get help and know you are going to live a fabulous life when you can work through all this...........don't be afraid, but don't sit back and think a counselor can help you. Psychiatrists are highly trained Md's.
2006-09-02 15:21:23 · answer #8 · answered by Cassie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are allowing what others did to you in the past to continue to control your life. Whoever it was that hurt you a long time ago isn't doing it anymore, but you are allowing what that person did to influence your current life. I too had a traumatic upbringing, but I came to a conclusion one day that I wasn't going to let it bother me anymore. I was a child and non of it was my fault. You too, non of it was your fault. It's time that you get the pieces of your life arranged properly. Don't let the person or people from your past control your life anymore. They no longer get to tell you what to do, or how to feel. It's your turn to do what makes you happy and to be the person you want to be. Be confident and strong. I'm sure there's a beautiful person lurking around in there somewhere, let her out. It's not about making anyone but yourself happy from this moment on. One more thing, sometimes talking about it to someone you can truly trust...talking means completely letting your guard down, open up and talk about your fears and saying the things you're feeling inside out loud. It might help to get them out of your heart. Good luck and I hope you find inner peace!
2006-08-28 05:17:16 · answer #9 · answered by Passionfire 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He means dont let this negative have the power over u.
Get into good hobbies, and forget about the past.
Deep breathing exercises should help u, breathe in nose, concentrate on bellybutton, breathe out mouth.
Learn a good bible verse and that should block evil, neg.
feelings right fast....God bless u, u are okay.
2006-08-28 05:10:05 · answer #10 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋