Was this right?

Question

I was on the train in Los Angeles, it was packed, and an older, I’d say a middle aged woman, walks in. There are no seats. A young man, from his accent he sounds like a southerner, gets up and offers her his seat. She then goes on to yell at him about gender equality (practically screaming); everyone in the train was looking at them. The poor guy just went back to his seat looking surprised. Any way, maybe she was just having a bad day, but I think a simple no thank you would have sufficed, how about you.

I really wish know that I had told him somthing comforting, but that lady was real scary. I did not want her to go after me too!

Answer 1

No balanced person, sexist or not, behaves as unstabily as did the woman on the train. Something is wrong with her cognitively or psychologically. Hopefully, the young man recognizes that particular woman's morbidity and does not consider it a feeble-minded or convenient "proof" of some kind that no woman deserves courtesy.

Answer 2

You are right! I live in a large metro area and at times have ridden trains, buses and the subway to work. If someone infirm is left standing, someone offers a seat. Buses are even more polite than trains - most riders even thank the driver as they exit. Sometimes there's more at work than chivalry, when a young man offers a seat to a very healthy, very attractive lady. But in all cases I've seen, it's offered and either taken or declined in a friendly and civil way.

The woman you saw, I wonder what point she thought she was making about gender, and whether she thought she was successful in making the point.

Answer 3

I think the young man won't be offering his seat to anyone else real soon, which is sad.

I am "older," and have had some health problems in the past, and was always very grateful when someone offered me their seat! If I felt fine, I'd smile and shake my head, but some would insist.

As certain as she was of gender equality, he should have threatened to punch her in the nose for screaming at him!

Even better would have been if a woman had jumped in and said "Hey, lady, he didn't offer you his seat because you're female, he offered it to you because you're OLD!"

Answer 4

You're exactly right, "no thank you" would have been much better than a tirade. This was rude and insulting.

You can bet the young man won't make that "mistake" again - imagine being courteous a second time after that reception!

I frequently give up a seat to the elderly, or infirm, or if I see someone (of either gender) struggling to stand. Usually if the seat is not wanted, a verbal or non-verbal thanks is what I get, I'm pleased to say.

Good question!

Answer 5

It's possible that she was feeling touchy about her age ("Do I look so old that people think I can't stand for a few minutes?"). That's in no way an acceptable excuse, but it might explain it. And if he was a Southerner, that would explain his courtesy (and subsequent confusion at her reaction).

A simple "No, thank you," would have sufficed.

What's most unfortunate about this situation is that the man in question (and plenty of others who witnessed this woman's tirade) may be less likely to give up his seat to someone who needs it in the future.

Answer 6

You were right. In Japan, they are making badges for pregnant women to wear on the subway, so people will give them a seat. They also have special cars for women and children, so they do not have to put up with the men. A sign of the times.
I traveled recently, I used a privately owned parking garage and shuttle service. I was left standing up in the shuttle.The driver turned around in his seat, and said," I know there are some gentlemen here." Several men, begrudgingly got up. I took the seat of the one who appologized for not thinking, and thanked him. Same trip, public transportation, and I was left standing, the men pushed past me to get a seat. I was too short to reach the hold bar, and wondering how I was to keep my balance, I found out how. I clung to a crossbar for dear life. No one moved. I stared at the very young man I was standing next to, he avoided my look. I asked him if he would scoot over so I could put my knee against the seat, he laughed and turned to talk to his buxom blonde companion. I finally said, I hope I don't fall into someone's lap, I think that might hurt someone, and a man further back held the seat for me as he was getting off.
Women's lib was great for the workplace, but gentlemen, women are not your physical equals. Some come close, but not all. We appreciate the offer to give up a seat, and really, do you want some old fat woman perched above you, with nothing to hold onto, on a Las Vegas tourist bus that is taking corners into and out of Casino parking lots on two wheels? Does the word squished mean anything to you?
I would have tried to say something to the nice guy, caught his eye and smiled. He was right, she was wrong. and she was messing it up for the next woman, who might really need that seat. No, thanks, or I'm a womans libber, no thanks, would have made her point for everyone in hearing distance.

Answer 7

Yes you are right. I dont know what was driving the lady mad. If she was normal, then she must have also felt bad after the temper got normal. Any ways i think what we all know is that "soft words penetrate hearts". So it is best to be polite if you want to convince others about your verdict. If the lady politely and briefly mentioned her point of view about gender equality after saying "no thanks", then it would have placed both parties in a much comfortable situation

Answer 8

that was just good manners....now that'll make him think twice about offering a seat or anything nice...then he too will become rude and scary...and make someone else become rude and scary and so on and so on..It'd be so much nicer if good manners caught on like this...you know, if she would've taken the seat said "thank you" two other young men seen this and held a door open for someone else and so on and so on.The fact is people are becoming scared of being nice.Afraid to seem weak or get their butts chewed out,their heads bit off and jumped down their throat.It's easier for people to keep to themselves and avoid any uncomfotable situations.
sad, huh?

Answer 9

A lot of women of that age group seem to be very offended when someone younger or offers them a seat. I don't know if they're edgy because it reminds them that they are getting older or what, but I see it very often on my bus route. Whether you're male or female & do this they just seem to go bonkers.

Answer 10

This is one of the excesses that make people consider all feminists as crazy cows. That's a shame. I mean "gender equality" doesn't prevent people from being polite and considerate. I just hope this guy won't lose his good manners because of this woman.