2006-08-28 04:12:45 · 13 answers · asked by Laura A 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
How close are you to the bride? The reason I am asking this is if you are close you may want to give a little bit more. If not, you may want to consider combining funds with the other bridesmaids.
You are already putting money out for the dress, shoes, etc. You are probably buying bridal shower gifts, too.
The are other options: 1) give a gift from the bridal registry (nothing too expensive- kitchen stuff is always nice)
2) Give money. Give what you can afford. You are already giving the gift of your friendship. 3) Go in with the other bridesmaids or groomsmen.
Don't go overboard and into debt. Give what you can afford- I am sure the bride will be happy with whatever you give. :)
2006-08-28 06:02:41 · answer #1 · answered by Malika 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old rule was to give as much as the cost of entertaining you and feeding you cost for the evening. But since the average wedding cost over $20,000, and the average number of people attending is less than 200, that is not a good rule.
So, first, give what you can afford. Second, consider if this is a very good friend, or not. $50 to $100 sounds reasonable to me, after you bought all the wedding dresses, and shoes and jewelry, and probably a shower gift, too.
It used to be polite to give a nominal gift, a keepsake type thing with the money, so the bride would have a gift to open, and the money, too. It could be a picture frame, or if the giver was a crafter, something she made. I hear that is not done anymore, it is all about the money.
One bride, the daughter of a co-worker, who I had never met, did not register at any stores, her groom had decided that was like asking for gifts. Actually, it was a bid for money, instead. Due to pressure from horrified relatives, the week before the wedding, they ran to the store and registered, and did it right, I thought, some smaller, and some larger things. My friend and I went to the store and bought several of the little things, each, thinking no one else would, especially so close to the wedding.. We never got thanked, and were told she really did not want those things, she just was in a hurry to register. Her mother told me later the bride was sorry, she moved in to her new apartment, and had nothing to cook or clean with, she had not realized how much just cleaning supplies(mops, sponges, and chemicals and such) really cost. I could have told her, my first apartment I spent $65 on Palmolive and Comet, and a mop, broom, etc.,you get the picture, and that was a long time ago.
So go with your heart, and give accordingly. Give money, and in keeping with your income.
Do not worry about the brides opinion if it is enough, or not. A gracious bride would be grateful for whatever you gave.
2006-08-28 05:36:21 · answer #2 · answered by riversconfluence 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically, you are supposed to give just as you would were you a typical guest at the wedding. However, most people realize the financial sacrifice you make to be in their wedding. Instead of losing sleep on how much to give, why don't you and the rest of the bridal party (or just the other bridesmaids) get a joint gift. Perhaps you each pitch in $20 or $40 and get them something really nice. Or, give them the money in traveler's cheques for their honeymoon. Or, give them an envelope full of gift certificates to different restaurants, museums and movie theaters in your area.
2006-08-28 04:45:41 · answer #3 · answered by Apple21 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good question. I too was a bridesmaid in a wedding. I spent so much money for my hair, shoes, dress, and helped out with other things in the wedding that by the time of the wedding, I had no more money. The bride was very upset with me because I did not give her money as a gift
I remember the wedding, but I remember this the most and it still hurts.
2006-08-28 04:18:19 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the wedding and the couple. When I have been an attendant at a wedding I have given $100. What about a joint gift from the wedding party? Two weddings I was in we went together and bought the bride and groom patio furniture
2006-08-28 04:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am getting married in December, and since my girls are buying their own dresses, getting their own nails (I'm not requiring nails being done because they're wearing gloves during the ceremony and pictures), and their own shoes, I'm not expecting them to give a gift.
If you want to get them something, coordinate with the other bridesmaids and go in on something. I've told my girls that they don't HAVE to buy anything, but if they do want to get a gift, they can all go in on a gift certificate for where my fiance and I are taking our honeymoon (a special resort).
2006-08-28 04:42:01 · answer #6 · answered by Bachman-ette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is more usual for the bridesmaids to get together and buy a group gift--something pretty good too.
2006-08-28 06:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by sq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister gave $150 when she was the maid of honor. She did a lot and doesnt have that much money but I think the bride was really appreciative because she knows she didn't have much. I think 100 dollars is a good amount to be giving.
2006-08-28 09:03:01 · answer #8 · answered by Nate 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
$20-50.
(Since you are a bridesmaid, the bride should give you a gift for doing that for her.)
2006-08-28 16:14:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
chip in with the other bridesmaids for a nice gift or gift certificate...or even with the whole bridal party and pay for the couple's airfare for the honeymoon
2006-08-28 04:59:36 · answer #10 · answered by mdel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋