How do I make up with my girlfriend and prove to her she can trust me again?

Question

I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I cheated on her in the early stages of our relationship and she didnt know about it until only a few months ago. We have discussed it and she told me she forgave me, but only so I would feel better as i was dealing with other stressors at the time. Lastnight we had an argument and she is really doubting whether its good to stay together if this issue keeps coming up. I feel guilty about it all and even worse when I dont trust her being with her friends. I wish it was easy to show her how she can believe everything I say but I truly dont know what I can do or say that will help out the situation. I know i need to get over my jealousy and mistrust issues, but I dont know how. I know she needs to trust me again, but I dont know how. I love her too much to even know what it would be like without her, and i dont want to mess this up any more than I have thus far. If anyone has any suggestions please lemme know, I am willing to try anythin

Thanks everyone so far for your answers but I saw a question posed to me I wanted to answer. We met in atlanta both on vacation and were hooked by each others personalities. I live in socal and her in norcal. We have met and had time together about 7 times in 13 months. I cheated on her because I had all of these feelings and love and awesome talks with a voice and picture, I never had the contact or presence of a girlfriend and missed the power and feeling of her touch. I sought out what i felt was missing from our relationship and have regretted it since. She is coming down to socal for college in 3 weeks.

Answer 1

Kiss her forehead and tell her you love her. Hold her hand and pull her close. Say sorry whenever you feel guilty. Be honest with her about everything you do, and everything you are feeling. Be patient. She loves you with her whole heart.

Answer 2

After reading this, I'm surprised she's holding onto this relationship. Deep down, your girlfriend is probably mucho grande hurt then you went and did such a thing. It's still no excuse that you did that in the 'early stages' of your realtionship. You did the right thing in telling her; I know it musta been hard but she had to know. This girl needs to realize that instead of no trust in this relationship, that you told her the truth and that's a good start. Prove to her that she's totally wrong.. that you're willing to try and win her trust again.

Ehh.. to make things worse, you have jealousy and trust issues? Wow. You can't really get over these.. It's just something you feel and have. You can suppress them but who knows when you can't stand it anymore and release it on others, such as your girfriend? Bad idea. I think instead not trusting your gf, you gotta see things through her way. Maybe she feel sthe same when you go out with your friends. I mean, girls are everywhere and since you cheated on her before, she thinks you'll probably do it again. If you say you won't, then tell her that you truly do mean it.

Time isn't of the essence.. if you wait, you might lose her because she won't put up with it anymore.

All you can do at this point is talk to her.

Sorry.. there's not much I can say because in my opinion, i think all your answers is in you. You just gotta dig deep and find them from your heart.

Good luck, and hope all goes well.

Answer 3

Let me start by saying, cheating should have been the last thing on your mind if you really loved her.Now,that that's out the way it takes time to trust someone again. Give her time to let the hurt die down and try not to pressure her about getting things back on track so quickly.It will happen if you both are willing to work on it. You have to began building the trust again by letting her know everything that you do.Always be honest with her and do things you would not normally do for her.Talk about your feeling ask her for suggestions also.Good luck and don't hurt her again

Answer 4

Your Jealous of her yet you did the cheating. Well you better get this jealousy thing in check. And I know you don't want to hear this but I don't think you can you just can't stop being jealous just like that. You heart her a lot that's not easy to forget for her. I have to say don't try anything right now your not ready give it time if it meant to be it will.

Answer 5

You screwed up.

But, you took the first step, and told her you were sorry, and you seemed to have meant it.

There's a few things that could happen here. First, she may never forgive you. Cheating is a real good way to ruin someone's trust in you.

However, if she does seem to want to try to make things work, the only thing for you to do is give her time. Do things that show her she can trust you. And give her time, don't try to force her to forgive you. That'll just put pressure on her.

Why did you cheat on her to begin with? You need to really think about that, as well. How does she know it won't happen again?

Answer 6

show her your question, and also all the good answers, and ask her if you doing any of these things will make it easier to start rebuilding the trust. don't expect things to fix automatically and also don't assume that you caused her wanting to end things. make sure she doesn't have her own issues with the relationship. also, you said you don't like it when she goes out, do you not trust her? has she given you a reason not to, or is it just transferred guilt? if it's your own issue, let it go, that will help. also remember that her friends were there before you and have helped her through things, and may be trying to help her with you as well ( even if she's just venting, it's healthy) . good luck!

Answer 7

Well, we'll see if you're willing to do "anything." Get counseling for your own insecurities and lack of judgment when you have "other stressors" which are going to be always available as excuses for bad behavior. People trust you because you earn their trust. If she's smart, she'll not forgive you so you'll feel better. That just short changes her feelings and discounts herself. She needs help for that too. Get your head screwed on so it points straight ahead and hope she does the same.

Answer 8

this issue wil not be resolved untill she feels secure about the situation. other wise, this will keep coming up in arguemets.
i've never held onto a realtionship after cheating was involved but
it can work if you are both on the same page and both willing to try. you're just going to have to keep reassuring her that youre
not cheating untill she gets over this. also couples therepy might help.

Answer 9

making up for what you did could be a life sentence. are you willing to go thru that. you hurt someone badly and took there trust. its not easy to build something back up. you will have to give everything you got. and you cant get tired of her bitching. cuz you hurt her. something like that is really bad. you will have to understand all the time. if she bitches just deal with it. you the one who f..ked it up. that is girl is hurt like any woman would be. she may forgive but cant forget. she will always think you are doing something behind her back. so time will get it back right. most men cant handle that so they make an excuse to leave. when at the same time they are not man enough to take it and deal with what they have done.

Answer 10

Time