One day he says "I'm ready to get married, settle down, and be a good husband!"
Then a month may go by and he says "I'm not ready to get married, I have too many things I have to get together 1st before I can take that step!"
Then he's like "ring? flowers? honeymoon? sex!?" --Planning to get and do all of them!!
Then "I need to wait a little longer before I even think about a wife!"
............(you already know~smile~)............then he's like "You know... you would make a great wife!"
I could really keep going with this! He's been like this for the past 3 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
2006-08-28 04:05:32 · 12 answers · asked by ~2Sxy4u!~ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Hmmmmmmmmm, sounds like he's really not ready. Either that, or he can't make up his mind to save his life. Neither one bodes well for a future relationship with him. If marriage is important to you, then what I'd do is give him a deadline, or an ultimatum. Tell him you want to be married, you'd even like to be married to him, but that he needs to either crap or get off the potty. It's decision time here, and you both need to make one. 3 years is an AWFULLY long time to go on and on about wanting to get married, without actually doing something about it. If he's not willing to commit, then you need to decide if this relationship is worth the possibility of never getting married, or if it's time to cut him loose and find someone else who is willing to make that commitment to you, because there is a man who is, this one just may not be it. I can tell you, when my husband knew he wanted to marry me, he didn't waste much time about it. He proposed, and we were married about 6 months later. That was 18 1/2 years ago. Best of luck to you!
2006-08-28 04:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you two? Under 25, most people aren't really ready, but they want to tie the knot in the future.
If you love him, then you could wait it out to see if he grows up a little more. Maybe tell him that you need a firm decision within 6-12 months. Is he ready, or isn't he. He sounds like he's just got typical jitters.
After 3 years, you two should know if it's love and if you two can live together. Maybe premarital counseling could help him decide what he wants. They cover most any issue that could come up in a marriage, sex, kids, money, housing, family, etc... If it's just cold feet, then they can help him see that he's just nervous like every other couple. If it's real doubts, they you can either work through them or split if there is no compromise.
Good Luck!
2006-08-28 11:23:34 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about going to premarital counseling? It helps get all the kinks worked out in a neutral open enviorment. But if the doubts are pretty often, its probably more that just a case of cold feet and something to get worked out before you really start planning. Going to pre-marital counseling is a good way to figure out if your ready. These many different programs and serivices that will do it. Churches usually have really good premarital counseling services that are affordable if thats an issue. Good luck
2006-08-28 11:14:58 · answer #3 · answered by beachbebe_03 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are y'all? That may be a big issue herre. Keep in mind that on average, most guys are getting married around age 25 and up... any sooner than that, and they may freak out every once in a while! Hang in there. Don't push the issue. You can dream about it all you want, but don't make any plans until it's official... as in, there's a ring on your finger! :)
2006-08-28 11:14:09 · answer #4 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is stringing you along. He wants to keep you around, but isn't willing to go the rest of the way.
You need to leave him. He might change his mind and realize how much he loves you when you are gone, or you will have a clean break.
But, don't get your hopes up that he will come back. Odds are he will just find another girl to string along, and make empty promises to.
2006-08-28 15:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by Laura 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you are not living with him. Three years is plenty of time for him to decide if he wants to commit or not. Don't give an ultimatum, but approach him seriously to find out if he's ready for marriage or not. If not, or if he's all jokey about it, maybe it's time to move on.
2006-08-29 10:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds awful and I hate to hurt your feelings, but I don't think this man is truly in love with you. I'm sure he cares for you and there is love there, but if he were in love with you he wouldn't be so indecisive. Plus, chances are with the attitude he's having, he can't see himself with one woman forever and you dont want to be married to someone who cheats on you the entire time.
2006-08-28 11:24:29 · answer #7 · answered by Roseann 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, whats his deal? not sure what to tell you. i mean if you dont mind not being married then dont worry about it. tell him to stop talking about it until he is really ready!! most women feel the need to be married. take it from a married woman. you dont need that paper to be happy. be happy with what you have, not what you want! JUST tell him to shut up!! and either marry you or not. period.
2006-08-28 11:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by mml619 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Player, keeping you interested/hopeful enough so you don't leave, but never actually committing. Pin him down or kick him to the curb and move on with your life.
2006-08-28 14:47:14 · answer #9 · answered by Jeffrey S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some men can be very immature...once they grow up, they are ready for marriage!
2006-08-28 11:14:15 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋