Does he like me?

Question

We have been dating for 3 months. he started out very strong, telling me often how much he cared for me and how he was becoming emotionally invested in me. He also told me that he was having dreams about telling me he loves me, and a couple times he slipped and said flat out "i love you". well yesterday after he said it, he told me he didnt want me to be confused, that it just slipped out because he says i love you to his sister. anyhow I had talked to him a couple weeks ago about maybe getting a place together, and when i brought it up last night he said he didnt want to rush things or plan out our relationship, he just wanted to go with the flow of things. he said he wants to be smart about who he gives his heart out to.
this kind of hurt me, because i thought with all that he had been saying he was falling for me. and now i am confused, because i am having VERY deep feelings for him. I dont want to get hurt. he was married before, i think thats a problem for him

does he need to hear my feelings for him? I want him, and I dont want to scare him away at all. I really feel like i am falling in love with him but i dont want to if he wont return it. its just weird that he was so mushy and sweet at first and now he has a little bit of a guard up.

what do i do?

and he refers to us as "making love"

Answer 1

Maybe he's feeling silly because he said he loves you and you didn't say it back. I don't really see the problem. Its a wise person who wants to take things slowly and he sounds like he really likes you but I really do feel that maybe he is back pedalling a bit because he told you how he felt and it wasn't reciprocated. I love you doesn't often slip out by accident and if he said it a few times he must feel it because he wasn't talking to his sister every time before he said it was he? I would take a risk and let him know how you feel - tell him you understand about wanting to give his heart to someone special. 3 months isn't a very long time to be going out before moving in together. Take it day by day and try not to plan too far ahead. By all means have your hopes and dreams but this sounds like a smart man and I think if you be honest with him and understand where he's coming from you could be great together. He's let you know how he feels, now let him know how you feel and put him out of his misery!! Take it slow and enjoy each other - don't go rushing ahead to move in - enjoy dating for a few more months. I think for the first at leat 4-6 months of a relationship you are still in a honeymoon phase. You don't really see the true person until you're comfortable enough with another person to let your guard down. It sounds like his guard is dropping - don't make him put it back up again by over-reacting. Good luck and I hope you have many happy years together!! :)

Answer 2

The mere fact that you have been dating already clearly means that he likes you. The other details just supported (and confused) this answer.

Everybody doesn't want to get hurt, but girl, you have no choice... you are already "in love". Whatever the future holds we just have to wait and hope for the best. Just remember that what is going on in your life is a "risk" so accept the fact that your heart may get hurt in the future.

But before you do any decisions or move on to any "level" please make sure that his "feelings" are clear, because the attitude that he's showing makes me feel that he's more confussed than how girls usually are. Guess he's not in a very stable stage right now. But it's a good thing he doesn't want to rush on things because he himself doesn't look ready.

PS. he was married before. MAKE SURE THAT HE'S NOT ANYMORE. Because if he still is, that's a whole different story.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

Maybe he does need some reassurance. He's been married before so he knows he has a chance of getting hurt again and this scares the sh*t out of him. What did you do when he stated before that he loved you? If you didn't say it back, maybe it made him wonder your feelings for him. I understand you don't want to tell him how you feel for fear of him not feeling it too or some sort of rejection. But in love just like in life, you sometimes need to take that chance to achieve a much greater reward (his love). Either way, good luck to you and try to be patient. He's scared and it'll pass eventually.

Answer 4

Its got nothing to do with you. He just has some things he needs to work out for himself to satisfy him.
I believe that when he said ' I love you' he felt funny because thats what he said to his ex. Its not that he doesn't love you he doesn't want to fall for something that isn't true. This is where you come in. Without forcing the future on him show him that you love him and you're in it to win it . Don't think that its your fault when he backs out of some situations , because he is just testing them. You'll be ok. GOOD LUCK!!!