Is there an easy way to tell guests that you will not pay for alcohol at a wedding rehearsal dinner?

Question

My brother is getting married soon and my parents are hosting the rehearsal dinner. There will be close to 40 people in attendance. My parents don't drink, and many of the people attending drink heavily, so my parents don't feel like they should have to pay for people to drink like no tomorrow. Is there an easy way to tell them that they aren't going to pay for the alcoholic drink? Possibly in the invitation? Please help!!!

Answer 1

Personally, I don't think you need to say anything on the invite. They will figure it out. Just make sure the wait staff know that the guests are paying for there own drink. As soon as they order a drink the wait staff will offer to start a tab, or collect cash at point of order.

But if you must state something like "cash bar will be available"

Answer 2

I am a recovering alcoholic for 18 years now and I don't think I should force my issues or beliefs on other people. I have to understand that other people do drink and it is not my place to criticize anyone else. I assume that the people who you are having as guests are close family members and friends? They too should respect you and yours and not get out of hand.For the rehearsal dinner of only 40 people, you could have it at a place that doesn't serve alcohol. If that is not possible, then you could ask the restaurant or caterer to only serve wine as a toast and the guests could help them selves and be served at the cash bar which could be put on the invitations. A wedding is a celebration of love and life. After which it is customary to have a reception for families and friends to meet and greet each other. This event usually has food and spirits. You invite your closest family and friends and expect them to bring gifts for the new couple for their new start. Would you have they not enjoy themselves? My cousin had a dry wedding reception in the basement church. It was so horrible that my Grand mother wanted to leave. I wanted my envelope back and after 12 years it is still the talk at family events of being the worst thing ever. I say let your guests enjoy themselves at least you can control what is served for how long and won't be the topic of ridicule for years to come.

Answer 3

No, no, no! Do NOT mention this in the invitation at all. That would be horrible manners.

(You should also not encourage people to even be buying drinks outside of what the hosts are providing. That's RUDE of the guests to even think of doing, at a private, hosted event like this.)

You should print up menu cards for your RD with what the hosts ARE offering, and put one at each place setting. IF the hosts decided to offer limited alcohol, like suppose just one wine option, it could possibly look like:

Appetizers
Fried Zucchini Platter

Main Course
Choice of Crab Cakes or Chicken Piccata
Selection of soft drinks
White Zinfandel (or omit this, if soft drinks only)

Dessert
Vanilla Ice Cream
Choice of Tea, Coffee, or Hot Cocoa

Put a menu card (search Internet for designs) at each place setting in INSTEAD of the restaurant's full menu, because this is what's being offered by the host, NOT anything on the entire restaurant menu.

You want the focus to be on what the hosts ARE providing the guests, not on what they AREN'T. It's perfectly good manners for the host to decide in advance what will be offered to the guests, just like if you were throwing a dinner party at home.

Answer 4

Yes maybe you could put BYOB in the invitation if the establishment allows it. Most people will come prepared with some cash so you could just not mention it and when they ask for alcohol from the waiter the waiter will just simply inform them that they will have to pay for it themselves. Just tell the staff exactly what to say so it sounds polite yet casual. Like "just to let you know alcoholic beverages are not included in the meal but you are more than welcome to enjoy a drink by ordering it yourself." Or they could just direct the guest to the bar and say "alcohol is not included but you are welcome to make a visit to the bar right over there."

Answer 5

Well, normally the rehearsal dinner is just for the bridal party, so you don't send out "invitations". You can either just tell everyone in the wedding that these costs are excluded, or have the waiter inform anyone who orders more then a Coke that they will have to pay the cost.

Answer 6

Your parents could tell the rehearsal dinner site that they do not want to be paying for alcohol, but if guests choose to have alcohol there, they could just tell them that it's a cash bar.

Answer 7

Include at the bottom left corner of the invitation the words "Cash Bar". It's the most commonly accepted way to let people know that the drinks aren't on the house. They can decide how much money to bring to p*ss away on alcohol.
When you call to confirm, you could also remind them that the cost isn't being paid for.

Answer 8

Wow- that's soo freaken tacky!! Why even have a wedding.
It's like having a birthday party without the cake!!

You can put "cash bar" but people are going to be pissed.

If you look on any website- it basically tell you that Cash bar or no alcohol is the TACKIEST thing you can do.

Your parents should rethink what they are doing and have a LIMITED supply of Alcohol. It's like say, well, I don't like chicken so everyone has to eat what I like. Why should I have to pay for beef or anything else because I don't eat it!
TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY TACKY!!

Answer 9

Simply let them know on the rehearsal dinner invite that there is a cash bar, soft drinks or tea are included with the dinner.

Answer 10

make a small note on the invitation that says cash bar will be available. no bid deal. inmy family cash bar is a big no no. but when i got married we were paying for the wedding and i couldnt afford an open bar so i was going to do a cash bar. it is what it is. BUT my parents ended up paying the bar tab which was almost as much as the food. YIKES!