i recently got left by an ex of 4 yrs after i just lost our baby @ 5 months preg. He wasnt happy about it and?

Question

now i just found out im pregnant agian. 3 months along. I know he has a girlfriend , and even changed his phone number. But i know his moms number and his address and am having a hard time deiciding wether or not i should tell him? He stressed me out so much prior to me loosing my baby before, and i just think hes better off not knowing? And i just dont want to pop up with this news. Should i tell him? And if so How? Uuugh! Im so stressed out.Im loosing too much sleep.!!!

Yes im pregnant again and not sure if i should tell him, im being asked such mean things!!! Yes its his, i only had sex with him for 4 yrs, cant say the same for him. And i havent had it after him. And no way is this any attempt to get him back!! im trying to make the right descision for me AND the baby, and if it were just up to me id never tell him. But theres someone in my stomache who i know i have to consider, its just that hes really arrogant and inconsiderate. I wouldnt want him leaving the baby one day cause he felt like it. And i havent told him yet because im a high risk pregnancy, i already have a son that was a preemie born at 1 lb 9oz. And thank god hes heathier than ever now!! And loves to play jokes on me :-) crazy boys!!! And i dont want myself or my child to go through that process again. It sucks when you cant take your baby home for 5 months.

Answer 1

One day you will have to tell him. It's his right and it's also the only way he can start assuming a-l-l the responsabilities that having a child implies. But you can decide when to let him know.

For now, don't think about how he's going to feel if you tell him, think about whether it is the best for YOU or not.

So, you are pregnant and (it seems to me that) you want to have this baby. Now, this pregnancy time must be as relaxed and comfortable as possible. Do you think u r going to be able to have a time like that if he knows or would it be better to handle it all by yourself? 'Cause if you tell him, there are lots of possibilities: a) he dumps his new gf and gets back to u (but still u don't know if he's going to be the loving and understanding partner u need or if he's just going to wear u out), b) he says: "no way! get out of my life and blab bla bla", all things men say to get rid of their responsabilities when they are "having a good time" with someone else, c) he takes a mature attitude (which I don't think will happen here for what you've let us know about him) and tells u: "ok, right now I'm in a new relationship and I don't think we'll ever get along again, but I'm gonna do everything I can to help u out and make this pregnancy time easier than the last time, and I swear I'll always be there for u and our baby."

If I were u, I would tell him, but clearly stating that I'm not doing it to ruin his life or whatever and that I'm not requesting anything from him: nor his love, neither his money. That way, he won't feel like u r putting pressure on him and he will (hopefully) be able to react in a sensible way.

Answer 2

Now U have 2 stop this stressing.
It's not good 4 the baby & it's not good 4 U either.
U do have 2 tell him, a short note should cover it.
Explain 2 him that no matter how he feels about it, U have 2 think of the baby & URself.
Leave it up 2 him what he wants 2 do, try not 2 pressurise him or he'll run the other way.
U need 2 B happy 4 the lil life U have growing inside of U.
He mayB happy with the idea, but if U don't/can't tell him how will U ever know?
U take care, get that note sorted out & fingers X'd he'll B as over the moon as U should B.
Good luck, hope it turns out exactly as U want it 2.
U've been thru so much & really do deserve some happiness.
:)

Answer 3

Sweetie,I think u answer your own question.If he stress u like u say when u where pregnant before.Then u don't need to do that to yourself again at all.And if he has change his number and not gave it to u then he really doesn't want to hear from ya.I would just leave well enough alone for now and after u have the baby health and happy.Call his mom and let her know she is a grandmother and then if he choose to be a part of the baby life great if not then u haven't lost a thing.Because the stress before I am sure did not help u before and could be seriously linked to the lost u had earlier and now with it being that close in pregnancy u are and just having a miscarriage that late in pregnancy u really don't need to add any stress to your life period.Think of u and that unborn baby first then deal with every one else later.Good luck

Answer 4

Firstly, I am sorry about your loss so late in the pregnancy - it's so hard at that many months isn't it (I know).

This kind of situation is so hard that it is enough to make or break relationships.

Why did he stress you out before losing your first baby? Was he happy about you being pregnant? The answer to that, really depends on the right advice to give you.

If it was just the stress of life that go him so mad, then you have to tell him about this baby.

If he didn't want the baby, then although he has a right to know, I would say don't tell him as yet, as you don't need to extra stress. When you get to five months again, you are going to get even more nervous because of your previous experience.

I really feel for your situation but all we can do is advise you with only part of the story. At the end of the day, it is your life & you will unltimately have to make the decision.

At the moment, I would say just concentrate on your happiness & look after your gift. When you are further along, you can then strart thinking of contacting the father through his mother.

Your health & that of your unborn is your priority at the present.

Just remember that plenty of kids are brought up prefectly by single mums & grow up to be pillars of the community so be prepred for that.

I wish you the best of luck with your pregnancy. :-)

Answer 5

Personally honey he is the father he deserves to know the truth. You need to call and tell his mom. And be like I know he has a girlfriend , I don't want start any trouble between them or period but he needs to know that I am three months pregnant with his kid. Ask her to tell him. If he is an *** about it don't worry about it. Just tell him you are willing when the baby is born to get the DNA test done.Get that done and rather he wants to be a father or not he will still have to pay child support. And yes trust me you might love him but once you See how hard it is to raise a kid you will be glad you are getting the child support from his butt. I hope that everything works out for you and the baby. Get you some sleep now stop worrying. Trust in God and pray for the strength to make through your hard times and pray for your baby to healthy. God is really the only person that can help you the most.

Answer 6

Sorry for your first loss. I am a man and father and have 2 grown children. I hate to see a person that calls himself a man that will not take care of his child. I think that you should definitely tell him and make him hold up his end of the deal. Even if it is only a financial end. As for how to tell him, that is a bigger question. If you where with this person for 4 years and you are sure that it is his child then I would first make a call to his mothers home to ask her to put you in contact with him either by giving you his new number or have him call you back. Set a reasonable time limit for a res ponce and wait. If no reply then proceed through family court and petition for child support even during your pregnancy. You are going to need help for many years to come. I wish you luck, stay strong and get the ball rolling now. Don't roll over and take the easy way out for him. Keep a level head, combat anger with calmness and stick to your guns. Hold him accountable.

Answer 7

Do you want anything from him in the way of financial support for the child? It's a mess you are in, that is for sure. Since he changed his phone number, I'd say he really does not want to hear from you. If you are 100% certain the child is his, I think he should know. But, exactly how to break the news - that is the tricky part. You know, I think I'd just let the good old rumor mill do the job for you. Tell the one person you know can't keep their mouth shut, and let the news spread like wild fire. This way, you can just sit back and let him do what he wants with the news, and can not be faulted. You will also be able to tell if he really wants anything to do with the baby, as if he does nothing, it will be very obvious. Where as if you approach him directly, he may feel obligated and act on that.

Answer 8

You should tell him, he has a right to know. If he dosent want to be a part of this child that you are bringing into the world then so be it. But you are a better person for doing the right thing and telling him. As far as being stressed out tell him then stay away till you can handle a little more stress. The first two trimesters of youre pregnancy are crucial. Good look.

Answer 9

I think everyone deserves to know that they are going to be a parent. You need to decide if you are really willing to raise the baby on your own without any kind of support from the father. If you choose to do so, let him first know that you are pregnant with his child and then let him know that it is his choice of whether he wants to be a part of the child's life. As far as how to tell him, I don't know whether your close to his mother or not. You could send him a letter or contact his mother and talk to her or have her have him get in contact with you. You have a lot of thinking to do and I wish you luck. What ever you decide to do, I wish you a healthy happy baby.

Answer 10

I'd tell him asap. He has a right to know and he should pay you child support. If you have to go through his mother- tell her it's extremely important and you need his #. If you have to level with her, you must level with her. That's her grandchild.

He hasn't been with this girl for very long and he needs to seriously think. I believe you only have two options. Raise the child or give it up for adoption.

Good luck. And afte you have the baby, have an IUD put in for birth control. Good luck.