My husband and his sister are constantly fighting... because she won't let him let his past go. How? She is still 'best friends' with his baby's mom. Her son calls her Auntie... and has absolutely NO respect for me and I AM HIS AUNT. She has known now for quiet a while that she is getting married and moving her and their daughter out of state. And has neglected to tell her brother until last night. She blames my husband because he "brought her to the house." The way I was raised was my loyalty is to my brother not his girlfriends. Does anyone else feel the same way??!?
2006-08-28 03:26:49 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have a headache...too much drama, stand behind family....blood is thicker than water
2006-08-28 03:29:22 · answer #1 · answered by J S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you jealous? You have to understand that like it or not she is a part in some way to the family. She has the family blood... your now husband's child link to the family... NOW YOUR FAMILY as well.. extended family. So like it or not she is AUNT too! Your hubby's sister has the right to still be hubby's ex's friend. She and her probably got along quite well.
The baby's mom will always be a part of the family whether you like it or not... divorced or not she'll be a part of that family for that baby at least until she is 14.
Sure loyalty is to family, but evidentally the sister feels the brother did something stupid pertaining you or not pertaining you. Either way chances are the baby's momma and sister view you as a homewrecker? Try not to get jealous and stand by your husband and not worry whether his sister has his back... that is where you as his wife is suppose to be. So anyone can go ahead and be who they want to be sis can be friends with the ex. and you are backing and supporting your hubby that is the main concern and don't fight with hubby either about the situation. Sit down and talk things over with him and support him.
2006-08-28 04:04:35 · answer #2 · answered by KayAlley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family should stick together if at all possible. Sometimes some family members make that difficult. I have a mother-in-law that way. Sadly, we (her son included) stay away from her. She knows she can call when she needs something, but she isn't involved in our lives like she once was.
I realize that there is more to this story than what you're able to tell us here. Some of what you say doesn't make sense because there is no clarification with all the she's and hers in the question. I married into a family of two brothers who fought over stupid stuff for years mostly because of their mother who is mentioned above. There isn't enough room on the Internet to type everything that has happened. As far as your situation... Nothing your husband can say or do will make a difference until his sister is ready to grow up. Family doesn't mean what it used to years ago. Things change :( You and your husband just have to make a life for yourselves and enjoy it to the fullest. In time maybe your husband and his sister will have a relationship, but it will take both of them working at it. Hubby and brother have a relationship now, but it took both of them realizing the problems and fixing them together.
2006-08-28 03:47:38 · answer #3 · answered by pottersclay70 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, what else can i say?? i was also taught that 'blood is thicker than water'. meaning that the family comes first. and just remember your loyalty to your family. (your husband) i am sure he feels the same way you do towards the sister, if not more so. i am sorry for your troubles, and i hope things will look up. also, do they have a court agreement so she cant move out of state with the kids? if not, maybe you and your hubby should think of doing something like that. Good luck.
2006-08-28 03:35:20 · answer #4 · answered by blondie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1, your husband 'can't let the past go' because the past is his son and son's mother in this case. He made blood with his baby's mama and if that's what the sister is pissed bout, him letting go then she has every right.
#2, thank the lord she is leaving the state, that should take some pressure off of you.
#3, you are his wife, nothing you have said indicates that there is any problem there. the only problem (apparent by your question), is his sister demands that he fulfull his parental obligations that he made before you met when he laid down and had unprotected sex with another woman.
Heck, sorry this won't be the most popular answer, but it is reality. If I have any misconceptions, chalk it up to lack of details.
Good luck.
2006-08-28 03:38:06 · answer #5 · answered by patweb01 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you and your husband can do is not welcome her into your home anymore. Why have this kind of unneeded stress when all they do is fight? Eliminate her if she can't control herself. It's sad it would have to be that way but, she obviously is being an instigator and has angry issues of her own.
Most and likely, she had a bitter break up with someone in her past and she probably hates any woman she sees and considers a replacement. This may even be why she's clingy to your hubby's EX.
2006-08-28 03:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe in the fact that you can choose your friends, not your family. If she is causing you that much stress, cut her out of your life. Life is too short to stress over this stupidness and she obviuosly does not care about him or you. Just END IT!! Don't stress about it. It's sad when children are involved but when the children get older, you can develop a relationship (possibly) then. Nothing you can do now except stop wasting precious moments stressing over people like her.
2006-08-28 03:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by Yes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi i went tru almost the same thing. me and my brother use to always fight cuz im still best friend with his ex girlfriend. he couldnt accept the fact that i still hang out with her. i had a hard time to keep my friendship strong and always tried to explain to my brother that he's my blood and i will always love him as my brother but he need to let me live my life. now he seems to get over it. me and my brother no longer fight we are getting along very well and im still best friend with his ex girlfriend. u shouldnt mix things that cant b mixed. try helpin ur husband to not fight with his sister cuz he might regret it and understand that his sister can b friends with who ever she wants ( cuz its her life) and of course i suggest that ur husband have a chat with his sister. both him and her need to let go a little
goodluck :)
2006-08-28 03:36:32 · answer #8 · answered by ▲▼ßððĝiз▼▲ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a family menber well always forgive but a friend my never .we should stand behind or family more but the truth is we are all cought up in being ourselves insteed of being a good brother or sister
2006-08-28 03:32:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i come from a large family and believe me when we fight we all have a go.. it natural for families to quiver and bicker leave em too it things will never be resolved in family disputes but the love is there
:)
2006-08-28 03:31:54 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋