Why can't some people just accept an apology?

Question

Don't get me wrong. I know that some offenses are unforgivable. However, there are some people who won't accept apologies for even minor offenses. Why is that? Why can't they just be big enough to accept an apology?

I'm not referring to any specific offenses on my part, but I think that we have all committed minor offenses that others won't forgive.

Answer 1

I'm dealing with an issue right now where someone wouldn't accept my apology even though they hurt me as well and I never asked them to apologies to me. In my case I think it has a lot to do with the person being hurt in life a lot. They try and come across as strong but in reality they get overly hurt over little things. I feel sorry for people like that because some of them end up holding grudges toward people and I can't see how that helps them. It's almost like a wall they build up to protect themselves but at the same time it hurts them because nobody can reach them.

To me forgiveness is important part of life. If someone makes a mistake or hurts someone and they can accept their actions and be sorry for them that is learning on their part. For someone to forgive can be healing in itself. Being able to let go of feelings and accept that someone's actions doesn't have to loom over ones head.

Answer 2

The main problem here is that most people have never been TAUGHT how to accept an apology. Moreover, many times we only learn these aspects of life from thepeople around us, who ALSO have never been taught how to accept an apology.

Lastly, it's a sign of our times in that people think that an apology will clear everything up. LIke a bad UPN Sitcom, where things go from bad to worse, and then back to good again in 30 min, everyone wants the quick fix.

Both need to learn more about interpersonal communication.

Answer 3

Being mad at somebody who committed a real or perceived offense gives a person an edge over the other. It makes them feel superior and in power.
People who don't accept a sincere apology want to retain that edge.
Forget about them.

Answer 4

I don't know some people just believe they are always right and can also be very stubborn if the apology is given and unaccepted then this person should be left to think.

Answer 5

Maybe they have accepted the apology. The thing people don't understand...is some people forgive, but never forget. First time shame on you, second time shame on them.

Answer 6

Why is it that you think an apology wipes out what wrong you did?
Gee, I can be really mean to someone, and then just apologize for this behavior, and all is well.
Apologies only make the offender feel good, not the victim.
Hypocrites favorite words, "I,M sorry". No it doesn't cut it with me.

Answer 7

sometime the hurt is too deep, and take time to heal.
it maybe small to you but may hit home for others.

Everyone is different, and will react differently.
Not everyone thinks a joke is funny, some will laugh, some will snicker, some will think is dumb.

Same when something hurt them

Answer 8

Some people just can't let anything go. They are small minded and petty. You can't let it get to you. A sincere apology was made, move on.

Answer 9

Some people are full of false pride, vanity as you will...meaning, that their feelings come first..and no matter how much you try to say i am sorry, they will buck you and want to feel better than you by refusing it...too bad...then THEY are the bad guy in my book.

Answer 10

Because we can't control what others do or feel or how they react. If you apologize to someone, that's for YOU, not for them. If they don't want to accept it, screw 'em.

Love, Jack.