how to make my husband's family like me?

Question

we been married a year, i from a jewish/christain family, and him from pakistain. since he told them we married, they cut him off and stopped talking to him, except his youngest sister. is there anyway i can give them good impression of me?
i cant really go meet them, as i not well to travel (pregnant, which they dont know about), and i dont speak urdu, so i cant talk to his parents. all i can do is write letters. and i dont know what to say?
is anyone else in same situation?or knows of anyone?

Answer 1

You can't force people to like you, if they can't even communicate with you they will probably never get over their prejudice. Right now your body,spirit and mind does not need any extra stress. When the baby comes send pictures and a letter.... put the ball in their court.
I would also like to give you a bit of a warning, do not go to Pakistan (even if for just a vacation) and by NO means do NOT allow your child to go either. OR if you do I strongly suggest you look into their laws regarding your rights. This way you do not go in blind. Pakistan and other countries in that region treat women badly and most do not have any type of rights. You could be made to leave the country without your child. Just don't go into the situation blindly.
(I recommend watching the movie "Not without my daughter" )
I do hope tho that all works out for you and your husband, I am sure it hurts him terribly to be cut off like that.

Answer 2

My wife is in a simaliar predictament, and the best thing to do, and what she has done, is not to stress over it, the belief is that they will come around, and if not, its their loss, and they are the ones that miss out, As long as you love your Husband and that wonderful Child then everything else is just not all that important. I have actually fopund a lot more comfort in my In laws home than i have in my moms home over the past year (we have only been married a year as well, Congrats BTW), So really just turn to those that DO support you, and forget about the rest. BUT always leave the door open, because maybe this child you are bringing into the world could help bridge the gap. Hope it works our for you, You are not alone on this.

Answer 3

"MAKE" them is your fatal error. Being yourself should be enough. People like people for various reasons, mutual interest, or interested in what you do or your personality or something. Its "OK" if they dont like you. Be pleasant and accepting when you have to. An example of being yourself. If they say they dont like something you do. Tell them something like, well that is how am am and its not a problem with " husband name". Lovely weather were having huh? (Get the idea) Dont change for them. You will start a process that will never end if you do. My in-laws warmed up to me over about 5 years. Actually I think they enjoy visiting with me more than their sister. I was always "JUST" Myself. I tryied to be friendly and times I just ended conversations and moved on. I took insults graciously like saying, Oh your a NUT, i would expect a comment like that from you, hey is the game on yet? (Get the Idea/)

Good luck, Take "Make" out of you vocabulary and replace it with encourage. You will have better luck, Cheers, Ken

If your ever around them just stick close to hubby, if he translates keep the same approach. Their tranditions are deeply rooted. But the new baby is still their blood and nothing curves attitudes more than the inocense of a child. I think they should be told right away,

Answer 4

You shouldn't care if they like you or not. He married you because he obviously loves and he didn't care about what his family would say why should you. I'm also in the same situation and honestly if my husbands family likes me or not is something that doesn't bother me anymore and I'm also pregnant and it was very hard to tell his family at first but they got over it. So don't stress it everything comes in its time. Good luck with that Baby hopefully everything turns out good for you.

Answer 5

There is no 'making someone like you' . They either do or they don't. My best guess is that first they are in shock that their son married outside of their faith and religion. This is a situation that you would have to take your time with. I am not saying that you should convert or anything but, check up on their religion, get as much understanding of his family's faith as you can. Get on a level to where you at least can be knowledgeable of their ways. Write your letters, express to them how important to you their involvement in your children's lives is. Be strong, if they still refuse you after all that, it will be up to them to open up to you.

Answer 6

My mom had this same problem with my dad's sisters except that they are both black. My mom just snapped on them one day and they straightened out after a year of not speaking to them. But I would suggest you be yourself and if they can't accept you for who you are than what else is there to do. Don't worry (I know it's hard to). Throught time maybe they will but if not continue to do what you do. What matters is the love that you and your husband share.

Answer 7

It a very hard situation. My husbands family hated me for the longest time. His mom still hates me. His mom tried breaking us up, wanted to fight me..lol. She has caused us so many problems, even went as far to say that our daughter wasn't his. Everyone but his mom excepts me now. She's always running her jaws about me and my family. Things have been so bad, it has almost cost our relationship. Then, my older sis sat down and talk to me. She said to me, " If you love him and want to be with him, why does it matter who likes it and who don't? Let his mom run her mouth if it makes her feel better. She's the one looking childish and making a fool of herself. If she doesn't want to except you then who cares. You and him are together because you 2 make each other happy. NO one said that families had to be happy about it." She is right. If they really care about there son, then they should except you. However, if you want to write a letter, you could always let them know that you wish that they would except you. Tell them how much you 2 love each other and want to be together. Let hem no that you want them to be apart of ya'lls life and ya'll babys. But let them know that you 2 will be together no matter what. That way they'll see that you 2 are serious about each other. I actually talked to my husbands family about it over the phone, but a letter is just as good. I hope this helps. Keep your head up and don't give up. Good Luck!

Answer 8

There is nothing more common in most relationships than in-law problems.

Been there, done that, fought for years.

Trust me, from experience, don't bother trying. You are just going to cause a rift between yourself and your husband.

You married him, not his parents so just concentrate on the happiness of you, your husband and your future happiness with your baby.

Good luck :-)

Answer 9

obviously he is a better person than the rest of his family. Forget it, and go on with your lives. I was married to a man for 5 years, and after all his abuses (he's a raging alcoholic), when we got divorced, it was all still my fault. So, don't waste your time and energy in trying to make them like you, spend it on making your husband love and care for you, where you will see and feel rewarded for who you are

Answer 10

Your future with family can be helped by new baby. Send mother-in-law pictures. You and husband and baby bump. Pictures of ultra-sound. Baby clothes,bedroom. Include them. No pressure. Dont expect response. Ice will melt with time. Aloha!