Advice please.....?

Question

I like this guy he lives in FL. I live in GA. We knew each other when he lived up here (he recently moved). We never dated till after he left to go to FL. He's a great guy! Wonderful personality, stable, good father to his little boy. My mother doesn't want me to get to involved with him, becuase of the little boy. She uses the example of my older brother becuase he married a girl with a kid (their kid is now 13), and now their marriage is on the rocks because their boy is rebelling against my brother. Mom is scared the same thing will happen to me. That I won't truly be happy.

I know that I shouldn't listen to advice that people say I should always make myself happy. But should I seriously think about this and look at my brother's marriage, before I jump into something I might regret. I'm 20 and he's 27 by the way, his little boy is 4.

My brothers little boy was 2 when him and his wife got married.
The guy that lives in FL, when he comes up and we hang out, his little boy is with us so I know we all get along. I love the little boy to death I would do anything in the world for him.

Answer 1

The best things that ever came into my life are my step daughters. They are now 17 & 19. Yes we had some ups and downs, and some pressing to see how far they could go with me, but they are my greatest loves even to this day. I got them when they were 6 & 8. Every relationship is different, so don't let what is happening in someone elses life determine what you do with yours. Follow your heart

Answer 2

Well, angel, only you can answer this question. How old was your brother's step-son before he entered into the relationship with the boy's mother? Age can and does make a difference. Also, how long have your brother and his wife been together? In all probability, their relationship probably isn't on the rocks because of the teenager's rebellion alone, although that can put a strain on things.

You and this guy should sit down before you go anywhere and have a real heart to heart. Talk about things that you believe in, your ideals, even things such as method of punishment, how he feels about more children eventually (if you or he wants them or not), etc. Then make your decision. Don't let the fact that he has a child from a previous relationship end this relationship before it even starts...sometimes you have to take a leap of faith and hope that things turn out for the best.

Answer 3

Your boyfriend has responsibilites. Maybe you two should sit down and discuss how to raise him or would want to raise him. Remember the little boy deserves a mother who will love him too. If you are in it just because of the guy than that is not fair to you, the guy, or the little boy. Your mother just wants you to be happy and aware of the situation. Use your bother for some advise and an example. He might have an interesting view point or some suggestions. But yes in the end it is up to you.

Answer 4

If you get in there now, and this guy smoothly and slowly introduces you to his son, if you develop a relationship with the son FIRST, due to his age, you have a chance. BUT if his mom is a ***** and makes derogatory comments about you, you don't stand a chance. He's young enough for you to develop a relationship and young enough to be turned against you. This is going to take a lot of thought. I would start a relationship with both of them but back out if you see the red flags. That way you won't regret not trying, since this guy is so great.

Answer 5

all teenagers rebel. it isnt ur brother fault. he is just using ur brother cause he is a easy target for him. if u love a guy u will also love his kid i am sure. there r many kids who think more of their step parents than their own parents, all a kid wants is love if u can give it to him and not make it a big differnce abt he is not my kid and i cant love him as much i dont see a problem. be a good a g f and remember u also have to b a good mom for the kid. if u can then good luck. if u cant then just let go of this relationship now

Answer 6

Well there are no sure things in life, especially in relationships. You will always be rolling the dice. Ultimately it is your decision, and you have to live with that, but your mother may have, at least, a good point - worth taking into consideration at least.
Since you have never actually dated him/had a romantic relationship with him, you may find it desn't work like it does your friendship. Often you'll constuct that kind of relationship in your mind, but it doesn't work out like you imagined. And you'd have to move to get there. Plus, yah - the kid thing. I think you should really weigh this decision carefully.

Answer 7

Hi little sweet prince, first my answer is obey u r mother what ever she said, she is the first god for all of us. if she not give u the life then what would u do? think....? when u born as a small babe she only keep u safe and gaurd from many things for that reason only she is a god. so obey her, if u obey her truly u r wish of expected life with that man is get succed one day. daily u get the blessings from your mom and touch her feet and get the blessing. it would really make u r mother to think.

Answer 8

think it over you might wanna listen to your mother on this one
she did explain you why and thats a good reason not too

Answer 9

i think that yo should make a lisst of pros and cons with this guy. if you have more pros than cons tahn jump in! but if there is more cons than pros, then maybe you should think it through a little more. maybe going with this guy isnt for you, maybe your path isnt that one. good luck with your guy!

Answer 10

i guess u're really in luv... +2 for me..... +10 for u from ur kid