Will the military help me with custody and reloaction issues w/ my child?

Question

I am a single mom who is engaged to an Airman. We will marry in the summer of 07 and probably have to PCS to Albuquerque, NM. I live in Miami and so does my daughters father. He has limited contact with her through his own choice and rarely pays child support. If he makes a fuss about us leaving will the military help or step in?

Answer 1

Once you are married you will be able to have a JAG attorney, I'm not sure about one representing you in court, but he/she can advise you. Once you are married you will have to register your child with DEERS so she can receive medical care through the military and make sure you do whatever it is you have to do to have your husband listed as her sponsor. This doesn't mean he will have to adopt your daughter, it will just give her the rights and priviledges that any other military child or spouse has. Whenever your husband inprocesses with you, you will be able to get most of that stuff done, including finding out what services JAG can provide for you. I hope you are keeping a journal of any visits your ex has, or rather chooses NOT to have with your daughter, and also keep track of what he owed you in child support. Anything that can help you if he does give you a difficult time about moving with your child. In general, the law allows your child to move with you if you are part of a military family. My friend has her son with her and her husband here in Germany, she was in the same situtation as you, her son's bio. father didn't visit often and rarely bothers to pay child support. By the way, I hope you enjoy New Mexico, I'm originally from there, it's a beautiful state.

Answer 2

They will help you to a limited basis. Once married you are entitled to free advice from the JAG office.

But you won't be allowed to violate state law or the Hague Convention on Child Abduction. This convention, which the USA has ratified and the federal government imposed on the states, makes the habitual residence of the children, usually where they have lived for the past 6 months, responsible for determining custody and where they will live. (I have used this rule judiciously on occasion by advising a mother to move, with written permission of the father, to another jurisdiction where the law was more favorable to her, although the father didn't suspect that was the reason. Then, if problems developed, her new state had jurisdiction.)

The Convention causes problems sometimes for military families since the children can't be moved without permission of both parents, or the Court. Thus, if a military family divorces, a court has to decide what was their habitual residence. Normally a military member's domicile is where s/he joined the Service -- but that isn't necessarily the kids' habitual residence (and they may never have been to that state or territory!) I recall a case of a military member married to a German woman, and Germany was the kids' habitual residence even without reference to their nationality (they may or may not have been dual citizens; German law changed in 1999 and before that dual nationality was conditioned on various factors).

I suggest you try to stay on good terms with your ex even if it costs you some money, since he could stop you -- unless the court overruled him on grounds of the "best interests of the children" -- from taking the kids out of state or abroad. I have known cases where the ex-husband (or the mother) signed away rights for money. Cynical, but true.

Be careful and use discretion. And good luck.

Answer 3

Most cases like this, the military is not responsible for helping you with the custody battles. They can give you legal advice, but it is up to you to obtain a civilian attorney. If he does not pay child support and rarely sees her, there shouldn't be any problem with being able to move her. If you have custody of her, depending on the laws in your state, it is at your discretion where the child goes. If your future husband PCS's to an overseas location, you will most definitely need the child's father's signature to obtain a passport as well as his permission for her to travel overseas. A civilian judge can order him to sign the consent for the passport, but it is better and faster if you gain the consent yourself. SJA is available only for advice, but it will not be helpful if you need to go to a court to get this resolved.

Answer 4

No. the military cannot and will not get involved with issues like this. You need to review the custody agreement and if necessary , have it altered to give you permission to take your child across state lines due to a military PCS. Since by your own admission he rarely sees her or pays child support, you shouldn't have toomuch of a problem gettinga court to side with you and allow you to move out of state.

Answer 5

Before I married my Soldier,that was the 1st thing I worried about,was what if we have to move. I have little girls from a previous marriage and their "sperm donor" paid child support but never cared a thing about seeing them. He did however care about seeing them suddenly after finding out I was getting married and moving maybe to Colorado base from Texas. I tried to stay on good terms though,and not let it bother me...YET. When I told him we may have to move to Colorado base for 3 years he freaked out. I tried not to make him mad,and made an agreement with him that I had signed in court. I worked it out with him that once a month he can fly there to see them for the weekend,and I will pay for half of the ticket. Then we drive here once a month to take them to visit him. My parents are close by him so we would be driving out here alot anyhow. My hubby and I can stay with my parents and visit while the girls are with the Ex. I have a feeling he will just give up and not care about going anyhow,he just wanted to start crap and it didn't work out that way,so now we can ove and we have no problems!

Answer 6

Not while you are engaged. The military identifies families as spouse & children or adopted children. You need to get ex-husband to give up rights to daughter or go to Florida court for permission to take her out of state. If he is not paying child support & seeing her it should not be that difficult.
Smart to start early - look for women's groups that have attorneys, they will help you.

Answer 7

Once you are married, you will be entitled to go to the SJA for legal support, but that probably won't amount to much. SJA, in this case, will probably refer you to a civilian lawyer. Mainly, the SJA is there for wills, power of attorneys, and legal advise.

Once you are married, the military will pay to move you from Miami to where your husband is stationed. If you live on base, then it will be rent and utilities free. If you live off base, then they will assist you with rent.

Good luck, and thanks for your support.

Answer 8

NO -- DEFINITELY NO!!!!! This is NOT a military problem -- this is a PERSONAL PROBLEM -- and YOU, the Civilian future spouse has to deal with this on your own.

This means that NOW, you need to look over your divorce decree and start getting prepared -- and you may have to go back to court and get the decree modified -- go back through mediation -- and get child support adjusted.

First step though -- file with Florida's Child Support Enforcement office near you -- they will start the Child Support Enforcement Process -- bring the payment tracks so far, where the father is located, any information you have on him (including where he works, his earnings, his SSN or Driver's License Number, Birthdate, etc).

Custody will be determined SEPARATELY -- and I mean SEPARATELY -- so START NOW doing your work and get it straightened out!

Answer 9

No the military will NOT get involved because that is an issue between you and the father of your child.

Answer 10

Yes.. there is a Judicial system in the military that you can visit to talk about your husband (EX) not paying suppot, etc. Since he is in the military still, they will take care of things believe me.