The invitation has my name, but not guest with it. Because of this, just wanted to check and see what I do. I'm serious with my GF and by the wedding she will be my fiance. Is it okay to ask my friend if I can bring her with me, or should I just politely decline? I don't want to step on any toes and I want to do the right thing. Please advise.
2006-08-28 02:51:54 · 60 answers · asked by tannedknight45 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am very new to this situation. My friend is a good friend, I don't want to come out rude and tacky. At the same time, my GF is my GF and I need to do right by her. Those of you who say I'm being petty, I don't believe that is the case.
2006-08-28 05:01:05 · update #1
Some people simply forget to include "guest" on invitations these days. If this is a good friend of yours, he or she probably knows about your relationship with your soon-to-be fiance, so he/she may even expect her to attend with you. On that note, if this is a good friend, why not ask if your wife-to-be can enjoy the special day as well ... maybe even get some ideas from the wedding?! I'm sure they would rather have you attend than decline because of a possible misunderstanding! (BTW -- did they include a response card? If not, numbers may not be a big issue for them.)
2006-08-28 03:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by bethiswriting 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Nope, you cannot bring a guest in this situation, and please don't assume you can. As you're about to find out when you start paying for a wedding, they can get very expensive, and your friend has probably picked over the guest list to death weeding out the people that they couldn't invite, and those they could to get the numbers right. The polite thing to do would be to attend on your own, and respect their wishes, and wish them well as they begin their new lives together. Or you can politely decline if you're insulted that you can't bring a guest. But I promise you, you'll be doing the same thing to people at your wedding, so think twice before you go that route. Good luck!
2006-08-28 04:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is well aware of this girl and her importance in your life. Knowing this, they STILL omitted her from the invitation. This is because they have decided that all unmarried (read: single) guests cannot bring dates.
It would be rude of you to call and ask if you can bring her. If they had the budget/room to include guests, they would have. Strickly speaking by ettiquette guidelines, it's rude to invite someone to their wedding that they didn't invite themselves.
However, they'll tell you that it's okay to bring her. They might not even know that you're being rude by asking. Or, they might have assumed she would be included. Or, maybe she got her own invitation. Or, maybe they'll decide that it is more important for you to be there than it is to not have her.
So, make the call. Just know that they might see it as rude, and they might say no. Or, they'll be completely okay with it.
2006-08-28 07:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was pretty rude on the bride/groom part not to include a guest on your invitation, even if they didn't know you were seeing someone! I would call to RSVP and tell them there will be 2 and not 1 coming so they can adjust their records. If that is a problem then politely decline going to the wedding. It's possible that they had help doing these invitations and aren't even aware that this has happened.
2006-08-28 02:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The rule for invites is that when a couple is married, they are both invited. As well if they are engaged. Long-term serious couples it is recommended the partner is included. But for GF/BF it is usually up to the couple getting marrieds budget, or whomever is paying for the wedding. But keep in mind Weddings are expensive. And each Body in attendance cost $. Its generally rude to ask them to bring a guest, unless you are close to them. But if your close enough to feel comfortable asking them, then they prob should know you well enough to know you have a serious GF. You may however try being coy, and asking your friend something like "I misplaced the envelope to the invitation, I cant remember how it was addressed, was my GF was included? I know how limited space can be so I was just wondering." That way you get your answer, but arent putting them on the spot for not inviting her, but cause it may have been an oversight it still leaves the window open for her to attend with you.
2006-08-28 03:11:24 · answer #5 · answered by beachbebe_03 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ask your friend if you can bring your girlfriend. - It just seems to me that everyone should be able to bring a date. If they say, bring her- then RSVP with her name so that they can make a place tag for her at the table. If they say, no- Tell your girlfriend and let her know how you feel. She may just say, go anyway. If it becomes a problem for you/her, then don't go.
I mean, you're going to be married soon, too. Would this mean that you couldn't invite this friend and his wife? I'd ask and tell him you are in a slight predicament. I'm sure he'd allow you to bring your fiancee. If your friend says no- you've told him straight out that it's causing a prob with your girlfriend and I don't think you'd be wrong to decline. You should worry about pleasing your girlfriend. She's the one who wants to spend the rest of her life with you- your friend doesn't. And invite him and his new wife to your wedding. It might be that their budget is tight or that the room is very, very small. Whatever. Just rise above it and invite them anyway. Also, make sure you give them a gift. from you and your girlfriend.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
2006-08-28 03:02:24 · answer #6 · answered by Linda S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Double check with frisnt and see if you are allowed a guest. If the invite has no guest allowed and you love your friend, then go to the wedding. Its one night, for 3-6 hours. They might not have the funds to have more people at the wedding and were just including close people. I am sure yor GF wont care if you go alone, being that you arent allowed a guest.
2006-08-28 02:57:59 · answer #7 · answered by Thumper 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the rule of thumb in inviting significant others is: they should be included on the invitation if they live together, if they are engaged, or if they have been together for at least a year. The couple may just be trying to save money as well, or may be ignorant of the fact that 'and guest' needs to be on the invitation. I just got one from someone who didn't know that. After I RSVP's for one person they asked why I wasn't bringing anyone - I told them it was because mine was the only name on the invitation. They didn't know. Wouldn't hurt to check with one of the parents of the bride.
2006-08-28 02:56:35 · answer #8 · answered by They call me ... Trixie. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the invitation did not include "and guest" or the other person's name, then you cannot bring them along. And it would rude to ask and even tackier just to bring her. Most likely the invitation was only for you because those paying for the wedding are tight on funds and there is a limited guest list.
So you have to decide whether you want to attend alone, or not go. One compromise is to attend the wedding ceremony with your girlfriend and skip the reception all together.
2006-08-28 02:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
technically because the invitation did not mention "and guest" you should not assume you can bring a guest. However, if you are comfortable asking your friend if you can bring along your fiancee than by all means do so. If you do not want to attend said wedding without her then just RSVP that you are unable to attend. You should still send a small gift though. Perhaps a heartfelt card with a gift card to the store they are registered enclosed.
2006-08-28 02:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by lolo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋