I love my girlfriend. I think I'm going to ask her to marry me soon. there's something that been bothering me though. Before we dated, her EX really screwed with her head. he cheated on her, and pretty much used all of her insecurities against her to get what he wanted.
We've been dating for almost a year now, and whenever we go out, if there's a female cashier and I make Eye contact with her, something I try to do with everyone, she accuses me of of flirting or being interested in the clerk or waiter or whoever. I Honestly have no interest in pursuing other people. Of course, having had the EX that would lie about as much as he would talk, she has a hard time hearing that. I've told her, if I we to cheat, leave me. if I'm bad to her, she should leave me, but If I don't, and I'm not, Don't accuse me or think history is going to repeat itself. No reassuring seems to work. he did that. So Far, time has helped little.
Does anyone have any advice?
2006-08-28 02:26:56 · 9 answers · asked by bill f 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
only thing you can do is tell her to judge you on you and her relationship.tell her that man do cheat but you are not about that..or spin it like this tell her that you need trust in your relationship or you cant be togeher say i deserve the benefit of trust untill i do something to break that trust
2006-08-28 02:44:25 · answer #1 · answered by bulla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once bitten, twice shy......she obviously was hurt badly by the ex and her mind set is that all men are the same. You can tell her you're different and she's probably not going to believe you. Broken trust is a hard thing to restore. Perhaps when you ask her to marry you, tell her that you only want her "yes" answer if she truly believes that she is the ONLY woman in your life and that you are totally committed to her and her alone. Be very open and honest with her about everything and she will eventually let her guard down and trust again.
2006-08-28 09:37:10 · answer #2 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been in the smae situation and i do the same thing to my man i live with. not so much accusing him but deep in my heart i cant trust any man because of the jerks before him. the only advice i can give you is keep showing her and telling her how much you love her. once she feels like you have gave up on that affection shes going to be lost again. i know i feel that way when im not told im loved or appreciated. just be there for her always,,,she has to get over what has happened to her,,,dont think she will completley but you really cant blame her. once you been hurt it leaves a painful scar in your heart that never goes away. just love her and tell her often. we love to hear these things. good luck
2006-08-28 09:35:45 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ive been where she is at and from a girls point of view she will have a hard time beliving u. just give her time i mean its hard it could have been puppy love or she could have been in love with him. do u see where im coming from here? its hard to mend a broken heart back together. i mean i know im only 15 but my heart has been broken many times and it sucks but if u just give her time then she might come around in the mean while dont act diffrent to any other girls i know it sucks but its life and she may or may not come around its a 50 50 % chance here i mean i know its hard just work with her or have one of her best girl friends talk to her and tell her thaat ur not cheating thats what my bf did and it worked but ur dealing with love here right? well ask urself this do i know its realy love or how do i know and u can answer ur own ? ok? good luck with this.
2006-08-28 09:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to trust when someone hurt you so badly, and the natural defense is to protect yourself. Talk to her and reassure her about your intentions, and if she cannot believe in you.. she may need some sort of therapy to work things out.. In order to have love she will have to be able to give it to you.. a year sounds like a good amount of time. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-28 09:36:25 · answer #5 · answered by enquiring mind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get over it. I was cheated on, and it was the first time ever being cheated on. The guy I am with now I am paranoid about it but I have talked to him about it and he has explained to me how he is and what he is like. So maybe if you sit down and talk to her she will work through this issue a little better.
2006-08-28 09:35:05 · answer #6 · answered by thickgirlsickofdrama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be very patient with your girlfriend because it is difficult for her to trust somone when she has been badly hurt before. Maybe you should suggest counselling for her, like this she will get over the hurtful feelings that her ex ignited in her and start to trust you instead. It is very nice of her to stick with her when she is so jealous, it is nice that you understand her and make sure to not let history repeat itself.
2006-08-28 09:33:52 · answer #7 · answered by trushka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
time will heal her worse i only thing i can tell u to do is to be kind to her feeling no matter what she says or does and try not to give her a reason to distrust u in any way i hope thing work out for u and it sucks that some men can be so mean and hurt woman so nice and make it hard for good men
2006-08-28 09:42:37 · answer #8 · answered by janet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing cant be repaired so eaassy im been there b4,,,,,,even wwith money and lux stuff gift or any conditionals
2006-08-28 09:33:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋