is it possible to stay "friends" with someone who says they are in love with you?

Question

or is it better not to see them + give them chance to get over it. it seems staying "friends" just makes it harder for them to forget, and the person keeps trying to convince me that we could have been so good together, etc, etc

Answer 1

I've gone through this same scenario. And it made it hard on me because I was married when the other guy approached me. I cut off all contact with the guy.. for the sake of not being impulsed by flattery.

I do believe it's possible to remain friends, at a distance. Email, phone, with groups of other friends.. but being alone with this person might send the wrong signal .. and this person might think you are trying to exchange the same message.. even if you've told this person you just want to be friends. Maybe time will only tell what his/her intentions are.. as a friend.. this person might just turn out to be a great person to have in your life.. if they can separate love from emotions and embrace it at a friendship level.. what a gift... Best of luck.

Answer 2

Its a personal choice, what you need to think about though is, how much of a good friend has this person been to you? could you bear to not have them in your life? How would this 'friend' feel if you told them this is how you are currently feeling?, how long have you known them?

My personal opinion is to get them alone and talk one on one face to face and for you to gently remind them that, this is all they will ever be to you....there is no need to back off or stop seeing them, that can ruin a perfectly good friendship, if this friend loves you as much as they say they do, then they will accept your feelings, and try to control them, BUT remember one thing - This friend of yours may have been wrestling with their own concious over this, for quite sometime, and may not understand why they do love you.......sometimes it just happens, and then there is nothing you can do about it, all you can do is hope it runs its course.....if not there is probably a good reason behind it.

Can i ask something though? What is the reason you dont like this 'friend' in that way? You dont find them attractive? or you already have someone in your life? Bear in mind this friend can be there for you, so much more than other people when things fall apart in your life, because the love is there, they'll willingy do anything to keep you from being hurt in anyway....think it over, then decide....you could be losing out on a wonderful thing, and not even realise it....weigh up your circumstances, look at everything you have with each other, than decide if its really worth keeping this person in your life or letting them go..........

Answer 3

I think your idea of keeping your distance is a good one. It's possible for exes to stay friends it seems to happen all the time, but usually when both sides have agreed to split. The difference here is it's one way. I think most of us have experienced it. It does change a relationship it's always there when you meet them, that old elephant in the room thing. You don't want to be horrible but you don't want to give them the wrong impression either. Until he/she finds someone else I'd say stay away maybe after that you can hook up again.

Answer 4

it is possible but it takes a lot. staying friends will make it harder to forget but if the friendship is strong it will survive. saying you love a friend is a good way of breaking relationships, it is a form of embarassment especially if the other does not feel the same.

Answer 5

Most of my male friends have been in love with me at one time or another. Bob used to rent a room from me when I first separated from my husband. After he moved out, we continued to be friends and hung out a lot. Even though he kept saying he was in love with me, it never went further than friendship. Eventually he found someone else. Years later there was a guy who was like a brother to me. Paul also was staying with me for awhile and he once told me I was his fantasy. It pissed me off because I had hoped that he was my close friend because he just liked me and not for any ulterior motives. After not talking to him for a couple of days we were friends again and he never again crossed the line. He is happy with someone else now. So yes it is possible to be friends as long as you make things clear about it going no further.

Answer 6

No way - I've had this on 2 occasions and this is what happened:

- Person A still to this very day comes out of the woodwork whenever I split up with someone, trying to be my friend and be a shoulder to cry on, then the next thing I know he is trying to crack on to me. This has been going on for 10 years now!

- Person B just kept on being soooooo nice to me all the time, it became bloody annoying. Every time I saw him, I just felt uncomfortable to be rebuffing him all the time. I had to be so careful of everything I said incase it could be misconstrued in any way to mean that I liked him back. One day I went with him to lunch at his friends house. It was so obvious he had told them he liked me and it was like a double date, with them checking me out as a potential partner - that was the last straw and I cut him off.

Answer 7

Happened to me once. The other person (who I was in love with)just decided to "move away" for a few months. After the heartbreak, then the anger, then the dispair and then the cooling off, we became friends and have been very close friends for the past 10 years.

Answer 8

After you break up with someone you HAVE TO have a separation period where you don't communicate, you don't see each other, NOTHING. Otherwise, you're right, it is hard. I tell people all of the time that you can not go immediately from a relationship to being friends. It just doesn't work.

Answer 9

It could have been but that's not what you want. If they can't accept that it's better to put some space between the two of you. Explain to them again that you just want to be friends and nothing else. If that doesn't work then it's time to move on.

Answer 10

I think you can still stay friends but you have to make sure you act is if that all you can be friends. You shouldn't let anything ruin a friendship at the end of the day its a precious thing to behold.